I was always the black sheep of the family. I was magnificent with the sword and I loved the color blue so much that I took dye to my light brown hair and dyed it till every strand was this beautiful blue. I always had a thought that I was meant for something more than just staying behind the castle walls. When Duncan came by Castle Cousland, I was on edge, ready for adventure. Alas, my father went against sending his youngest and his only daughter out to battle with the Grey Wardens. He told me I had to look after the castle for him while he was out fighting the Darkspawn.
That night, my wish for adventure came true but not in the way I wanted it.. I never wanted my adventure like that. An old friend of my father's, Arl Howe, betrayed my father and had his men murder my nephew, sister-in-law, father, and mother. I fled with Duncan out of the secret passage in the pantry and to Ostagar. I was filled with so many emotions but I didn't know how to communicate how I was feeling, but I had to abandon my thoughts of Howe's head on top of a spear. I was a Grey Warden recruit and there was no time for vengeance when there was a Blight to be stopped.
Not only did I get the adventure I so desperately wanted, but I also met someone who would change my outlook on the concept of love and marriage. His name is Alistair.
Funny how when I first met him, I knew we were gonna get along just fine because I found his sassing a mage pretty… Entertaining. I just stood there and listened to him try to talk to the mage, but the mage seemed very frustrated.
"And here I was going to name one of my children after you… The grumpy one."
Let's just say with that ridiculous conversation with that mage, I became intrigued with Alistair and felt some kind of connection with him.
When Duncan sent us out to retrieve blood for the Joining and the treaties, I wanted to stay as close to him as possible. Even when we met Flemeth and her daughter, Morrigan, I felt the need to be near him to feel safe.
I got my chance with that when we had to light the beacon and fight along beside each other with my Mabari named Ares. Alistair and I talked in between our encounters with the darkspawn, and the next day when we found out we were the last two surviving Grey Wardens in Ferelden.
After that time, I gave him a shoulder to cry on and a friend he could trust. Even with our growing party and going all across Ferelden; I made time just to talk to him.
I remember the day he approached me, when we were heading to Redcliffe and he told me of his royal blood. Being around him made me grow an even better since of humor so I called him a "royal bastard." Which, to my surprise, got a small laugh out of him.
After we finished business with the Arl and the Circle, he approached me at camp and asked me if we could go find his sister, I told him we would and within the next few days, we traveled to Denerim.
The encounter with his sister… Didn't quite go as he planned and I felt for him. Once she kicked us out of her home, I look at him and told him "everyone is just out for themselves."
Even if he was a man, he had the personality of a clueless child and after I said what I said, he seemed to have… Grown up.
Within the next few days, our bond seemed to grow stronger and as I was talking to him, one day, he pulled me close and our lips touched, moving in sync with each others'. It didn't last too long because he pulled away.
"I hope that wasn't too soon…" He said, his head tilting towards the ground. That's when I took his face into my hands and smirked.
"I don't know. I'll need more testing." That's when he leaned down, a bit, and we shared another kiss.
Everything else about that particular week and night was such a blur, as were many of the other weeks but the nights I remember are the ones that made me forget we were Grey Wardens fighting the fifth Blight.
One particular night is when he came to me with a beautiful, red rose in his hand and held it out for me to look at.
"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?" I took a look at the rose he had in his hand. He seemed nervous so I decided to break his nervousness. With a hand on my hip, I smirked and smarted off with "Oh? Is this your new weapon of choice?"
Alistair was not hesitant to reply to my smartassery.
"Yes! That's right!" A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent." He brought the rose up to his nose and sniffed it; I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "Or, you know, it could just be a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison."
"Well, sentiment can be a pretty potent weapon." I stated, still trying to contain my laughter.
"Is it that easy to see right through me? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I picked it in Lothering."
That's about the time I wanted to interject and say "That's why I couldn't find you when I said we would meet in the tavern after collecting supplies." Alias, I didn't because I wanted to hear what he was going to say.
