"Nayumei!" My mother's voice called. A rather stern and unwelcoming one it was. I ran to where she was in the kitchen with my toy squirrel in hand.
"Can't you put that stupid toy down for a minute!" She yelled as she put her glass of wine on the counter. She began to search through her pouch which contained her money, almost as if she no longer saw me there. The only thing that mattered at that second was to find that money.
"I'll try and be back tomorrow," she said suddenly and walked right past me and straight out the door.
My mom turned to alcohol to solve her problems and she even thinks it'll fight off the depression, but nothing seems to last. My father was killed on a mission two years ago and shortly after my little sister had become ill and passed away. I was only six and already pretty mature for my age. But what do you expect? I basically had to take care of myself while my mother ignored me completely. There were some days where it seemed like everything was going to start getting better, but she always ended up right back into her old habits. I grew up in the sand village, but rarely went outside. Yes, I spent most of my time in my room or cleaning the house. My mom didn't let me socialize with the others. I tightened my grip on my toy squirrel as I knew that I was going to be sleeping alone again, yet another night.
I pushed a stool towards the counter and stood on it to reach a soup that was on the top cabinet. It wasn't the most exciting idea of a meal, but at least it was something that I could make on my own.
~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later ~.::.::.::.::.::.~
I heard the kids playing outside and pulled back the curtains to see what exactly they were doing. I didn't have any friends. Well, there was that toy squirrel that never left my side. I looked out again and saw a boy with red hair just standing by watching the others play. Not engaging, but looking, just as I was.
"That boy must be like me," I sighed. I decided to go outside to see if I could talk to him and ask if he'd be willing to play, if not with the others, but with me. Since my mother wouldn't be back till the next day I figured it was perfect timing.
I left my squirrel behind deciding that it would be safer for it to stay in, and went through the backdoor and made way towards the boy. Some kids stopped what they were doing and stood staring at me in surprise. The red haired boy looked up at me and was just as shocked and confused as the others.
"Hey," I said with smile that was meant to warm and welcoming. "Why aren't you playing?" I asked. He just stood there with his mouth open. Some kids started to point and whisper and I felt myself suddenly grow nervous.
"Well… no one wants to…" He began, but was suddenly interrupted by some woman that showed up behind me.
"Stay away from that boy, child!" She yelled as she got a hard grip on my arm and pulled me away.
"He is a monster!" She shouted and the boy was suddenly stricken with sadness again. Sand came from nowhere and attacked the woman as his sadness now turned to anger.
"Leave her alone!" He shouted and then another person intervened and made the sand stop just in time. The man called him, Gaara. The name seemed to stick, and I found myself repeating it to myself. I went back to my house not knowing what to think, but still in amazement of what I saw.
"Why did she call him a monster?" I thought to myself as I thought back to his face and how his eyes read "glad". He looked so confused that someone was talking to him so nicely. As if he wasn't used to such treatment or something. Well I knew better than to assume things about people. I hugged my squirrel tight and fell asleep on the couch waiting up for my mother to return.
~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~
I woke up to a loud bang at the door and saw my mother had collapsed. Just barely did she make it through the door.
"Mom!" I screamed suddenly worried that she was seriously injured. I ran to her side and noticed she was out cold. I quickly grabbed a pack of ice and placed it on her forehead after I noticed she was burning up. I began to cry a little for the fear of losing the only family I had left. It wasn't something that I wanted to imagine, but it was. I placed some pillows under her and began to make some soup.
"When you wake up mom, you'll definitely want some of this warm soup," I said quietly as I looked over at her still on the floor. I only wanted her to get better, than I wouldn't be the one taking care of her.
After it was done, I started to clean up the kitchen, hoping it would put her in a good mood. She always got mad at me for no reason, but I knew she didn't mean it. Or at least that's what I would always tell myself. It was the only way to cope. She lost the man she loved after all, and her little girl. That in itself was enough of weight to place on someone's shoulders. But it was sort of a beautiful love story my mother and father had. My mother used to tell it to me back when my father was still around.
They didn't like each other at first. She thought he was self centered and he thought she was the weakest girl in the village. My mother told me she secretly thought he was cute and would randomly make fun of him because she wanted to deny her feelings, but as they grew up she couldn't help, but be so intrigued by him. My mother worked hard to get strong so he would notice her. Little did she know she had already caught his eye a long time ago.
"Love at first sight," My mother used to say while blushing. So one day they got put into a mission together and acted like they would rather be killed than have to work together. My mother had gotten injured very badly and it looked as if she was about to die, but then he went to her side and begged her to live for him and she did. Shortly after that they confessed, fell in love, and started their own family.
My little sister was only two years younger than me. She was so light spirited and happy all the time. She was born with some kind of sickness and wasn't supposed to make it past a year, but she was strong and lived till four. My mother blamed herself for their deaths. She had a feeling something bad would happen on the mission my father was going on, but let him go anyways. She wasn't home the night my sister had her attack and passed. So she tried to block everything, even me.
"Nayumei!" She shouted as she started to sit up.
"Oh mom!" I walked over to her and helped her up. She looked like she would vomit at any moment.
"I made you some soup," I said kindly. I was eager to hear her tell me that I did a good job for the first time.
"I'm not hungry," She said angrily and then went past me and stumbled all the way to her bedroom.
"But… It'll get cold," I said sadly as I looked at the ground.
