Author's Note:

Pairing: Tony Stark/Loki

Title: Of All The Gin Joints In All The World by Fall Out Boy

Warnings: Sexual content, explicit language, this might possibly be a bit... cracky

Disclaimer: The world and characters of The Avengers belong to Marvel. I own nothing but the plot and make no money from this story.

Sex is great. Tony fucking loves sex. America's media can attest to that. It's the aftermath- the sort of downward spiral- that Tony hates. When the condom's off, the sweat is cooling, the muscles beginning to ache and the buzz wearing off... that's what Tony hates. Usually Tony's drunk, though, so he falls asleep only to wake up at ass o'clock and scuttle off to his workshop, working through his hangover with copious amounts of coffee and science binges. Back before their disastrous relationship, Pepper would kick out whatever beautiful person Tony had managed to talk into occupying his bed. Now JARVIS alerts Steve or Natasha or some other Avenger to the hapless person wandering around Tony's penthouse, and they walk the girl or guy or other out.

Hmm...

Well, this time Tony can't do any of that. He isn't drunk, for one, so there'll be no passing out for him. In fact, he hasn't had a drink all day. Weird. Also, the person currently occupying his bed is a former prince who was once hell-bent on global domination; someone who's hurt Tony and his team mates countless times in battles that Tony refuses to admit are awesome fun. Well, not aloud, anyway.

So, yes, no calling Steve or Natasha. They'll probably murder him. Torture him first, in Natasha's case. Actually, Steve will most likely give Tony that sad pout/disappointed look that's really fucking effective and makes Tony feel about three-years-old.

Also, no condom. Apparently gods can't contract human diseases. Small mercies.

'So...' Tony hums into the quiet of the room. He turns, glances at his bedmate, who's looking far too satisfied with himself. He should be, Tony thinks. Tony's ass is gonna be sore for fucking days. 'What now?' Tony asks.

Loki hums slightly and shifts on the bed. They didn't get as far as pulling back the blankets, only ripping off clothes and tossing them aside. Tony still remembers how ridiculously gorgeous Loki looked in tight black jeans. 'I believe that you should rest, Stark,' Loki eventually says. 'I understand that you humans have weak stamina, and I want you to pleasure me again in half-an-hour. So sleep while you can, then I'll ride you into the bedding.'

Tony moans. Can you fucking blame him? Okay, so Loki's a super villain who likes throwing daggers and magic at people- Tony included- but he's also super fucking hot with legs and an ass to die for. Tony wants in that ass. Wants to bite it. Slap it. Maybe lick it. He's not about to turn that down!

'Right,' Tony says. 'So you have no plans on stabbing me until that happens?'

Loki chuckles and rolls over, showing off all that smooth, creamy skin, only faint bruises marring his shoulders from where Tony had clung on desperately. And even those are fading, right before Tony's eyes.

'I have no plans to slay you any time soon, Stark,' Loki said. 'You heroes are amusing, and you're rather good in bed.'

Tony's chest puffs out. Shut up, he's damn proud of his skills!

'I wish to have you again,' Loki states. 'And again, and again. I'll stop when I've had enough.'

'What about when I've had enough?' Tony asks.

Loki raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, and Tony wonders if that's natural or if Loki gets his nails clipped, too. 'Have you had enough?'

'Hell no!' Tony couldn't have shouted fast enough, and Loki looks smug, the jackass.

'Good,' Loki says. Then he reaches out, pats Tony's hip, and says, 'Sleep. I'll wake you when I'm ready.'

Well then... that's that, Tony supposes.

{oOo}

Okay, so it happened like this; Tony had to get out of the Tower because Clint was nesting in the ceilings again, Bruce was mourning over some failed experiment, Natasha was trying to talk sense into Clint, Steve was drawing Clint in his natural habitat, and Thor was trying to bring Clint provisions in the form of chocolate poptarts.

