Just One More Day
"Thank you. Yes I will. Bye. Jason grit his teeth as he spoke to Doctor Gordon in an attempt to remain calm and polite, but as he hung up the phone the anger building inside of him reached boiling point. Unable to regulate his breathing and alleviate the vice like pressure in his head, Jason stormed into the kitchen where his parents and Seth were sat in relative calm enjoying their breakfast. Ignoring their morning greetings, he stood inches from his dad's face and bellowed, thumping his fists on the table. LIAR! Carl remained passive. He didn't even blink. I spoke to Doctor Gordon; Jason clarified for everyone's benefit. He didn't say I couldn't have the blockers."
"Not this again."
Seth mumbled under his breath as he struggled not to role his eyes at him. Jason was completely clueless about the pressure he was under to 'do the right thing' and keep their family together. They had grown so far apart they barely spoke more than two words to each other these days. Jason shot him a death glare and not wanting any part in the conversation his mum left the table.
"I've told you you're not ready. It is the day before your brother's wedding can we discuss this later?"
"Discuss what? It is you with the problem not me."
"We need to know that you are sure."
Carl was clutching at straws and he knew it, but how could he tell him he really doesn't understand what he is going through.
"I am dad. I can't live like this anymore. I want to start transitioning."
"You need to wait till your body is physically ready."
"It is. Doctor Gordon told you if you start my treatment now the risks are minimal."
"Pills are reversible."
Seth interjected casually, this time receiving 'the look' from his dad.
"How do you know you won't wake up tomorrow and decide you got it wrong and you want to be Jasmine?"
It was then Jason realized why his dad had been thwarting his attempts to get the blockers.
"This isn't some kind of phase, dad. I'm not going to wake up and change my mind."
"I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I can't help you with something I don't believe you want."
"It is what I want. You don't want it, you mean. Don't do this, dad."
"I can't give my consent for you to take those pills."
"I will get them with or without your help."
"You can't you have to be eighteen."
"There are other ways and means."
"Listen to him dad. Seth pleaded. If they are that important to him-"
"I know what I am doing. End of discussion. We have your brother's wedding to concentrate on."
"You do. I'm leaving."
"You're going nowhere."
Carl grabbed his arm to hold him back.
"Jason, don't."
Despite their recent lack of communication Seth had been counting on his twin brothers' support to get through the fiasco of an event without any major dramas.
"Let go. Fuming, Jason stormed to his bedroom. Just watch me then. He emptied the contents of his entire wardrobe into the wheelie travel case they use on their annual family vacation. 'Not going anywhere. I'll show him. Can't wait to leave this dump. I hate dad. Stupid Riyle. Stupid wedding.' KNOCK KNOCK. WHAT?"
"Jason, it's me. Seth stuttered. Can I come in?"
"I guess. He mumbled. I'm still going."
He shouted the last part.
"Like hell you are."
Carl shouted back in response.
"We'll see. Jason mumbled as he slammed the door in his dad's face. What do you want Seth?"
He seated himself on the edge of Jason's bed, whilst he continued throwing clothes and wash things into the case at random.
"Some support would be nice."
Jason fought every growing impulse to knock some sense into him and instead settled for sarcasm.
"Back at you, bro."
"I tried to help you, but dad's-"
"A prick."
"Something like that. They shared a knowing smile. I don't want anything to do with this freak show either, but it's Riyles day so I am doing it for him."
"You're the best man. I am the embarrassing family secret."
"It really isn't like that Jase. We are all worried about you."
'Believe that you'll believe anything.' "If you were all that bothered you'd get me the blockers and you'd understand why I can't go tomorrow."
"You need to see things from Riyle's point of view. If you don't turn up he will be gutted."
"Seth, do you have any idea how hard I have tried to fit in so I am not seen as some kind of freak? But if my own dad won't let me be who I want to be, what chance have I got?"
"None if you leave. You need to be here to get him to change his mind."
"You heard him. He thinks it is a phase. It will be better all round for everyone if I am not there to embarrass you tomorrow."
"Except for Riyle."
"He won't even notice."
KNOCK KNOCK
"I beg to differ."
"Jason? Seth? Can I come in?"
"You called him?"
Jason tried to hide his surprise and delight that his brother had bothered to take the time out to come and see him, when he was undoubtedly busy.
"Yeah. You should have seen the text he sent dad. Unhappy doesn't even cover it. He really cares."
Jason didn't doubt that for a second, which is why he felt so guilty about considering missing his big day.
"Guys. Hello. Open the door."
"Talk to him. Seth stood aside, allowing Riyle to enter and take up his seat on the bed. I've got somewhere to be."
"Thank you."
Jason whispered to his retreating back.
"So are you going to tell me or am I meant to guess?"
Riyle pointed at the suitcase.
"I can't do it anymore Riyle. I need those blockers."
As he spoke, the tears he had been suppressing for moths threatened to overwhelm him.
"I get it. You want to be a boy. But all I want from you, as my younger brother is to be at my wedding to have a laugh and celebrate with me."
"But dad-"
"Speaks before he thinks. He'll come around. I'll talk to him for you. Jase, you have some real guts. How many other sixteen year olds would have put themselves through what you have been through? Come to my wedding and be yourself. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, you are my brother and it doesn't matter to me. Think about it."
He lay back on his bed and put in his ear plugs to drown out the heated argument Riyle and his dad were currently having.
'I can wait, just one more day.'
Was his final thought before he dropped off to sleep.