So this might have already been done, but oh well. I switched some of the words around, and instead of four 'normal' guys, I only used three. I was inspired by http:/ .com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=If+Sam+Were+Gay# /d2f1zua O'course I wanted to write it to If You Were Gay...I might just do that next (even though that too has probably been done already). Also, I do not own Supernatural or this song. ...obviously.
Dean and Sam had just gotten done talking to the victim's mother. They knew that whatever tore the guy apart was their kind of thing, but there was still research to be done. As soon as they got back to their motel, Sam opened up his laptop and connected to the motel's wifi.
"You know," Sam started. "We probably wouldn't get very far without the internet." He stared at the screen thoughtfully. Dean grunted at him from the bed, beginning to clean his gun.
"I mean, our hunts would probably take a lot longer..."
"Sam," Dean stared hard. "What are you getting at?" Sam stared at him, smiling.
"The internet is really really great," Sam started singing.
"For porn," Dean added in. Sam paused and gave Dean a bitch-face.
"I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait," he continued.
"For porn."
"There's always some new site."
"For porn."
"I browse all day and night." Sam was doing his best to ignore Dean.
"For porn." And Dean seemed to be enjoying himself.
"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light," Sam sang through his teeth.
"For porn!" Sam glared at Dean.
"Dean!"
"The internet is for porn!"
"Dean!" Sam was becoming frustrated.
"The internet is for porn!"
"What are you doing?"
"Why you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn!" Dean took on a smug look.
"Dean, will you shut up?"
"Nope," Dean replied, grinning from ear to ear.
"You are ruining my song!" Dean was on the end of another bitch-face.
"Sorry, Sammy." Dean wasn't sorry.
"Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?"
"Me no talkie," Dean said, trying to sound cute.
"Good," Sam said, throwing one of the pillows at Dean before continuing. "I'm glad we have this new technology."
"For porn!"
"Which gives us untold opportunity."
"For por-yikes, sorry." Still wasn't sorry.
"Right from your own desktop." Sam was starting to look defeated, but kept on anyway.
"For-" Sam glared at Dean, stopping him from finishing the line.
"You can research, browse, and shop." Sam paused shortly, waiting for his brother's line, but nothing came. He grinned, thinking that prehaps Dean had finally given up. "Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!"
"FOR PORN!" Dean exploded.
"DEAN!"
"The internet is for porn."
"Nooooo," Sam said, moving his computer off his lap.
"The internet is for porn."
"Dean, seriously-"
"Me up all night honking my horn to porn, porn, porn!" Dean's hand gestures made Sam roll his eyes.
"Jesus, Dean. You're a pervert."
"Ah, sticks and stones, Sammy," Dean said, smirking.
"No, really, you're a pervert," Sam said, annoyance clear as day on his face. "Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet." Dean stared wide-eyed at him. Sam and him both knew that they were FAR from normal, but Dean could roll with it.
"Ohhh?" Dean questioned him.
"What!" Sam was bitch-facing hardcore now.
"You have no idea." Dean opened their motel door and yelled at a few people that were standing by the pop machine. "Ready normal people?"
"Ready!" All three called out. Sam was officially confused. Were these people listening the whole time or just creeps?
"Let me hear it," Dean shouted, dragging Sam outside with him. "The internet is for porn," Dean and the three people started singing.
"Sorry, kid," one said as they danced by Sam.
"The internet is for porn!"
"I masturbate," another yelled. Sam grimaced.
"All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!" Dean was in the middle of the small group.
"The internet is not for porn," Sam tried to yell above them.
"PORN, PORN, P-"
"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Everyone stopped and stared at Sam quietly. He looked at one and said, "I bet you check your portfolio and check your stocks online, yeah?"
"That's correct," the man answered, nodding his head.
"And you probably buy things on ," Sam said, pointing at the tallest guy in the group, though still shorter than Sam.
"Sure!"
"And let me guess," Sam said, staring at the last one. "You sell your possessions on EBay."
"Yes I do," the man said enthusiastically. Sam looked proud of himself.
"Oh but Sam," Dean started, chuckling to himself. "What do you think he does after? Hmm?"
"...yeah," one of the men muttered.
"UGH!" Sam's frustration was at maximum.
"The internet is for porn," they all sang again.
"Gross!" Sam started to walk away.
"The internet is for porn!"
"I hate porn," Sam turned and yelled at them.
"Grab your dick and double click!" Dean grabbed Sam, and forced him into the group.
"I hate you guys!"
"For porn, porn, porn!" They all smiled and looked at Sam. "Poooorn, poooorn!"
"I'm leaving," Sam said, storming his way back to his and Dean's motel room.
"Porn, porn, porn, porn!" They were getting into it.
"I hate the internet!" Sam yelled before slamming the door shut on the scene outside.
"The internet is for, the internet is for, the internet is for porn!" Dean made a big finish and looked around for Sam, expecting applause, curse words, something. Sam was nowhere to be found, though. "Sammy?" He walked over to the door to their room and tried opening it. Locked. He pounded on the door. "Sammy, let me in!"
"No! Go watch your porn somewhere else!" Dean rolled his eyes. Sammy could be such a princess sometimes.