So... yeah, Tony needed a break; one that didn't involve insane team mates, paperwork, or JARVIS locking him out of his workshop. So he'd called Happy, 'cause he planned on getting very drunk, and was dropped off at one of the smaller bars in Manhattan. He was still recognised, but by the time Tony got there most of the patrons were drunk and left him well enough alone.

Tony had just sat at the bar when Loki slid onto the stool beside him, casual as you please, and struck up a conversation about astrophysics like he and Tony always met up to discuss the known fucking galaxies.

Of course, Tony went with it. Liked it. Had fun, really. So much so that he didn't touch his drink, not even when the bar closed and he and everyone else were tossed out. Tony smuggled Loki into his car without any problem, and then found himself in his penthouse with a Loki in disguise. It was totally Loki's fault, the sex. When he'd morphed back into himself, tight jeans and dress shirt included, he'd jumped Tony with his mouth and hands and... mouth. Tony went with it. Again. Loki was a good kisser. Good at blow jobs, too. Tony made a "silver tongue" joke and earned three fingers in his ass with very little prep, followed by something much longer and thicker.

And then... well, you know the rest. Now Tony's sitting in his little kitchen- still bigger than what most apartments will offer, but small considering that it's Tony Stark's kitchen. He barely uses it, so didn't design it all that well. Loki's across from him eating a bowl of grapes, sucking them from between his fingers and humming every so often.

Tony swallows thickly and chugs down his coffee, uncaring of the high temperature. He and Loki had fucked four- five?- times last night. And shared mutually satisfying blow jobs in the shower after they woke up. Tony should be set for a while.

Only Loki's still here. In Tony's kitchen. Eating his food.

'Why?' Tony asks out loud, and Loki glances up from the StarkPad he'd stolen from Tony's bedroom, one eyebrow rising. 'Are you still here,' Tony adds after clearing his throat.

Loki swallows his grape. 'So rude, Stark.'

'Hey, just asking, Rudolph,' Tony shrugs.

Loki rolls his eyes at the nickname, but says, 'I told you last night that I would leave when I was satisfied.'

Tony blinks. 'So... not satisfied?'

'No,' Loki says.

'Okay.' Tony... doesn't know what to do with that. 'So I'm just supposed to let you hang around until you're done with me?' he ventures.

'Or until I find someone better to occupy my bed, yes,' Loki nods.

'My bed,' Tony corrects, and earns a grape to the eye. He winces and Loki snickers, asshole. 'Whatever,' Tony mutters. 'I have genius to morph into physical form, so I'm gonna go to my workshop.'

'You do that,' Loki replies, attention already back on the StarkPad.

Tony hangs around in the doorway, eyeing Loki, but he doesn't appear to be in a smitey mood, so Tony shrugs and heads for the elevator. As soon as he's inside, JARVIS is all up in his business.

'J, I told you last night; it's fine.'

'Sir,' JARVIS replies, managing to inject both scorn and concern into his tone. 'May I remind you that Mr Laufeyson is-'

'Evil, insane, dangerous, blah blah,' Tony cuts JARVIS off. 'I know, J, don't worry.'

'I constantly worry for you, Sir,' JARVIS drawls.

Tony laughs. 'I know. Just don't let anyone into the penthouse, okay? Not even Natasha or Pepper.'

'Yes, Sir,' JARVIS replies, but Tony can tell that he isn't happy about it. Tony didn't programme his AI to feel anything, and it's slightly disconcerting, but not enough for Tony to take a peek at JARVIS' hardware. If JARVIS wants to go all SkyNet and takeover-the-worldy, Tony won't stop him. JARVIS loves him.

With that in mind, and his muscles aching pleasantly, Tony whistles all the way down to his workshop.

{oOo}

Loki's still there when Tony returns roughly 32 hours later. Tony is tired and hungry and wired on caffeine. Steve had finally booted him from the lab, ordering rest and food, and Tony had whined and called Steve Mom a dozen times, but the super soldier was zero percent effected. So here Tony is, back in his penthouse, schematics still blurring his vision and hands twitching to wire something.

And there's Loki, on Tony's couch, lazily flipping through channels and wearing a pair of Tony's old sweats.

