Disclaimer: Any of this that you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling, and the real five steps were made by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, so that part belongs to her.
Before I start, the real five steps were made for getting over losses, and I don't want anybody offended by my use of them this way.
Five StepsChapter One: Realization
Because Muggles do not have any direct way of fixing emotional and physiological damage, they often resort to psychologists or psychiatrists. These translate roughly into a very basic healer, and while scorned by most of the wizarding world, they command a great deal of respect in their own fields. They have developed different ways to cope with situations and loss without magical aid. For example, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a well-known Muggle psychiatrist, invented the Five Steps for coping with loss. These steps are…
The sound of breaking pottery woke Lily up from her Muggle Studies textbook. Looking around, it was clear what had happened. A few tables away the entire Slytherin table was either trying to scramble under their benches or run to the protection of a different house. The jugs of pumpkin juice were exploding, spraying shards of ceramic and fountains of the sticky juice. One boy, in particular, was drenched head to foot. Lily almost cracked a smile at the sight of Severus Snape, but just rolled her eyes when she realized who had started it.
"Excellent work Prongs! I have to say, my idea worked even better then I had hoped!" Sirius Black, who was (unfortunately) sitting across from her, burst out laughing and started slapping the boy next to him on the back.
"Your idea? If you care to remember, I thought up this one. The pure genius that is dungbombs timed to explode just so is too far beyond you I'd say." This was James Potter; Lily's archenemy, Lily's curse.
The boy on the other side of Potter gave a short laugh and pushed Potter off the seat. "As if you could've thought that up. I must say I am the brains behind the Marauders." Remus Lupin laughed as Potter climbed back on the bench, then pushed him off again. He had dark circles under his eyes and was very pale, and looked like someone had recovered from a nasty bout of flu. But then, he never looked healthy. Lily worried about him, and probably would've been his friend if he hadn't already been hanging around James.
A small, rat-like boy opposite Remus gave a high laugh. "I think I deserve the credit. After all, who planted all the dungbombs? Me, of course."
Sirius snorted. "Can it, Peter. Like that is worth anything."
Lily plugged her ears and tried to blot out their conversation. …invented the Five Steps for coping with loss. These steps… After reading the same sentence half a dozen times, she slammed it shut. "Can't any of you be quiet for just one moment!" She glared at the boys. "I know none of you care about your education and the NEWTs, but I, at least, want to do well."
"Aw, come on Lily. Your saying you don't see any humor at all in this?" Lily's best friend, Alicia, gestured at the Slytherin table. Most of the teachers were frantically trying to stop the continuing explosions, but some were just sitting at the Head Table, trying not to laugh and spit out their lunch.
Lily frowned at the girl who sat next to her. "You too, Aly? You too are consumed by this…" She waved wildly at the Marauders, at loss for words. "…this cesspool of corruption and ignorance?"
James tried to look offended. "Cesspool? You better watch what you say. Someone might take offense to such talk."
Next to him, Sirius grinned. "Someone's been a busy bee. Been reading the dictionary, eh? You'd better stop before you choke on one of those big words."
She tried not to scream in frustration and annoyance. "Some people," Lily said, and slammed her heavy text book on the table, "care about their NEWTs!"
Aly sighed. "Lily, tomorrow is Christmas vacation. The NEWTs aren't for another six months! Stop worrying. Especially about Muggle Studies. You are, after all, muggle-born. If you need to worry, worry about Transfiguration. Though I'm sure there are plenty of tutors willing to help you…" She trailed off and winked at James.
He beamed, knowing that it was his best subject and Lily's worst. "I'd be perfectly willing to help you. I was going to make a study guide for Peter anyway, and I could help you with some of the tougher spells. C'mon, it would be—"
"Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew! Report to the Headmaster's office at once!" Potter just smiled and he and the rest of the Marauders got up and walked out of the Great Hall.
"Me accepting help from Potter is about as likely as me and him having a kid together," Lily mumbled to herself as she picked up her books and finished up her dinner.
"Come on, Lily, why don't you give him a chance? You know that he's changed a lot. He's not mean anymore, and he really likes you. Even you can't ignore that." Aly knew, as did the rest of the school, that James had liked Lily since their fourth year. She also knew that Lily was as stubborn as a mule and held grudges for longer than most people held friendships.
"Aly, James Potter is an insufferable prat, and I want and never will want anything to do with him. Even you can't ignore that." She smiled as Aly rolled her eyes and then shouldered her book bag. "Now lets go or we'll be late for potions."
"How can we be late if we leave half an hour early?" Aly grumbled to herself as she picked up her books and followed her friend.
