A Letter Unread Unsent

A Bleach Fan Fiction

by Xincliere

XX – XX – 20XX

Ichigo Kurosaki,

I know you'll never read this letter. Like all the other ones I've written but never sent. But today makes me feel melancholic. I went to the real world today and stopped by your place. You weren't there but I took a stroll anyway. The school, your house, the lake, the ice rink and every place we've been to, I've visited it again today.

I must be getting old.

All I remember are the good times and how I wished I could go back. But the choices have been made and everyday I'm glad that I've met you. Because you changed my world.

Thus, this letter is addressed to the one who changed the world.

And everything about us.

Remember the day you first met me? I still remember the look on your face.

You were awed by me. Yes. But then you kicked me and that changed everything.

Remember when you asked how you can save your family?

Your face full of raw determination. I admired you. I was awed by you.

But then you stole my powers and that started everything.

You and I became partners in crime. I think we forged a bond since the day we met because it never felt out place when you and I are side by side. Even the bickering we had are dear to my heart. I cared for you like I've never cared about anyone. You treated me like an equal and that was what I've wanted the most. Who would've have thought I'd receive such a gift from a human no less.

But those days were really fun when you were just a human boy who stole my powers, and I was just an unseated soul reaper. We tread on this earth, two people trying to save the world.

Remember you told me you can't just ignore people who needed saving right in front of your eyes? And that you'll save a mountain load of people not just those whom you can reach.

Believe me or not, you were my hero.

And that is so cliché.

But now, things have changed haven't they?

It seems like you and I will be living different lives now.

No more fighting hollows side by side. No more hearing you snore as I lay in your closet. I actually liked your closet. Surprisingly, for the owner to be someone like you, it was warm and cozy.

I wonder who broke away. Was it me who stayed in Soul Society? Or was it you who stayed in the real world?

Remember that time when you were a bloody mess after fighting with Grandfisher. For honor. For pride. For your mother's sake.

I still remember the pit-pat of the rain. The cold ground beneath as I held you in my arms when you collapsed. I felt your beating heart and I was so thankful you were alive.

I held myself back because I know you needed it. Even though it almost killed me not helping you.

I cursed my powerless self. Even though I know it's your fight but I hurt when you hurt.

I was so glad to feel the beating of your heart. The sky was crying and so was I. I can admit that now. It was because I was so relieved you were alive and still warm in my arms. Always know that, always, I need you alive no matter where you are. Now that I think about it, you might have been my very first best friend.

But now everything has changed. We weren't who we were, young and ready to take on the world and save it through our own two hands, just the two of us.

Now, it seems like I'll only be the one wearing our soul reaper uniform. And from now on, I won't know how to be something you'll miss.

I once knew when you came charging against my brother. When I felt your reiatsu breaching the barrier confining me in that tower. And I knew when you saved me from execution. And I knew when you fought against my brother for the second time.

I knew when you lost your powers. I knew when you trained to get it back.

But I never knew, we'd end up two worlds apart. Was it your choice? Or was it something inevitable? But isn't that what you've fought all along? The inevitable? To crush fate? I was your blade.

Now, I guess, we'll content ourselves with history with your name forever on my lips as the one who changed me and the whole of soul society.

But I'll always miss you. When you think you're not looking. When I'm doing some paperwork. When I'm training recruits. And when I'm fighting hollows. Sometimes, I wish you're still by my side. Because you were my partner – you were my sidekick actually, during that first days we spent.

I'll miss how you'll save me and all your friends because you always give it your all even your life. But I'll never wish for you to go through that again so I'll take on everything and please live a normal life and be happy.

God, I hope you're happy.

Oddly enough, until today, I still remember how cocky you've always been. Always so sure of yourself…and when you're not, I've beaten you up. For me, you were the life of the party. We always bicker, always get on each other's' nerves but that was what freedom was like for me.

Remember the times you and Renji always compete? Sometimes, you're a show off. Even during fights with hollows or any other enemies we've – you've fought. You can be a show off as long as they don't burst your bubble. Do you know that? I loved every second of it. But that's a secret.

Remember the day you took me to ice skate? You're so dumb. I wasn't talking about going ice skating at all. I've never done that before doofus. I was talking about having a normal life. Never worrying about hollows or being in danger. And I guess…you have that now.

Honestly, at one point, I wanted that with you.

Anyway, you pulled me in. Held my hand with your warm ones. It was really warm even though the ice rink was cold. But you were warm. You are warm. I'd dance on ice for you and the remembrance of your warm hands will pull me through.

You were like the sun to me, still is.

Because I loved how you faced my brother with no fear and the whole of soul society for me. You are such an idiot, risking your life for me. But you gave me a refreshing start of life. It was like I woke up under the shade of a tree and the sun's rays were shining through it bathing my whole being. I loved it. It felt like breathing for the first time. Not because you fought my brother, but because you changed everything of my life on that day.

People think you're unapproachable because of your permanent scowl. You always looked like you don't care about a thing in the world. But actually, I loved how you walk with your hands in your pocket leaning into me to talk to me. And then there was you announcing Yuzu's task for you to buy ingredients for curry. It was so…mundane…so normal and I love that, too.

I love how you interrupt…okay I actually hate when you interrupt me and ask why my drawings suck. But there's not a day since that day that I don't miss those little things about us. About you.

Because whenever I look at you. I always miss you. Because you're not mine. And neither am I yours.

It's so frustrating when I think about what-ifs. Because there is only this lifetime for this you and me.

But now, we've changed. You've chosen your path and I've chosen mine.

I probably won't ever know if you miss me on cold days. If you miss me on sunny days. If you miss me during fall. Or if you'll miss me on rainy days.

I actually thought you loved being a soul reaper because you were born to be one. Oh, I know for a fact you did. You did. Still, there are circumstances that lead you to give up and let it go, let us go, let me go. And no, I don't blame you for it. For the what-ifs, if you've become permanently one or still a substitute because I never wished anything for you but to live a happy and normal life.

Now, its history. You and I and our story. And the fact that you changed me.

So I hope you'll live out your years until the day finally comes when no one and nothing can hinder you to become what you are, and what you will always be.

So like I used to when you lost your powers, I'll watch you from the distance from our friends that I've kept in contact with. I'll even see you on occasions even if it makes me bleed to death.

I'll watch you in pictures as I feel you forget me with your every breath. Though I hope that doesn't happen because I hope you won't let anyone alter your memory of me. Because we've always meant more to each other than any other person could mean.

And always, always wherever you are, I'll protect the peace you choose for the sake of both of us.

I hope it's not raining there.

I hope it's a beautiful day.

And when something reminds you that make you wish you had stayed, I'm hoping it isn't too late.

All those years, I never thought you'd change your mind.

Now, everything has changed.

We've gone our separate ways.

Two worlds apart.

And I thought I was your blade.

I never thought you'd let go of me when you wished for me so badly.

Now all we have is a heroic history of an unseated soul reaper and a powerless human boy that changed the course of history.

P.S. I hope you remember the words I never said…

P.S.S. And when you wished for a blade again, remember I'll always be here…

Forever yours,

Rukia Kuchiki

A/N: You can read it with Taylor's Swift's last kiss as the background music. I used to place the lyrics but it seems like there are copyright issues so I removed them.

This is my reaction, my rant, my rage and anger, and my sadness with regard to Bleach's ending.

ETA: Re-uploaded.