"I guess I'm eating alone again tonight," I added as I picked up my squirrel and placed it at the other end of the table. I ended up eating both bowls of the soup. When finished, I looked over at the picture of my father and of my sister.
"I wish you guys were here," I said to myself. "Maybe mom would love me then."
~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~
I heard a tapping sound coming from the window and woke up just after I had fallen asleep on the table. It continued tapping for a few seconds then stopped. I walked over and pulled back the curtains and saw some kids playing in the streets again. But what I didn't understand was where the tapping sounds had come from.
"It's only nine at night, but why are they out right now?" I whispered. I looked over and saw some kids throwing rocks at my window.
"You like the monster!" They shouted.
"What?" I asked. I then went outside to see what they wanted; not really understanding what it was all about.
"You stupid girl!" They shouted and threw more rocks, only this time aiming them at me. I fell down to my knees and blocked my head with my hands. I felt the impact as they hit against my light skin. I could only flinch, but that didn't lessen the pain.
"STOP!" I screamed. Suddenly the rocks stopped and I looked up and saw the kids starting to run away. I didn't know what had happened, but was glad. I looked around and saw the red haired boy standing behind me. It sent a wave through me that I didn't know how to explain, but was glad to see someone on my side. I held back the tears as I examined my bruises and cuts. He stepped back when he saw my blood dripping, which only seemed to puzzle me.
"What's wrong?" I asked, shocked at what he was doing. He placed his hands on his head and started to walk off. Like he was sick or something, the urgency was written all over his face.
"Wait!" I shouted and I reached out to him so he could touch my hand. He stopped and only stared at me. The same look that he gave me before.
"Gaara…" I said quietly as an attempt to calm him down. I remembered the last time I saw him and how sand had come out of nowhere, but then that man made it seem like Gaara used the sand to attack. I had heard stories about it, but never thought much about it.
"Nayumei!" My mother shouted suddenly.
"I told you, you are not allowed outside of the house!" She yelled angrily. She looked over at Gaara and gasped. Then she became even angrier as she repeated what that lady had told me. To stay away.
"Get inside now!" She shouted even louder. I stayed put and examined Gaara from head to toe. I didn't understand, he was just a kid like me. Why did everyone treat him so badly? It was only because of that that he got angry at them. I saw the sorrow in his eyes, and wanted to tell him that I felt the same way. But then he began to walk away as my mother said something that I ignored.
"Wait!" I called after him and he turned around once again to face me.
"Thank you," I said with an attempt of a smile. His eyes widened and he only stared silently, as I stood back on my feet.
"NOW!" She shouted again. I quickly ran into the house, but looked back once more at the red haired boy before my mother slammed the door.
"Why don't you listen!" She yelled and shoved me. I fell to my side as she started to cry. I stayed silent and stared at the ground as she left to her room with her hands placed on her forehead.
"She's been drinking as usual," I said bitterly and brushed myself off. I examined my face and noticed the gash on my cheek that had still been bleeding. I started to rinse my face and then held a napkin against it for awhile, not knowing what else I could do for it. I knew better than to ask my mother for help.
"Why does everyone fear Gaara?" I asked myself as I continued to examine my face in the mirror. My green eyes were red and watery from crying earlier. I then redid my brown pigtails and went back into the living room to rest.
~.::.::.::.::.::.~ A few minutes later~.::.::.::.::.::.~
My mother went into the kitchen and mumbled something to herself. I watched silently until she began throwing glasses everywhere. I sat up only watching as she soon stopped then fell to the floor and began to sob.
"I don't want to live like this anymore," I whispered to myself as I grabbed my squirrel and went to my room. My mother called my name again and this time I ignored her and locked my door. After a few times of calling she finally stopped. I placed my head between my knees and hid in my closet just incase she tried to get in. I left the window open so it looked as if I snuck out. A few moments later, she threw a glass at my door and then I heard the front door open. She slammed it and I knew she had left again. I went back into the kitchen and started to clean the mess she made and left behind.
~.::.::.::.::.::.~ The next morning~.::.::.::.::.::.~
My mother must have came back in the middle of the night and then passed out on the couch. Her eyes were red from crying. I rubbed my eyes before noticing there were suitcases packed by the couch.
"Mom?" I asked. She lifted her head and then sank it back down.
"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. She shook her head and told me to quiet down.
I started to prepare a wet rag to place on her head and saw she was already sitting up. She looked pretty sober right then. For a few moments we both didn't say anything. She only stared at the ground as if she had become lost in thought. Suddenly she stood, and grabbed a hold of the suitcases before looking over at me.
"Are we moving?" I asked suddenly feeling a sense of urgency.
"No," She said wearily.
"Are we going on a trip?" I asked. She shook her head and put the cases by the door. She then went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea.
I sat there patiently wondering what the suitcases were for. I watched her drink her tea and observed how the depression made her look so frail. She then rinsed her cup and smiled at me. It was the first time she smiled in a very long time; it almost seemed sincere.
"Thank you Nayumei," She said in such a tone that I hadn't heard in awhile. It was calm and meant to be soothing. "I'm sorry I was a bad mother," She added as she picked up her suitcases and opened the door.
"Mom where are you going?" I shouted and stoop up, then slowly began to walk towards her. Her expression changed and she remained silent at first.
"I promise I'll be back," She said.
"Promise?" I added. I tightened my grip on my squirrel.
She nodded and headed out the door. I sat in the middle of the living room and waited for her to return. She never came back.