Potions was nearly over when the Marauders walked in; Peter looking angry, Remus looking chastened, Sirius looking bemused, and James oddly enough (in Lily's point of view) looking thoughtful.
Ms. Levingstons, the potions teacher, could do no more than frown at their yellow pass. Lily knew she would give anything to punish the four boys who were constantly harassing her house. Except make sure that the Slytherins received points for everything and anything they did.
"An excellent potion Snape, ten points to Slytherin. Ah, and Mr. Avery, exceptional work. That'll be another ten points."
Lily gritted her teeth. While Snape might be the best in potions in all of Slytherin (and as much as she hated to admit it, the best in the school), Avery was abysmal in Potions and the only reason he wasn't failing was because Ms. Levingstons constantly marked up his grade for things like 'admiral dicing of his shriveled newts.'
Soon enough the bell sounded, and Sirius let out an obnoxiously loud cheer at the sound that signaled the start of the Christmas holiday. The students shoved their way of the classroom, but Lily stopped a few steps out the door as she struggled to shove her potions book into a packed bag.
"Lily, er… can I talk to you for a moment?" She didn't take her eyes away from her books, knowing who had said it. Just my luck, she thought. You take to much time and look what happens. You get cornered into talking with Potter when you've got your hands full. "What is it Potter? In case you haven't noticed, I'm in kind of a hurry here. In fact I have to go, now."
She started walking down the corridor, away from James, but he followed her.
"It won't take long Lily, I swear."
Lily started at the use of her first name, and stopped to look at him. He looked… she couldn't put her finger on it. Merlin's beard! she thought. James Potter is actually nervous, and while talking to me, of all people!
"Lily, you know that everyone's leaving tomorrow morning for the break and—"
"Yes, Potter, I am fully aware of the fact that the Christmas hols are starting. I was hoping you wouldn't waste my time."
He blushed, making her glare at him. "Well, I, er, know that you're staying here, at Hogwarts, for the holidays because of well, you know…"
Her glare narrowed. "What, can't you say it, Potter? I'm staying at Hogwarts because my parents were murdered by Voldemort! Have you come to shove that in my face now?"
She knew that she had gone to far. "Look Lily, you're not the only one who has lost their family."
Lily looked down, feeling guilty. His parents had been killed a few weeks before hers; just after they came to school in September. Pressing her lips together, she didn't say anything.
"Well, I just wanted you to know I'm staying here too. So is Sirius. I figured you'd already assume, but I didn't want to give you a start when you realize you're trapped in the tower with two prats like us."
She smiled, pleased and surprised by his humility. What are you doing Lily? This is James Potter, he is not funny, no matter how nice he acts or how sweet he's been for months…. No Lily, stop thinking that way! Giving herself a mental slap, she returned to her normal expression around Potter; frowning.
"And I was thinking, Lily, that these few days could either be torture, for both of us too, or it could turn out alright. So here it is; a peace offering."
He pulled his wand out from his pocket, and murmured something under his breath.
Lily stepped back, saying, "James, you'd better not hex me or I swear I'll…"
James shook his head, a light smile on his face. He handed something to her and walked away, turning the corner.
Feeling apprehensive, she looked down at what he had placed in her hand.
It was a perfect, white lily.
Resisting the urge to crumple it and throw it away, she placed it carefully in her bag. She started the long walk back to the Gryffindor tower, all the while wishing a certain someone hadn't given her so much to think about.
Sitting in the corner farthest from the Marauders (who were currently throwing some fireworks in the fire) Lily bent down over her Ancient Runes essay, trying to concentrate. Tirafel Tirwag was an important researcher of Ancient Runes because… an important researcher because… She stared blankly at what she had written so far, the subject and the name.
Aly was sitting next to her, and it was only loyalty to Lily that kept her from leaving and joining the crowd of boisterous teenagers that had started to swarm around James, Sirius, and Remus.
"Aly, I can't take this anymore! Why are they so idiotic that they can't realize that some people would like a little peace and quiet?"
Aly sighed. "You know, you're lucky I'm you're friend, or else you'd have no one else to talk to when you go on one of your homework rants. You know, people say 'oh Lily's so nice, she's so laid back.' Ha! If they knew what you're like now…" She muttered to herself, shaking her head. "Besides, you wouldn't be saying anything if Potter wasn't in the middle of it.
Lily sputtered, but couldn't think of anything to say back.
"It's the Christmas holidays, why can't you just let it go once? Why are you talking to me anyway? If you've got a problem with them, talk to them?"
"Excellent point."
