hi
it's been a loooong time since I've published anything here (coughLIABILITYcough), but after diving back into fic writing this past summer, I felt it was only fair to bring my stories back to where they all began. As I began to map out and rewrite the last stages of Liability (which has yet to be abandoned fyi), I realized I wanted to explore other characters and pairings to better understand the way I had been writing certain things. So this happened. Also, I lowkey think StarX is cute as hell.
river IS complete. New chapters will be posted every couple of days, after I've combed through and edited any mistakes that may remain.
A few things to note before y'all dive in, uhhhh, inspired by the hook from a song by Eminem, and also by my ridiculous desire to start new stories instead of finishing my WIPs. Post-Tokyo, sans kiss. Ft. Robin-moments and allusions to robstar, but if you're here for wholesome robstar content, look elsewhere bbies. Or stick around for the epilogue. You might (?) like what you see...
As always, I invite critiques, requests, and reviews - gimme the good/bad/ugly.
enjoy the ride,
zrc
[part i]
i've been a liar, been a thief
been a lover, been a cheat
all my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
well, little one, i don't wanna admit to something
if all it's gonna cause is pain
truth and my lies, right now, are falling like the rain
so let the river run
| river, eminem ft. ed sheeran |
I did it for the look on his face.
Man, you should've seen it. I think he might've stopped breathing. It only lasted for a moment, but damn, it was funny. Then he started throwing punches. She was pink and dazed, but she managed to wiggle out of the red bands that strapped her to the wall. Her fists were clenched, but she didn't look angry. Confused, stunned, maybe even a little curious.
The next bit is mostly a blur - I was distracted, preoccupied in dodging his fury, making little comments that only irked him more. I glanced over at her a few times. She was distracted, not really making a move to catch me. He was too busy dealing with me to notice that the only teammate at his disposal was a bystander.
Bird Boy knew my moves well. He landed a few nasty hooks, his steel shoes connecting with my chest once or twice. We were too evenly matched to make the fight come to a clean end. He anticipated the toys in my belt, from the x-shaped shurikens to the scarlet rubber bindings I enjoyed shooting so often.
I played the weakness. I glanced at her again, more noticeably, and raised my palms, prepared to strike.
It worked - he turned around and shouted her name, snapping her out of her thoughts. I shifted my aim and fired, wrapping him in thick red cords.
"Robin!" She shrieked, transferring something from her fist to her pocket.
"It's been fun playing, kids," I said calmly, "but I've gotta run."
She was by his side immediately, peeling away the tightly wound bands. He protested, jerking away from her touch and insisting she chase after me.
"Hey, cutie," I called, grinning at the sight of her crimson cheeks, "think about what I said."
I gave them a two-fingered salute and tapped my belt, teleporting to the rooftop of the warehouse we were in. Ordinarily, I'd try to get as far away from them as possible, but I was low on juice and until I replaced the Xenothium in the suit, I'd be stuck making short jumps - too short to quickly escape their field of view.
"What the hell just happened, Starfire?" Ouch, he sounded pissed. Pissed and loud.
I positioned myself flat against the roof, straining to hear more.
"He escaped," she said mournfully, "oh, Robin, I am truly sorry, I was…out of my skull?"
"Head," he corrected, softening slightly, "what did X say to you? Where's the paper he gave you?"
"He merely made another of the date comments," her voice was meek and apologetic. I could picture her twisting her fingers nervously or playing with her hair, "and I… the paper was burnt by my starbolts."
That made me do a double take. She was lying.
"He's an asshole."
"Indeed. But there is nothing we can do about him now, yes?"
He sighed tiredly, "yeah, whatever. He didn't make off with much. I'll deal with it tomorrow. We should head back, patrol wasn't supposed to run so late."
"Robin-"
"Don't worry, Star. I'm fine, just frustrated. You're right, there's nothing that can be done right now."
She seemed to accept this, not fighting back with any words as they exited the warehouse. I scooched closer to the edge of the roof, careful to keep out of view.
"Ride back with me?" He offered.
"Another time," she replied, sounding alarmingly close, "I believe I require a midnight flight."
I turned my head in what I assumed was her direction and - well, shit, there she was, floating with her back to me.
"Suit yourself. Don't be too long, I'll lock down the tower after you've come in."
"Thank you, Robin." She turned and looked straight at me, lips pressed in a thin line.
I made a move for my belt, stopping when she shook her head. It was such an imperceptible movement, I was certain I had imagined it. But I obeyed anyway, waiting for the sound of the bike revving and speeding off into the night, until we were enveloped in silence once more.
She landed beside me and hoisted me up by the front of my suit, pushing me onto my feet. I stumbled back and shot her a glare.
"Ease up, cutie."
"You do not get to speak to me in that manner," she seethed, reaching into her pocket to retrieve a crumpled up piece of paper, "I will give you ten seconds to explain what this is before I throw you into the harbor."
I shrugged, "it's exactly what it looks like."
"I do not understand. Even you are not stupid enough to give me-"
"My phone number? Stupid, no, interested, yes. Don't try tracing it, you won't get anywhere." This wasn't entirely true, but I was pretty confident she'd believe me.
"What did you hope to accomplish with this?"
