Junkmen from space
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Psst! Negaduck 9 over at Deviant art com! I swiped the idea for this story from your "Ducky Horror Comic Strip". Did YOU ask permission from the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" people?
Since Disney will not bring back Ducktales (since I don't like video games, the video game doesn't count) and drop the "Launchpad is a moron" routine, I will continue to write Ducktales stories and keep my money in my wallet. I'd prefer to BUY such stories, it's easier...but they won't cooperate.
Somewhere out in space, an alien spacecraft made it's way thru space looking for junk. That's how they made their living: they salvaged space junk and sold it.
They were passing Earth when they saw the old decrepit man-made satellites orbiting it. They saw that some of the satellites were oblivious unused and unusable and that their orbit would eventually decay and they would fall out of orbit like Skylab did. So they started harvesting the old falling-apart satellites for their metal, their wiring, the technology...
The aliens expected somebody to try and stop them, to make them pay for the junk they were hauling...something. Nothing happened, nobody objected. So...they started to take satellites that looked abandoned as a matter of personal judgment.
This led to some bickering among the aliens. Some felt if WE didn't care if they took our satellites, why should THEY? Others felt it wasn't right to take them without asking, without compensation. So those of the latter opinion landed a small spacepod on Earth to ask permission.
Dawn came to Duckburg. "People" quickly noticed that a "castle" was standing on what had been, last night, an empty lot. An empty lot belonging to Mr. McDuck.
Mr. McDuck asked Launchpad (because he was there to ask) to help check out this castle.
So Launchpad flew Mr. McDuck to the "castle". They took a copter because Mr. McDuck wanted to check the place out thoroughly before entering.
"Weird looking castle. Tall, compact and thick windows." Launchpad said.
"How could somebody build something that big so fast? There was nothing there yesterday!" Mr. McDuck wondered. "If I could find out how they built it so fast, I could make a fortune!"
After circling a few times and checking out the castle as much as they could from the outside, Launchpad landed the copter and they headed to the front door.
Mr. McDuck pounded on a round-est door with his cane, since their was no doorbell.
"Why do you suppose the door is such a weird shape? And why is there only one door? And the windows are similarly shaped, only bigger!" Launchpad asked.
"Why are so worried about how this castle looks?" Mr. McDuck demanded.
"There is something familiar about how it looks! The windows look like huge portholes, the door looks like a door in a submarine...we've been to lots of castles. You ever seen one anything like this before?" Launchpad asked.
"No, but there's never been a castle in Duckburg before either!" Mr. McDuck snapped.
Just then, the door opened...but nobody was on the other side of door. Launchpad hummed first the theme song of the "Twilight Zone" then the theme song of the "The X Files".
"Knock that off! So it's an automatic door! Big Deal!" Mr. McDuck screamed.
And Mr. McDuck charged into the castle. Launchpad followed.
Nobody was around except them.
"Hello? Olley Olley Oxin freeze!" Launchpad yelled.
Mr. McDuck tried not to laugh.
"Hello? Anybody home? We wish to speak to the owner of this castle!" Mr. McDuck asked.
A large two legged cat walked into the room.
"You are natives to this place? We wish to speak to whoever is in charge of this place." Large cat asked.
"The mayor is out of town. But I'm Scrooge McDuck, the richest duck in the world. What I say goes, especially in THIS town." Mr. McDuck replied.
"This does have to do with money. Perhaps you will do. There are old satellites orbited Earth we wish to buy. However, there are also new satellites still in use. We do not wish to harvest the wrong satellites." Largecat stated.
"You possess the technology to get the satellites?" Mr. McDuck said. " We can put them up there, but we can't really get them down when they break."
"Mostly because it costs too much. " Launchpad muttered.
"I am an alien from another galaxy. We are junkmen, we collect abandoned junk and sell it. We saw your satellites and I'm afraid we already harvested the old, falling apart ones. " Largecat admitted.
"When nobody tried to stop us, we began to harvest ones that were also old...but perhaps still in use. I and my friends objected to this. We were not sure those satellites were useless. We were afraid we were stealing. I was appointed spokesman to come to Earth and speak about this, to see if we were doing any harm or not." Largecat said.
"You say you lack the technology to get the satellites down?" Largecat asked.
"It costs too much for us to bother." Mr. McDuck confirmed. "But they are still ours. You shouldn't take them without asking, especially since they might still be in use. "
"Wait a minute..you guys have ALREADY removed some satellites that might STILL be in use? That could cause all sorts of trouble!" Launchpad warned.
"I am also afraid some of my fellows may still be harvesting satellites. We asked them not to because we thought it was wrong to take them without permission. However that might just encourage them to them while we're down there." Largecat said.
"Sounds like people are people no matter what galaxy they're from." Launchpad sighed.
About this time, Webby saw the castle, got curious and entered. Huey, Dewey and Louie saw her enter and concerned for her welfare, followed her.
Hardly did they enter, did the whole castle shake as if there was an earthquake going on. They ran for one of the windows to see what was happening. They peered outside to see the whole castle rise into the air. The "castle" was a spacecraft.
Elsewhere within the "castle", Launchpad and Mr. McDuck were making the same discovery.
"Where are you taking us?" Mr. McDuck demanded. (1)
"Why, out in space, of course." Largecat replied "How else can we stop my fellows from stealing your satellites without confronting them?"
Soon, our heroes came upon the other Cat aliens (henceforth referred to as the Catliens.)as they were about to break into a WORKING satellite.
"STOP! That's a functioning satellite! You'll upset all sorts of stuff on Earth if you take it down!" Launchpad yelled at them, via the radio.
Launchpad didn't know if the satellite controlled GPS signals, or was a weather satellite or a TV satellite or what. Nor did he know how to explain GPS, weather forecasts or satellite TV to aliens.
The Catliens were tempted to pretend they didn't hear him or didn't understand him. They stood to make a lot of "money" from the material in this satellite. Huey, Dewey and Louie came out of hiding and grabbed the mike.
"That's OUR satellite! You're stealing!" screamed Huey, Dewey and Louie, via the radio.
Webby came out of hiding to join them. Webby grabbed the mike to put her two cents in: "Aliens are supposed to be all about rules! You're breaking the LAW!"
That did it. The Catliens could pretend to think the satellite was abandoned, but being basically honest little kids yelling at them shamed them.
Just then, a meteor streaked across deep space..
"Ah! If only we were permitted to mine THAT!" the head Catlien sighed, without intending to say so out loud.
"Who's stopping you?" Launchpad asked.
"Eh? You mean nobody has a monopoly on mining "shooting stars" here? Where we come from, the right to do so is exclusive owned and we don't dare breath on them!" head Catlien said.
"How's about a deal, then? You mine the non-functioning satellites, we'll tell you which ones and sell materials from them to us. You can also mine all the "shooting stars" in this star system and sell materials from them to us." Mr. McDuck proposed.
The next thing you know there was an impromptu business conference was going on. The Catliens emerged with the right to mine "shooting stars" in this star system. They repaired any functioning satellites they had damaged, they even fixed malfunctioning satellites they hadn't touched before as their way of apologizing for dismantling our satellites without our permission.
Soon, the Catliens were dismantling unused satellites and selling us materials from them. They also caught "shooting stars" and sold us materials from them. This meant we no longer had to worry about a decrepit satellites or meteorites hitting Earth- we hope.
The End.
1) You DO know that despite myself I like that tough old buzzard, right?