I watched "I Ka Wa Mamua" today and I started thinking what if the ending was different, and I imagined an older Grace dancing. So this is the story.
I don't own anything save for any mistakes.
A Grace Undeserved
She is beautiful. Her dress is very similar to the pink one she had for that first father-daughter dance. Her hair is in a bun and she looks very elegant in her pink dress, like a young princess from a fairytale.
I'm so proud of her. Her smile lights up the whole room as I hold her in my arms but through the lights and smiles and her sparkling eyes my heart clenches for a moment when I remind myself that I'm not supposed to have any of this. And I just hold her hand a little bit tighter and as she looks up at me I know that behind her smile she is thinking of the same thing as me. I promised Grace I would be here tonight and I'm glad this is a promise I could keep.
Grace. Her name has so many meanings. If I opened a dictionary I'm sure I would find a picture of her smiling face next to the word. She is Grace.
Smoothness and elegance of movement.
The way she dances; smiling, her eyes sparkling with mischief, her grin wide as she looks at me with such open eyes. Her eyes are her mother's but she didn't get the spark in them from her. She's happy and laughter bubbles up from her as we dance. Her movements are much smoother than mine but that's how it should be. She is a young lady and she glides across the room so effortlessly and with such grace I can't do anything but follow her and watch as she lights up the whole room with only her presence.
Courteous good will.
Though she is sometimes ill-tempered and quick to judge, which still didn't come from her mother, she is the kindest girl I know. She is just too good to everyone. I know my team sometimes annoys her with all the overprotection ohana style, but she humors her family and lets everyone take care of her because she is the favorite niece. And even when she's annoyed she smiles because she knows how important is it for everyone to see her safe and happy.
The free and unmerited favor of God.
Yes, she is a blessing. Sometimes she is the only thing that keeps us going. Her innocence that we want to protect so that nothing bad can reach her in this paradise. She is the gift you don't deserve but then do everything in your power to keep with you.
And she is one thing I'm not supposed to have.
This is a big day for her. She's sixteen and she's beautiful as she holds everyone's attention. I'm so proud of her I feel my heart would burst. This is a feeling I'm not supposed to have. Because everything here: this feeling of being proud, her smile and her trust as she dances with me should belong to her Danno, not me.
He should be the one dancing with her and admiring her for the beautiful young lady she is.
This dance belongs to her father, not me. As the other father-daughter dance should have belonged to him a few years ago.
He made a promise. Danno's 100 percent guarantee. She hasn't said 100 percent since then when she promises something. She always says if her father couldn't keep his promise than how could she do it. Her Danno was a detective with a shiny badge and a gun and the promise to hunt for the bad men and even he couldn't keep his promise.
I remember his face. His plea to take care of Grace. I wanted to stay with him. I was so sure the EOD specialist would take care of that bomb. But when said specialist shoved me away and shouted at me to run, I looked at Danno's face. I knew what he was asking me and for a moment I faltered. I'm not used to running but his eyes were begging me. Grace. Take care of her. I'm 100 percent sure you will take good care of her for me. When I looked into the eyes of my brother I knew that I would do it for him; leave him so that I could live for the little girl who was his life. So I ran.
I remember the blast. I was not far enough and it knocked me down. I remember the heat, the alarms of the cars nearby and the people shouting. I remember the others running towards me to help me up. And I remember that I didn't want to get up. I wanted to stay there on the ground. I thought if I stayed for a few minutes then I could just open my eyes and pretend that this nightmare never happened.
I remember everything of that day. The sirens, Cat hugging me, and watching Kono silently cry on Chin's shoulder.
And I remember Grace's face. Rachel was sitting next to her when Grace's lips started trembling and she launched herself into my arms and cried herself to sleep. I remember taking her up to her room while Rachel was crying in Stan's arms. I remember seeing her dress hanging in her room, waiting to be put on so that she could go to the dance with her Danno.
I know she hasn't gone to any of the father-daughter dances since then. Not without her Danno.
And today we are dancing because she just turned sixteen and has this great party with her big and dysfunctional family. Her ohana. With uncles and aunts that would do anything to make Danno's little Monkey happy.
And so we are dancing and she is smiling and I can almost give my 100 percent guarantee that I will always be here to dance with her when she wants to.
Even if it's not me that's supposed to have any of this.