Well alrighty then.

'You hungry?' Tony asks as he flops onto the sofa beside Loki.

'You smell,' is Loki's greeting.

'Thanks, Dancer,' Tony replies, and Loki sighs. He doesn't promise bodily harm like he normally does when Tony calls him something reindeer-related, so Tony counts it as progress. 'Hungry?' he asks again.

'Indeed,' Loki replies. 'Buy me something,' he then demands, and Tony can see no reason not to, so orders enough pizza to feed a small army. Or a Thor. But Thor's not invited. He'd ruin this... whatever Tony and Loki are doing, with puppy dog eyes and wounded words. Thor's really good at puppy dog eyes. Better than a Labrador puppy.

They eat pizza and watch trashy TV which Loki seems to like. Tony finds an episode of some Gordon Ramsay show and he and Loki laugh along as the chef chews out absolutely everybody he comes across. When Tony swallows his eighth piece of pizza, Loki suddenly mounts him, jams his tongue down Tony's throat, and his hand down Tony's pants.

Well okay then.

They fuck right there, Loki summoning lube from the bedroom, the Frost Giant then fucking himself down onto Tony's cock. He shouts Tony's last name and hisses when Tony hits his prostate and claws bloody red marks into Tony's chest, his stomach, around the arc reactor so as not to actually hurt Tony all that badly. Tony appreciates it, because though his scars have healed, they can still fucking hurt.

Tony comes with Loki's name on his lips, buried balls deep, and Loki watches with warm green eyes, then kisses Tony and drags him to the bedroom.

Tony isn't really sure how he got into this mess. He knows what happened, but not the why. Why did Loki jump him? Why was he still here? Why the fuck had he been in that bar in the first place?

But it's difficult to question anything- or think, really- when a gorgeous god has his head between your legs and his tongue in your ass.

Later, Tony decides, I'll ask later.

{oOo}

Tony doesn't ask. Loki doesn't leave. Well, he leaves to stage random attacks all across New York, and occasionally he'll pop off Midgard just to return with burnt armour and some type of plant. Once he returned with a dragon egg. A fucking dragon egg. When it hatched Tony named it Norbert. Loki didn't get the joke. Loki also didn't get that Tony couldn't keep a mother fucking dragon in his Tower. Loki put on a show of tears when he set Norbert free on some Realm Tony can't pronounce the name of. He then blamed Tony, saying he'd never forgive the mortal for making Loki give up their son.

What.

Besides those weird encounters, Tony's life is pretty normal, even with Loki. He still goes out on Iron Man missions. He still kicks ass with the Avengers. He builds new tech for his company, tries to weasel his way out of paperwork, and creates fucking awesome shit in his workshop.

In-between all that is dinner with Loki, conversations with Loki, and sex with Loki. Tony doesn't really notice that he stops bringing other people home. It happened once, but then Loki arrived and the poor girl was teleported to places unknown. Loki had promised Tony that he hadn't hurt her, had wiped her mind, in fact, and for some reason Tony believed him. He was then fucked to within an inch of his life, so he adds jealous/possessive lover to the official "Things Loki Does That Shouldn't Turn Me On But Do" list in his head. There are a lot of bullet points on that list.

Tony stops drinking, because he can lose himself in Loki's body instead of in a bottle. He has an occasional glass, just because he likes the taste, but doesn't notice that he's not getting shit-faced every third day. The Avengers notice.

Bruce notices that Tony eats better. Steve notices that Tony starts keeping normal hours. Natasha notices that Tony's always happy. Clint notices that Tony's regularly fucking a man. He doesn't voice it, but gives Tony looks and wiggled eyebrows. Clint's a good bro.

Somehow almost three months pass and Loki's still there, apparently not satisfied. He and Tony have a routine and chat and fucking share their feelings. Tony doesn't really notice until Clint crashes in one morning- from the fucking air vent, the weirdo- to find Tony and Loki curled up on the couch together drinking coffee, eating cereal, and watching the morning news.

