Karkat saw it; the small piece of Gamzee that would sometimes snap. In a moment of fear he tried to rush towards the door, but he had barely made it a foot before his hand was forcefully grabbed. Karkat tried to wrench his hand free from the hold but Gamzee was so much taller and stronger.
The feelings jams were becoming so much more violent, but Karkat still stuck around. Gamzee needed him. He needed a morail.
Gamzee's grip tightened and Karkat was tugged closer, his body slamming against the larger troll's solid figure. Gamzee grabbed his other hand and bent his face lower until he was about level with Karkat. His eyes glowed a fierce red.
"Motherfuck!" Gamzee screeched and gritted his teetch.
Karkat felt tears well up in his eyes as Gamzee's grip loosened and tightened. He seemed to be internally conflicted about his actions. Maybe he didn't actually want to harm Karkat.
A dark veil floated above the Capricorn's head, and he audibly growled. Pulling Karkat over to the horn pile, it seemed as though he had made his decision.
"No! Stop! Gamzee! Shoooooooooooosh!" Karkat tried desperately to sooth his morail, but his shaky voice only hastened Gamzee's pace.
Gamzee threw him onto the horn pile, "Gamzee… I-."
"Shut the motherfuck up!" He gripped the bridge of his nose as if in concentration. His facial features softened a bit. One of the horns beneath Karkat honked.
Gamzee's gaze traveled to the offending noise and then up to the face of his best friend.
Karkat could already feel bruises coiling around his wrist. Shifting his weight to cradle the stinging hand he accidently honked a few more horns.
This seemed to enrage Gamzee who snarled and grasped Karkat's protein chute, claws digging into his flesh.
"G-Gamz-Ack!" Karkat choked out his best friend's name. Gagging, tears running down his face, Karkat silently chastised himself. You let him down. You don't deserve to be his morail. You let everybody down.
Karkat brought up his hand to Gamzee's. Lightly he patted at the hand encasing his throat, making gentle papping sounds. His lips could no longer make shoosh noises as he was running short of breath, but the sudden intimate, and yet small, gesture caused Gamzee to release his hold.
The red in his eyes faded away and he seemed to have mellowed a bit. He looked down at his hands. Droplets of purple liquid were splattering them. He was crying.
Karkat hacked and coughed until he found himself spitting up blood. Turning to Gamzee, he watched, wide-eyed as the troll, who was probably two heads taller than himself, fell to his knees and wept. He hugged himself and shook with sobs, "I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to hurt-," he looked at Karkat, eyes begging for forgiveness, tears smearing his face paint further.
Karkat knelt beside Gamzee and threw his arms around him, "It's okay. I know. I'm here."
The gentle shoosh papping continued until Gamzee went quiet. He turned his face away, staring off into nothing, "I'm going into hiding again."
"…"
"I think it will be for the best, motherfucker."
"I know."
"I'm sorry that I'm the worst motherfuckin morail and best friend a motherfucker could have."
Karkat snuggled into his morail, drinking in as much of his scent as he could before he disappeared for who knew how long, "That's not true. If it weren't for you, I'd have no one to talk to. I'd just be arguing with myself in those shitty memos. I'd go insane if you weren't here."
Gamzee chuckled darkly, "I can't even reciprocate that motherfuckin sentiment. I'm already insane."