"No, wait Lily. I wasn't being serious…"
Pushing her way through the crowd, she put her hands on her hips. "Can't any of you be a little bit quieter?"
"C'mon Lily, it's the start of the hols, why can't you let the people have a little fun. Besides, why can't you study in the library?" James asked, and for a moment, Lily felt a little silly. He did have a point, after all.
"But I can't study there, and do you know why? Because someone flooded the library and transfigured half the books into frogs!"
Sirius laughed. "Oh yeah, forgot about that. Ah, that was a good one. Should've seen Snape when a frog jumped on his head. Then he wet himself!" Sirius was bent over laughing. "The frog I mean, though I wouldn't be surprised if Snape did too!"
Everyone laughed at this, but Lily just grabbed her books and climbed up the stairs, first to put her books down, then to take Aly up with her.
Sitting down on her bed, Lily began to sort her books into neat piles. "Okay Aly, I was thinking you could help me with Herbology, you're the best in the class and I'm only thir—"
"Lily, you're killing me here." Looking up, Lily saw the expression on Aly's face, one of complete boredom. "Please, kill me now."
Feeling suddenly guilty, Lily swallowed hard. "Aly, I'm really sorry. I know you'd rather be down there with… them." She struggled and almost managed to keep the loathing out of her voice. "It's just…"
"Lily, why have you been so obsessed with studying lately? You weren't even close to this crazy when we took our OWLs. I've never seen you like this before. Is there anything you want to tell me? You know I'm your friend, right? I can talk anytime you need to…" Aly's voice was low and worried.
Lily bit her lip and stared at the floor. Shaking her head several times, she gave Aly a mangled smile and picked up a thick packet of papers from her bed. "I knew that you might want some help in exchange for helping me, so I took the liberty of making up a Charms review. Basically it's a summary of the highlights of the notes from sixth year till now. I found this great book in the library too, and there's a lot of cross references from there with the things that the Charms textbook emphasized…"
She went on rambling to herself as she pulled out several more things from her book bag. Aly groaned inwardly. The things I do for you…
Pulling out her planner and a sheaf of blank parchment from her bag, something tumbled out that had been lying on top of it. Lily grabbed for it, but Aly was faster.
"Lily, where on earth did you get this from??" Aly held the lily in her hands, and looked at her friend in pure confusion.
"Nobody, it, err… doesn't matter." Good lord, I'm stuttering like a two year old. Grabbing the flower back from Aly, she shoved it in the drawer of her nightstand.
"Lily, did someone give that to you?"
Giving Aly a glare she gritted her teeth. "I said, it doesn't matter, okay?"
Sighing, Aly took the review from Lily's hands and idly flipped through the packet. "You know Lily, some of this must be from fourth or fifth year, because I don't remember any of this. Let's see, never seen this one, never even heard of this one."
Lily looked at the page she was at. "Oh, the Confession Spell? That was in Modern Spells for the Modern Wizard. They said it was often used in testing, and I found it in a footnote from fifth year, so I added it to the review."
Aly rolled her eyes, then read the description that was neatly written on the page.
"The Confession spell can be used to force the person it is cast on to reveal a hidden thought or memory. However, the thought or memory is revealed only inside the person's head. For best results, couple this spell with a Thought Revelation spell. The Confession spell reflects what the person is immediately thinking about. To cast the spell, simply say Fateor Caecus Cogitatio."
Lily broke in. "The typical wand movement goes well with that."
Aly stared over the top of the paper at Lily. "Wow Lily, you really went all out with this. It must have taken you forever."
Lily tried her best to smile airily. "Well, you know, sometimes I can't sleep and… Anyways, want to give it ago?"
"Sure, I guess."
Settling herself down on her bed, Lily brushed up against her book bag, and immediately thought of the flower stuffed inside her nightstand. What in Merlin's name was James doing? I don't even know how to feel about him anymore…
"Fateor Caecus Cogitatio!"
The last thing Lily thought was Oh, damn before a crisp, male voice sounded in her head.
You don't know how you feel about him anymore? Well, you are as much besotted with him as he is with you. A loud snap sound filled her head, like someone closing a new briefcase. For a brief moment Lily had a vision of a business man snatching up his things and walking away.
"So, Lily, what happened? Did I do it right?" Aly looked apprehensive.
Clearing her throat, Lily asked, "Aly, how do you think James Potter feels about me?"
Aly blinked in surprise. "He's head over heels in love with you. Everyone's known it since fifth year. Why?"
"I'm sorry, Aly. You must have done the spell completely wrong."
Okay, okay, I know part of that was hopelessly fluffy, but that's probably the most fluffy I'll get. You like it? Review! You don't like it? Review!