DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.
~ Rabbits in the Garden ~
"Salazar, might I borrow one of your serpentine friends?" Helga asked over breakfast one morning.
"Whatever for?" Salazar inquired in response, with a slight frown. He was not in the habit of lending out his familiars, but he was curious about the purpose his friend had in mind for the one whose services she had requested.
"There has been quite an infestation of rabbits in the gardens as of late. A snake would be the perfect deterrent to keep them at bay."
"Why not have Godric slay them?" Rowena put forth. "He is always in search of monsters to stick with his sword."
Godric gasped in horror at this suggestion.
"Rabbits are not monsters! How dare you suggest that I should put my blade to so foul a task as slaughtering sweet, innocent little animals!"
"At least you would be doing something useful for once." Although he teased, there was no hint of humor in Salazar's tone as he said this.
Consequently, Godric took the accusation at face value. Offended, he stood up from the table abruptly, sending his chair clattering to the floor behind him as he stormed out of the room.
"Godric, wait!"
Helga started to go after him, but Salazar caught her by the arm and gently guided her back into her seat.
"Well, while he may be against slaying them, I dare say your problem with the rabbits will be taken care of shortly," Rowena told her. "Although who knows what he'll end up doing with them..."
Salazar snorted. "He will relocate them all to his quarters and keep them as pets, most likely. Certainly he will give each one its own name, perhaps even tie little ribbons on them, and pet them and cuddle them every day. And gods forbid any of my snakes get anywhere near his precious bunnies or he will have a conniption fit."
Later that day, Salazar passed Godric in the hallway. The latter's arms were full of squirming brown balls of fluff with long, twitching ears.
Upon noticing that someone had noticed him, Godric proclaimed loudly, "You saw NOTHING!"
"Hmm..." Salazar drawled mock-thoughtfully. "I'd say that 'nothing' looks an awful lot like rabbits."
To which Godric retorted: "No, it looks like a giant snake monster!"
"Don't you dare bring my basilisk into this!"
"... what."
"What?!"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Too right, nothing. I'll just be on my way then." And, with that, Godric and his armload of wild rabbits continued on their way toward Gryffindor Tower. When he reached the end of the corridor, however, Godric turned to glance back at Salazar - who was watching the other man's harried departure with apparent amusement - and called out to him, "If I find that basilisk of yours, I aim to slay the beast! Make no mistake about that, my friend!"
"That is precisely why I have hidden it from you," Salazar replied, arching one eyebrow.
Godric might be good with his sword, but when it came to a battle of words, Salazar's wit and tongue were a fair bit sharper.
From that day forward, rabbits were no longer a problem in the garden, although a fair few of its vegetables still went toward keeping them fed, since Godric had adopted the lot of them and refused to let them out into the forest to find their own food.
~end~