'I fucking knew it!' Clint declares after brushing plaster from his pants- he cracked the goddamn ceiling! Stupid bird.

'You did not!' Tony argues.

'Did,' Clint sniffs, looking highly pleased with himself and not at all murderous over Loki being wrapped around Tony. 'Loki totally stares at your ass in our fights. He healed you four weeks ago when a Doombot hit you, but you didn't report it. Last week he let those lizard things out and sat eating blueberries. I went searching for the bag and it's that pricey shit you buy. Also, I saw you two making out in a bar last month.'

Tony blinks rapidly. Loki does, too. Tony is sure that neither of them expected this. Clint's reaction is... worrisome.

'Are you alright, Clint?' Tony asks.

Clint rolls his eyes and folds his arms, looking like an exasperated parent. Or an annoyed bro. 'Tony, honestly, man, it's stupid to even think about talking you out of anything. I don't like Loki, but you clearly do, so I'm not even gonna bother. You're not dead yet and Loki hasn't killed anyone since his return, so...'

He trails off and Tony blinks again. 'I don't like Loki!' he denies, and his fucking face heats up, and Clint fucking smirks, and Loki fucking laughs. Fuckers, both of them. 'Fuck you!' Yeah, that totally showed them.

'Whatever,' Clint dismisses. Then he looks at Loki. 'I've still got an arrow with your name on it. You ever wanna spar, join me in the gym.'

'I look forward to it, Tweety Bird,' Loki replies. Tony recently got him into Looney Tunes. He's glad that Loki's been paying attention.

'Whatever,' Clint repeats and heads for the elevator. 'When you decide to give up the farce of still being the bad guy, give us a call.'

With that he's gone, and Loki throws his book at the window, cracking the glass, overturns the couch with Tony on it, then fucks Tony against said couch. Tony's still not sure what happened. He's not complaining, though.

{oOo}

Bruce finds out next. It's mostly Tony's fault. Or Loki's. Well, both their faults; Loki wanted to fuck in the medbay after healing Tony from a rather viscous arm wound, and Tony let him. So Bruce walking in on Loki holding Tony up against the wall, cock still in him and green eyes dark, is both their faults.

Bruce sighs and takes his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. 'Tony, if you're going to continue sleeping with Loki, please don't do it here. I work in here.'

Tony stares at him, then licks his lips. 'Uh... how do you know this isn't the first time?'

Bruce rolls his eyes and gives Tony a look, like Tony's an idiot or something, and Tony would take offence to that- he's never been called an idiot in his life!- but it's difficult when Loki's pressing maddeningly against his prostate and digging his nails into Tony's ass.

'You flirt during fights, Loki heals you an awful lot, and during our last fight he was wearing your AC/DC shirt under his coat,' Bruce rattles off.

Ah.

'Okay,' Tony says.

'Shall we leave?' is Loki's offer, and Bruce nods, then waves a dismissive hand and ambles over to his desk.

'I assume you healed Tony like you always do, so just call me if he suddenly dies or something,' Bruce says.

Loki scowls darkly at that, but then suddenly Tony's back is hitting his bed, and Loki is fucking into him deep. His brain quickly turns to mush as Loki brings him to one of the best climaxes of his life.

'Bruce knows,' Tony breathes, and Loki bites him. 'Ah, you bitch!' Tony huffs.

Loki glares up at him. 'Say another man's name while I'm between your legs and I will dislocate your shoulder.'

Tony hums. 'What if you're on my dick and I say another guy's name?'

Loki flips Tony over and fucks him right into another orgasm. It takes thirty minutes and Tony needs medical cream- from Bruce- afterwards, but Tony totally still thinks it was worth it. Loki smirks smugly for ages afterwards, and Tony can't help but kiss him. It's nice, Tony thinks, and warm. He could really get used to this.

He already has. So has Loki. They just don't know it yet.

