Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own Inuyasha or any of it's characters besides mine. All of their asses are property of Rumiko Takahashi and if I were her, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction, now would I?
Title: A Reason to Exist
I declare this my first official fanfic in about, oh I dunno...3 years or so. My other ones were absolute crap so they don't count. I just hope this one doesn't fall into that category one day. ^^;;
Please read and remember to review!!!
Italics – Flashback
'italics'- thoughts
Note – This first chapter will include original characters, so to those who complain "Where's Inuyasha???" Don't worry, the characters you all know will be coming shortly.
~*~*
Prologue: Damaged
Rain hit against the window glass. The low rumble of a storm could be heard from a distance. A pale hand rapped against a hard wood door.
Ayame moaned softly as the sound of knocking reached her ears, disturbing her sleep. She tiredly rubbed her eyes and rolled over in her bed, glancing at the big bold red numbers of her digital clock. '4:20... Who the hell could be at the door at this hour?' She groaned, lifting the dark green comforter over her head.
"........"
knock, knock, knock
knock, knock, knock
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
To her dismay, the persistent knocking only grew louder as she laid there, in the comfort of her warm bed, waiting for it to stop. She breathed out another frustrated groan. 'How fucking annoying...' She pushed the comforter out of the way, getting out of bed. "Son of a bitch...."
She reached out in the dark for her robe as thunder clapped outside and lightning illuminated the small room. She pushed her arms through the sleeves and walked out her bedroom, the old floor boards groaned under her feet with each step. She then descended down the stairs into the small quaint book shop her family had owned.
Her mother had passed away about a year ago leaving the 19 year old to run the shop on her own. She admits that it does get pretty lonely living all alone since she had passed. She was the only family she had. Her father had passed years before and she once had an older sister, but she had been sent away when she was very young, so her memories of either were very vague.
Being the mousy bookworm she was she didn't have much of a social life. Sure, she had a small circle of friends, but there weren't many men in her life. It wasn't that she wasn't a pretty girl. She had glossy midnight black hair that ran down the middle of her back, soft tendrils framed her fair face and her long bangs often fell into her eyes. Cerulean blue eyes were usually hidden behind thin framed glasses. Her body wasn't much to look at, she wasn't completely flat but she wasn't exactly very busty either. She was a pretty average girl. She had boyfriends before, but at the moment she was as single as anyone could be. But it would be nice to have someone to be there for her, so she wouldn't be so lonely. Someone to fill the empty space in her heart.
Yeah...that sounded nice.
She walked through the wide aisle of books, the book cases casted long dark shadows across the walls which only turned more opaque as lightning lit up the room every couple of seconds. She glanced around the dark shop. 'Yikes, I never noticed how creepy it was down here....' . The knocks continued to echo across the shop.
Ayame wondered what it could possibly be that the person wanted from her. Seeing as they were so persistent in trying to get her attention and the hour of night, she could only assume the worst. It had to be an emergency. Had something happened? Maybe an accident or maybe someone close to her had landed in the hospital. Or worse... She hoped not.
As she approached the door, she glanced through the display window to see if she could make out exactly who the disturbance was. Her vision was blurred since she didn't bother to put on her glasses on her way out and the darkness of the night didn't seem to help either. Though, she did make out a tall figure waiting in front of the shop. Most likely a man. He seemed to have a bundle of some sort cradled in his arms. This only caused Ayame more confusion.
She closed her robe further around her and pulled open the front door. She looked up at the tall young man before her and stuttered. "C-can I help you?"
The first thing she had noticed about the man was his eyes. His eyes seemed to be a dull amber color and were filled to the brim with emotion. They held feelings of remorse and anguish. Eyes of a broken man. Rain water streamed down his face, droplets dropped off his chin. She suspected that the rain was mixed with his own fresh tears. His pained eyes only made Ayame worry, thinking that maybe she was right and something terrible did happen. The man's short light hair was plastered to his forehead due to the heavy rain. His white shirt clung to his skin showing off almost every detail of his well toned chest. She noticed very light red maybe orange stains streaming down the wet fabric, being washed off by the rain. Blood, maybe? She wasn't too sure.
She saw his eyes study her intensely, taking in every detail of her face then lowering down to her body for a moment before traveling their way back up into her crystalline blue eyes. He stared into her eyes with a lazy half lidded gaze. To her, it almost seemed lustful. His lips parted and he let out a soft sorrowful moan. She blushed. His intense gaze made her feel uneasy and she wrapped her loose fitting robe further around her. She turned her eyes away from his honey orbs. As she did this he heard him sigh softly. 'What's with this guy? Why is he here?'
