'Laugher';
written by Rinna.
She was a laugher.
You wouldn't know by looking at her. Her appearance was quiet, timid, mousy. And so was she, for the most part.
But really, she was a laugher.
She would sit in her room sometimes, replaying her day, and just giggle about it, or chuckle a bit, or let loose an airy, rocking laugh that would bounce off the walls and dance with her voice like a bunch of bright, laughing shadows.
She wondered why she didn't laugh in front of everyone else. "Retasu," Ichigo would say as she giggled. "Wasn't that funny?" And Retasu would nod and smile in agreement, because it was funny. But she wouldn't laugh.
Not till she was home in her room.
And then, on that day... they'd finally been able to protect the Earth from Deep Blue. She didn't want to admit it, because she felt guilty and dirty, but she hadn't really thought they'd win.
Ha. Win. Like it was a game. Like it was something great, what had happened.
And after it was all over, after she'd finally gone home to a worried family and a comfortable room, she thought. She thought about the fighting, about protecting Ichigo, about the sacrifices everyone had made... even the enemy. Especially the enemy.
Taruto. That little boy'd gotten himself killed defending Ichigo on her way to the Palace.
Kisshu had protected Ichigo as well, to the very end.
But Pai... he'd protected them, Purin and Zakuro and Minto and Ryou and Retasu herself. He'd finally realized that it had gone too damn far, that it just wasn't okay anymore...
And he'd looked back at her. He'd almost smiled, because he knew that he'd die for sure, but he was hoping that she and the others would live. Thinking of him, of that look on his face right before he'd been hit, she started to laugh. She laughed because it was beautiful and cruel and numbing. She laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes, until she was crying- and suddenly she was sobbing, not laughing, but there was still a twisted smile on her face, because... because it was twisted, just like her smile, just like the fact that they'd won like it was a game.
And she sat there on her bed, clucthing the blanket in her white-knuckled fists, crying and smiling and wondering who the hell had thought this bloody game up, because it was stupid and wrong and just plain screwed-up.
Even though he was still alive.
Was that part of the game, too, she wondered? To kill off her enemy and bring him back as a second-time savior who'd help save Tokyo form his betrayed Master's falling palace? Some game plan that was.
She realized she wasn't sobbing any more, that she was just staring at her fists with her eyes wide and dried tears on her face. He was alive, she thought, they were all alive, so wasn't it okay?
She knew it wasn't. Nothing like the battle they'd all fought could be okay.
But maybe it was close enough to okay that she didn't have to worry over it. Maybe it could turn out all right anyway.
And, though slowly at first, she started to laugh again, because it could be okay. Even if she and her friends had to break a few rules, they'd win this twisted game, that was for sure.
And she'd laugh through the whole thing.
A Note from The Rin;
...I don't know, okay?! I started writing this with a very vague idea of what I was going to do, and then my muse decided to laugh at me and say,"Well, screw that," and something really weird happened to the end. That totally wasn't what I'd planned to do. I hope it's still okay. Hm.
Yay, a Retasu-centric piece. Gasp, what's this, Rinna? Someone other than P-chan or Taru-kun?! Madness!! Yes, I know. But Retasu's cool, ne?
Anyway, I'll leave you alone now. It's 3:30 in the morning, Dora the Exlporer is yelling at me about estrellas or whatever through the TV, and I need sleep.