{oOo}

Tony's showing Loki the awesomeness that is Star Wars when Steve and Natasha burst in. Well, they don't burst in so much as wander in, sit on arm chairs opposite each other, and start watching The Empire Strikes Back. Tony is tense, and Loki goes still when Steve reaches for the popcorn.

After ten whole minutes of silence, Tony asks, 'Clint or Bruce?'

'Both,' Steve says.

'But we already knew,' Natasha adds.

'I suspected,' Steve corrects. 'But then I asked Natasha and she confirmed it.'

'We figured we'd come up so you can drop the charade,' Natasha says and turns to Tony and Loki. She raises one red eyebrow, like Loki does, and Tony sulks; he wishes he could do that. 'Are you still the bad guy?' she asks Loki.

Loki actually pauses at that, and Tony's eyes widen when he realises that Loki is actually fucking thinking. Like he isn't sure any more. Like him and Tony fucking has somehow pulled him from the Dark Side.

'I don't believe so,' Loki eventually offers, and Tony almost falls off the couch. 'However, I refuse to join your little group, and I refuse to help SHIELD.'

'What if it helps Tony?' Natasha asks.

'I will always help Anthony,' Loki replies immediately, like it's a given fact, and Tony wonders when Loki went from calling him Stark to Anthony, and when he got used to it.

'I thought so,' Natasha says, looking smug. Tony doesn't understand that look. He's not sure he wants to.

They fall into silence, and Loki eventually relaxes- Tony, too. Loki wraps an arm around Tony and tugs him so Tony's curled up against him, like usual. Tony only realises how domestic and couple-y it is when Steve smiles warmly at him and Natasha smirks.

Okay, when did he and Loki go from "enemies-with-benefits" to "in-love-couple"?

Tony laughs. They all ignore him. Okay, so maybe he and Loki are in a relationship, but they aren't in love. Loki still likes throwing things at him and Tony still sleeps with other people... okay, so he will, eventually, when he and Loki stop fucking. Tony can totally go back to mortals after Loki. He's fine, they're fine. They're not in love.

{oOo}

Tony realises he's in love with Loki exactly six days later. It's during a fight with Doom, and Tony had caught glimpses of Loki during the battle. The Trickster stayed out of it, just sitting on various rooftops with a bucket of butter popcorn, laughing when Clint and Thor got hit, scowling when Tony did, and teleporting to high five Natasha when she ripped a bot apart.

Then five Doombots attached themselves to Tony and exploded, taking half of Tony's armour with them. Loki's scream was loud in his ears for some reason, but Tony wasn't all that coherent until he felt the familiar, sickening wash of healing magic spread through him. Then he was meeting Loki's terrified green eyes, and realised that Loki was clutching his hand and clawing at his chest; checking the arc reactor, making sure Tony was alive.

'Damn,' Tony croaks.

'Are you well?' Loki demands, and how did Tony miss this? The warmth and worry and... and everything?

'I love you,' Tony declares to Loki, and his team mates, who've all congregated around him. Nobody but Thor looks surprised.

Loki laughs, but it's soft, broken, and Tony squeezes his hand. 'I love you too, you insufferable idiot.'

Tony grins and Loki kisses him, like Tony knew he would. Then Loki teleports them to Tony's workshop, and helps Tony get out of his suit. After that he makes Tony soup and hugs him as he eats, fluffs his pillows, presses kisses into his hair.

Tony's totally gone. But so's Loki.

{oOo}

Thor corners him the next day. Tony needs food, Loki's refusing takeaway, so Tony's raiding Steve's kitchen.

'Tony!' Thor calls, and Tony yelps, drops the bag of chips, and makes himself small. Thor frowns. 'Are you not sufficiently recovered from yesterday's battle?' he questions. He's... worried?

'Er... yes?' Tony tries.

Thor nods. 'Good! That's good.'

'Yeah, it's... good,' Tony agrees. 'Uh... I'm confused.'

Thor frowns again. 'Why is that, my friend?'

'Well, I, um... I'm having sex with your brother,' Tony says, because, hello! How has Thor not figured that out? Or maybe he has. Maybe this is all a trick and Tony's about to die wearing Spider-Man boxers and a Black Sabbath t-shirt.