Cautiously, she reached out to him. "Are you all right?...Are you hurt?" The young man looked into her worried stare with still eyes and remained silent. She swallowed hard. "P-please, come in. You should get out of the rain..." She walked backwards into the doorway, giving him enough space to enter. He didn't move.
She looked at him questionably. 'What's his problem?...' She took a step forward. "Hello? Can you hear me?" She waved a hand in front of his still face.
But just as soon as she raised her hand, his own hand seized hers. Strong fingers wrapped around her wrist. Her breath hitched in her throat and she cried out in surprise. "N-no! Let go!" Her heart thumped hard against her chest as a sudden panic clouded her thoughts.
She attempted to jerk her arm away from his grip. But he kept still and the fingers around her wrist tightened, she felt his nails cut into her flesh. "Argh!" She winced in pain. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!? Let go of me!" She continued to twist her arm violently. "What the hell do you want from me!?"
She screamed and snapped her face up to his. She then felt his other hand seize her throat and completely cut out the flow of oxygen from her lungs. She clamped her eyes shut, tears forming at the corners as she scratched her nails at the offending hand that's depriving her of precious air. She glared, but the intimidating look in her eyes soon melted into awed shock. The sad remorseful golden orbs she had looked into before had transformed into an enraged icy blue. The whites of his eyes, a deep bloody crimson. His mouth was twisted into a dark scowl and glistening fangs she had never noticed before flashed at her menacingly. Looking into those eyes, she felt a sudden chill run up her spine.
'W-What the hell....?'
She suddenly felt herself being jerked backward. With a small scream, she stumbled and fell onto the cold sidewalk. Her head cracked against the wet pavement and she laid flat on her back. She felt the sharp pain at the back of her head. Letting out a soft moan, she turned her head to the side, feeling herself slide in and out of consciousness. Though, she didn't feel her world immerse in complete blackness. The crack of her head against the pavement wasn't hard enough to knock her out completely.
She opened her eyes slightly and focused them on her wrist. Four bloody crescent shaped marks decorated her skin. The rain water made her wound sting, but she decided to ignore it for now. She sat upright and put her hand to the back of her head. She winced as it stung even more intensely than the one on her wrist. She brought her hand back forward for her inspection and saw it coated with fresh blood. It wasn't too surprising. She groaned weakly as she tried her best to numb herself of the stinging pain at the back of her head.
Ayame then remembered that the man who had nearly killed her just now was only a few feet away. Without another thought, she quickly scrambled to get herself up and away from her mad attacker. She kicked her feet against the wet pavement, struggling to push herself up, but then paused when a deep voice reached her ears.
"I-I'm....I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry..."
She looked up.
His body was hunched over and his hands were clamped over his head. His body rose and fell in time with his gasping breaths as he tried to control himself. He looked down at the ground, eyes wide, his pupils moving about with a sense of fear. She then noticed that his eyes were no longer the frightening ones she had just peered into, but their original amber color. He was no longer the vicious monster who nearly killed her, he was, once again, the scared broken young man she had first seen. With this realization, the fear that clutched her heart quickly disappeared.
The young man continued to gasp out, catching his breath. He closed his eyes tight, hearing his heart beat audibly in his ears and his fingers clutched and pulled at his damp silvery white hair. He then shuddered harshly and slid his hands down to his face.
"No......"
"Please...no more...."
Disturbing memories that had been pushed back so deep into the dark recesses of his mind slowly started to creep their way back into his thoughts. Memories of blood, hatred and pain started to replay themselves in an seemingly endless loop before his eyes. It was ever so slowly bringing him to the brink of insanity as he suddenly started to thrash his body back and forth, nearly falling onto the cold pavement under his feet. "AARGH!" He let out a fierce cry, the mental anguish he was experiencing becoming far too real for him to bear.
Hurtful words started to fill his brain, he could almost feel the pain like venom seeping into his skin with every lashing word that crossed his thoughts.
You disgusting mixed breed!
Ugly monster!
Murdering bastard!
Murderer
Murderer
MURDERER
He pulled at his hair and screamed out loud. "Stop it! Please..No more! Stop!" The man cried and thrashed, throwing his body about as if trying to physically throw his thoughts out of his head. But almost as instantly as his uncontrollable madness began, it was soothed by a gentle female voice that broke through the madness in his brain. His movements began to slow and his hands went limp against his head. A series of simple sweet memories started to play before his eyes, which caused his muscles to relax and his mind to go into a tranquil calmness.