"I remember thinking 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I know I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since." Alistair said with a troubled look on his face. My urge to laugh died and so I spoke with a soft tone.
"That's a nice sentiment."
"I thought that I might give it to you, actually." He paused for a moment and rubbed his neck with his free hand, holding the rose out to me. "In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you." I felt my cheeks heat up but I wasn't about to turn my gaze away from him. I took the rose from him and I held it close to my chest.
"Thank you, Alistair. That's a lovely thought." It was one of those moments I forgot the Blight was going on and I was thankful for those moments.
"I'm glad you like it.." Alistair sighed and shook his head. "I was thinking, here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy. I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all of this… darkness."
I could actually feel myself falling harder in love with this goofball with every word he had just spoken to me, at this point of time. I had to say something to break this depressing atmosphere, once more, I didn't want him to fall apart.
"So…" I took a hand and flipped some of my blue locks off my shoulder. "Does this mean we're married now?" Alistair let out a laugh and folded his arms over his chest.
"You won't land me that easily, woman! I know I'm quite the prize, after all, no need to start crying on me or anything." I jutted out my lower lip in a playful pout.
"I guess that was… A stupid impulse.. I don't know, was it the wrong one?" I closed my eyes for a brief moment and shook my head.
"No, it wasn't. Thank you so much, Alistair." I opened my eyes back up and looked up at him.
"I'm glad you like it. Now, if we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it." And that's where my jaw dropped in my mind. He said what now. Oh, two could play that game.
"Sounds good. Off with the armour then." My lips tugged into a smirk and I took one step closer. He started to laugh once more and I moved my hands to rest behind my back.
"Bluff called! Damn! She saw right through me!" I pursed my lips together and tilted my head to the side a tad bit.
"Why must it be a bluff, love?" I tried to have a cutesy, seductive voice to try to convince him to ease up and not be so nervous.
"Well, I suppose we are in the camp. The tent's right over there… This is true." I could tell he was still nervous and I felt a wee bit bad for him. I knew I was his first lover and I felt like, at the time, was trying to pressure him into wooing me. That is not what I wanted to do.
"You know you're so cute when you're bashful, right?" I took one step closer and ruffled his hair up. He immediately backed up, his face rose red.
"I-I'll be." He let out a nervous laugh and kept backing up until he was a couple feet away from me. "I'll be standing over here. Until the blushing stops. Just to be, uh, safe.. You know how it is."
I remember rolling my eyes, turning my back side to him, and swaying my hips as I walked to my tent for a good night's rest.
The next morning we were heading to Orzammar but we ended up in the middle of an ambush, thanks to the assassins Loghain had sent after the remaining Grey Wardens. Once all the assassins lay dead, I remember the leader of the pack, Zevran, begging for his life in order to join our cause. Maker curse my heart of gold, because I spared the Antivan Crow assassin sent to kill us. Alistair wasn't too happy with my decision, so when we reached the Frostback Mountains, I pulled him aside to speak with him.
"Alistair, I am sorry. But there are just the two of us and we need all the help we can get.." I bit down on the inside of my cheek. You could say I was afraid to lose him over this act of pacifism.
"I get it. But you just let the person that was hired to kill us into our little party. What says he won't try to take us out in our sleep?" I bit down harder on the inside of my cheek to the point I could taste my own blood. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"If he tries anything, we can take him down, easily. There's more of us than there is of him. Besides, we took down all of his men with an ease. How difficult can he be?" After I finished my statement, I spit the blood over to my side.
"I suppose you're right, Novella." He reached over and cupped my cheek with his cold-gloved hand. "I don't want to lose you or anyone else. But I trust your judgement." I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.
"Alright, lovebirds. We have dwarves to convince to join our little "army"." Morrigan scoffed and I opened my eyes, taking a hold of Alistair's hand, walking to the gates of Orzammar.