'I am aware,' Thor says, and the fucker sounds amused. It's official; Tony has gone insane. So he laughs and picks up the chips and goes back to ransacking Steve's cupboards. And his fridge. There's some lasagna in there, Tony just knows it.

'Are you happy with my brother, Stark?' Thor asks from behind him.

'Yeah,' Tony says without turning around.

'And you love him?' is Thor's next question.

'Duh,' Tony snorts. 'I said that, remember?'

'Aye,' Thor agrees. 'But my brother plays many tricks, Man of Iron.'

Tony snaps at that. 'Hey, Loki's an asshole, but he wouldn't lie about love! You of all people should know that, Thor! Loki's been used and abused his entire life, can you blame him for wanting to cling to whatever love he can find? Even if it's with a supposed enemy?!'

Tony isn't really sure what he was trying to accomplish with his little speech, but it leaves Thor stunned, so he counts it as a win. He then loads his arms with food and makes his escape, but not before Thor calls after him.

'Treat my brother well, Anthony,' he says as Tony gets into the elevator. 'You are right; he needs love.'

The doors close before Thor can say anything else.

{oOo}

Tony isn't really sure how this all came about. A few months ago- nine, Loki told him a few minute sago- he was a playboy getting drunk every other day and screwing around in his workshop. Now he eats three meals a day, barely drinks, and is in a committed, functioning relationship.

Tony rolls over in bed to survey Loki. The god is dressed in sweats and a sweater, knees drawn up and duvet pooling at his waist. He has a StarkPad on his lap and doesn't look up, but does raise an eyebrow when he realises that Tony's looking at him.

'Did you seduce me and plan this?' Tony asks bluntly.

Loki snorts. 'I did not love you before we started having sex, if that's what you mean. My feelings for you changed gradually, like I'm assuming yours did.'

'Uh... yeah, it was something like that,' Tony agrees and rolls back over.

Loki sighs and turns the Pad off, puts it aside and then scoots over to wrap himself around Tony. 'What is troubling you?' he asks.

'Nothing, really,' Tony admits. 'It's just weird... us.'

'Is it?' Loki questions. 'We are very much alike. Thor, and even your team mates, have remarked upon it.'

'Yeah,' Tony agrees, 'but I didn't think we'd end up a couple and have a routine and not have sex every night.'

'You are human and fragile,' Loki says, which makes Tony huff. Loki sooths it with a kiss that's sweet, not passionate, but Tony can feel everything Loki feels through the brief touch of their lips.

Wow. He's in really deep. And so's Loki.

They still have to tell SHIELD. Tony can't wait to see the look on Fury's face.

'I'm a terrible, terrible person,' he muses, and Loki snorts.

'Shall I punish you?' he asks.

'I didn't expect my friends to take this so well,' Tony says instead of replying.

'Neither did I,' Loki agrees. 'However, as the Bird said, they know you well; it would be foolish to talk you out of something you have set your mind and heart on.'

'I hadn't set my heart on you then,' Tony denies, but Loki smirks.

'Hadn't you?' he counters, eyebrow up, smirk still on his lips.

Tony groans and punches Loki in the stomach. The bastard doesn't even grunt. 'I hate you,' he declares.

'You love me,' Loki teases and kisses him again. This one has tongue and teeth and gets Tony all hot and bothered. Loki then sits up to straddle Tony's lap. He tugs his sweater off and smiles down at Tony.

'Yeah,' Tony agrees, a smile of his own tugging at his lips. 'But you do, too.'

'Quiet now,' Loki declares and swoops down to steal Tony's breath. That's not all he's stolen. But Tony's not complaining. He never will.

Author's Note: It's almost seven am and I'd planned to go to sleep half-an-hour ago. Instead I wrote this, reviewed it once, and am now posting it. Sorry if it's bad, but that's why. My muse should be sleeping. Bad, Johnny, bad!

{Dreamer}