"Maybe it's because I like you..." She smiled softly and laughed at his stunned expression. "What? You seem surprised..."
"I love you..Ryou. More than anyone else in the world."
"I'll be with you no matter what happens..Just don't ever leave me behind." She giggled as she took his rough calloused hand into her softer more gentle one. "Cross your heart, okay?"
He pulled his hands away from his tussled hair as his whole body relaxed with the memory of the girl's sweet voice. He then furrowed his eyebrows as he brought his hands to his sides, clenching them as his own present thoughts made their way through his mind.
'Che....right...
How could she have ever had feelings for a monster like me...?
She would have been better off without me.
She was the only person who's ever accepted me since then.
I didn't deserve her...yet she came to me.
She said she needed me, when it was really me who needed her.
I'm the weak one.
Maybe if she had stayed away...she would be happy somewhere..instead...
i-instead of....
That stupid bitch....
You stupid bitch!'
His eyes fluttered to a close as if in silent prayer. He then murmured softly to himself in an inaudible whisper. "Kyoko...."
He stood up straight, fists still clenched at his sides and turned toward the open doorway where the bundle he had been carrying now laid. Cerulean eyes followed his movements and then focused their attention onto the bundle. It was a little girl. She couldn't have been any older than 5 years old. Her head poked out of the dark blue blanket that had been wrapped around her. Strands of light brown hair were plastered against her forehead and delicate curls peeked out the damp blanket. Droplets of water slid down the sides of her face and onto her closed eyelids. She seemed to be in a deep sleep. Her round cheeks were flushed, probably from the cold.
Ayame looked on with curiosity as the mysterious young man knelt over the sleeping girl and softly kissed her forehead. He raised a hand to stroke her soft flushed cheek and spoke softly to the child. "Kimiko...I'm sorry you had to see what happened... I'm sorry for all the sadness and pain I probably caused you." His voice cracked slightly. "T-that I couldn't be stronger..." He hesitated and continued "I can't take care of you anymore, Kimiko. I wouldn't forgive myself if you were put into danger because of me. You're not safe with me...." His lips grazed her cheek softly. "I love you, Kimiko..."
He stood and stepped away from the girl. He stared at her with heart broken eyes for what seemed like forever. Then, he sharply turned away and walked out into the sidewalk, his pace quick.
Ayame raised a hand, reaching out to him, and yelled out to his retreating figure. "H-hey! Wait!"
He stopped in the middle of his stride and stood under the bright glow of a street light. His back still turned away from her, he shifted his head to the side and spoke out his words clearly to her. "I trust that you will take good care of my daughter, since I am obviously incapable of doing it myself. I'm sorry for bothering you. Good night, Ms. Yoshida."
He continued on his way. Ayame's eyes followed him until he finally disappeared around the street corner. 'How does he know me?' She turned her head and looked on at the sleeping girl leaning against her doorway. '...and how does he expect me to just drop everything and take care of some kid? I can't take care of a child. I can't even keep a hamster alive for more than one month.' She inwardly groaned. 'Why me?'
The entire ordeal completely confused her. What just happened? As she pondered this, she remembered how his eyes had transformed from a lovely golden into icy blue orbs drowned in a sea of blood. The mere thought of them made her shudder. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind.
She pushed herself off from the pavement and walked to the doorway. The blood loss from the wound at the back of her head made her slightly light headed as she awkwardly stumbled over. She then knelt down and picked up the sleeping child, cradling her in her arms. She then remembered the girl's father muttering her name as he spoke to her. "Kimiko...." She brushed her bangs to the side with her hand. She suddenly felt small fingers clutch her robe.
Kimiko's lips parted slightly and then she muttered in a weak quiet voice. "Papa....."Ayame noticed her eyelids were still closed. 'Is she still sleeping?'
Her words seem forced out as if they were trapped in her throat. "Papa...." Ayame stared at the girl sympathetically. "Yes, sweetheart?"
"...Is mama gonna be okay?"
~*~
Well, this was my first chapter guys, actually the prologue. I hope it wasn't too boring. ^^; It'll get more in depth later on and don't worry, Inuyasha and his pals will be coming momentarily so don't get your knickers in a twist, kay? ^^
Constructive criticism will be appreciated. Thanks :]