Family Bonds.
It was strange in a way, that in life when a woman married out that she barely would hear from her natal family anymore until they, eventually, became a mere memory-but in death, whilst a woman did retain loyalty to her husbands family, due to the nature of death its self, we were not reduced to being traped behind our husband's door like good luck crickets, but free, as ancestors to wander the after world, visit the pavillion to look into the living world and reunite with family both close and distant, meet those we may have only heard of in passing, or even make new friends and aqquaintances, all of which I had done as a hungry ghost and now as a ancestor, and a highly honoured one as that, I had even more freedom to pay visitations.
Wu Ren had yet to join me in the after world, and as anxious as I was to see him, I wished Yi no grief at having her widowed so young. Death would never end true love and now-as a ancestor, I found I could wait without angiush, though lack of anxious did not null my ancticpation at my reunuion with my beautiful poet.
I had other reunions to quell my loneilness, and it a way, they filled a hole in me that not even my poet could fill. As a Hungry Ghost I had been so caught up in my own lamentations and injuries that I hadn't allowed myself to be as affected as I would've been had I been a ancestor all along, to my parents angiush. I had managed reconcilltion with my mother, who died when I was still roaming, but it was the guilt that for so many years I had turned against my father, who I had, in life adored-only to find I had been mistaken and I had remained a precious pearl to him for his entire life time, far after my death.
Mama told me after I arrived in the after world, that after my ghost marriage there had been a change in him. The grief that had haunted him relaxed as his spirit finally realized he had done for me the right thing and that my soul, whilst no longer part of the Chen family would always have a connection to him because he had finally done his fatherly duties to me even after my death. If death could not seperate love, then why should marriage cut away family ties?
When my commentary was published he was amongst the first to purchase not one, but several copies of the book, and he would pour over my words. I had written them in order to live on for Wu Ren, but I had also lived on to Baba through them, and they had been his comfort until the very end of his life, one year after I finally became a ancestor.
"Peony, I am so proud of you." He spoke words he always says several times in my presence, but of which I never tire of hearing.
"Ba..." I looked at him now, as he sat with me on the Moon viewing pavillion. With the fame my commentary reached and the honour I brought to both the Wu and Chen family, I was more well provided for then even Baba and Mama and could share the good fortune with them, as well as show gratitude to my family still in the living world.
"I always blamed myself for your death, wishing despite my knowledge of your senstive nature, that I had listend to your mother and not spoke to you of qing so often, but after I've read you commentary, I who always wondered about the inner realm of women, was finally brought as close as man can come to, to going inside and you knowledge of the matter of qing so far surpassed mine and showed me a world I would have never known-that many would never have known. You may have died young, but you will live on in history forever, far pass I or Bao or any man in the Chen family. Even with the emperor's attempts to thawrt women's words, your commentary will survive on through the ages just as women's desires to be heard will never be silenced."
"Ba, you may have blamed yourself for my death, but it was only because you allowed me a love of lititure in the first place that my memory will live on for eternity." I touched his hand, thanking him, he smiled, tears in his eyes as he shared in my joy at this simple fact. How wonderful that father and daughter should be united in their joy-a joy that was real, one that would last forever. "Because you were the one who allowed me to feel such deep qing in the first place, you and I will always have a connection even if I am part of the Wu family. I will never forget all of the lessons you have thought to me, or what you made possible for me to accomplish."
"I will also never forget the lessons you have thought to me." Baba closed his eyes, smiling peacefully in a way he had never done in life. In many ways the afterworld frees the heart of many sorrows, but also creates many new ones-but I had suffered enough for 29 years as a hungry ghost, and I intended to make fullest of all joys in the afterlife-seeing my natal family, getting to know the Wu ancestral family as well as the Chen ancestors; spending time with Grandmother and of course mother-and Baba as well whilst I wait for my beloved poet and Yi. Zi had been quickly reincarnated, having been bought out of hell, the afterworld truly desired no place for her and for her selfishness in life and as a punishment dealt out by the Ancestors of the Wu family for having killed Ren's first son and trying to kill his second, had been reincarnated as a rat. I felt sorry for Zi, but a mother who would kill not only their husband's child but one of their own body-and a first son at that-it took more then pity to absolve one. It was judged that for all of the years she furthered my suffering by driving me into self exile when I had already suffered so greatly, that she would experience a life time worst then the last-how one could go lower then a rat, I dread to see.
My Grandfather suffered in hell still, but my father, though receiving some minor punishments had been spared any of the hells, for he had always only acted in the best interest of his family and never from selfishness. How he had valued my mother and then how he valued me, a "useless" daughter even so many years after my death, he was, thanks to my mother, a honored guest of the Chen Family's women's chamber. I had gone to visit Mama and Grandmother there, and I enjoyed speaking to all of my natal ancestors as well as the ancestors of the Wu family.
I loved all of them.
I learnt from all my struggles that all forms of love was important, and I was determined to not waste any precious time I had with either of my families, and to make the fullest of each moment so I would not regret my afterlife as I had my ill fated life. As Mama had told me, "no more regrets".
"Baba, there are always more lessons to learn, lets read together again as we always use to."
"Yes, but I have a feeling you will be the teacher more then I." He smiled at me with pride, and took me by the hand. It was only when death came that you truly realized the importance of family, and I would never let mine go again, even when my beloved came to stand by my side, Mama and Baba as the ones who made me who I am, would always be a part of me, and unlike in my short life, in the afterworld, I would keep them a part of my daily life until the day they were fated to return in new forms to the world of the living.
Maybe one day, far into the future we would all be reincarnated once again as family. No-I should not say maybe-because I am sure we will be.