"A date," I said cheekily, "or a chat. I'll be walking away from here with at least one, that's for sure."
She frowned, "I am still confused."
"Me too, actually, why'd you lie to your boyfriend?"
She blanched, turning away quickly.
"He is not my boyfriend." She muttered.
"Nuance," I said smoothly, moving to stand beside her, "you still lied."
"Would you have preferred I allow him to attack you?"
"Well, no, but I'm surprised you took my feelings into consideration."
She shook her head, "it is not that. I am trying to understand you, and I do not think involving Robin would be of any help."
"Oh? What do you wanna know?" I moved closer to her, praying that she wouldn't crush my bones if we touched.
"Why do you do this, X?" She asked quietly, turning to face me, her fingers still clutching the scrap of paper I'd shoved into her hand twenty minutes earlier.
"I can't help it if I like you, beautiful."
She blushed and stepped out of my reach, shaking her head, "I am not referring to the flirting. I am referring to…the facade. The persona. X, you are capable of so much."
Ohhhhhh, fuck. This was not where I wanted the conversation to go. Honesty was dangerous territory for me.
"You think too highly of me," I said quickly, crossing my arms.
"I do not think that is true," she replied, "you are strong and clever and you have aided us on several occasions. You could be a great asset to the Titans if you-"
"I'm not interested in being recruited, cutie," I shot back flatly, "I'm a thief. I do what I want, when I want. That's all there is to me."
"You are wrong. I know there is more."
"You don't know me."
That shut her up. I felt bad, but not enough to take back what I'd said. I wasn't wrong. She had no idea what she was talking about.
"Then let me."
What?
"Excuse me?"
"Let me know you," she said firmly, leaving no room for argument, "you have been persistent about taking me on an outing. I will go on a date with you, if you allow me the chance to truly know you."
I shook my head, thankful that the mask hid my eyes which were probably the size of dinner plates.
"No way, cutie, you're crazy."
She shrugged, "perhaps I am, but I will not leave you with much of a choice. You will take me out on a pleasant excursion and allow me the opportunity to get to know you better. In return, I will not inform Robin of our conversation tonight, or give him this-" she brandished the slip of paper triumphantly.
"It's a dead number anyways," I lied, "go ahead, he'll probably be more pissed at you anyways."
Her eyes narrowed, lips curving into a smirk.
"You underestimate Robin. And you underestimate me."
I had to smile at that, "Cutie, I would never underestimate you."
"Marvelous. Then I shall contact you via this number to arrange an evening for our date. I would appreciate it if you cooperated, but it is not necessary, because this will happen either way," she said briskly, rising into the air.
"One question," I said, definitely not getting caught up in the sight of her long red hair flowing in the cool night air, "why are you doing this?"
She smiled slightly, "I believe in chances and goodness. Consequently, I believe you deserve to have and be both."
"No, no," I shook my head, "I meant the date."
She blushed again, "conceivably…it could be fun."
With that, she was gone, her exit accented by a bright green streak in the sky.
X'hal, I must be insane.
Raven certainly thinks so. I told her what I had done - used Red X's affections for me against him. She feels it is a terrible idea. I do not disagree.
I find him to be intriguing. He has proven himself to be worthy of the Titans time and time again, saving us, assisting us, often choosing to help rather than run. He claims his motives are his own, and perhaps they are, but I truly feel there is more to it.
To be clear, I am still very confused by many of his actions. I do not understand why he has chosen crime, nor do I understand why he flirts with me. I am not even sure the flirting is genuine.
Humans are such complex creatures. They err more often than not. Matters of honor hold great weight with some and no weight at all for others. Actions are coupled with intent to determine consequence.
Humans also veil their emotions. They feign kindness to disguise malice. Conversely, they can act cold to hide affection. I have seen it often with Robin.
Tamaranians are the opposite. We are compelled by our soul and our strength. We pride ourselves on our ability to feel, and express our feelings through touch rather than verbally. I have become quite accustomed to the various displays of physical affection humans utilize. High-fives and the bumping of fists in congratulations. Hugs for comfort, friendly kisses on foreheads and cheeks, sometimes hands as a means of being silly or flirtatious. Mouths with romantic intent. This, I find rather foreign.
Raven suggested, rather hesitantly, that I might have agreed to Red X's request because I have been feeling lonely and I enjoy his attention. I know she did not mean to insult me, but I felt slightly affronted. Mostly because I could not disagree with this observation either.
I have long given up on Robin. Tokyo put a distance between us, an uncomfortable bubble that neither of us have been able to break. He is still my friend. I still love him. But I am tired of waiting.
Red X has always been amusing to me, though I try to hide it for Robin's sake. I do not need his flirtations or compliments, but I certainly enjoy hearing them. It fills me with a strange sensation that twists in my stomachs and makes my heart work a little faster.
Thinking about it now, I realize accepting his offer may have been too bold of a move. I do not know where we will meet or what we will do or how we will dress. I have no alibi prepared, though I am sure Raven will allow me to use her as an excuse. I doubt Red X will tell me anything of true value. He may choose to use this date as an excuse to 'put the moves on' as Cyborg would say. It could very well be a wasted evening.
But, if anything, I do think it will be fun.
[end of part i]