I don't own Bleach, if I did then my whites wouldn't be nearly as stained as they are. I also don't make any money off of this story, or my supposed-to-be-white clothes.

Pairing: Kenpachi x Ichigo

For Sakusha Saelbu- Happy birthday! I hope you like it!

Summary: I will never run out of ideas for this pairing… It's set in the Bleach universe. Based on the filler where the watermelon monsters attack the crew at the beach. Yachiru hides one of the 'watermelons' near the training ground and Ichigo stumbles upon it unwittingly and snags him in its clutches. Kenpachi finds Ichigo in a rather… suggestive situation forced upon him by the perverted watermelon.

What cracked me up the most about that episode was that it was all females who go snatched up Ichigo was snagged along with them and Renji was thrown into the ocean.

Contains: Tentacle/food (??? Kind of…) play (very beginning only), crack… Watermelon juice- a rarely used form of lube! Sex, violence, cursing.

Beta'd by da wonderful Warrior Nun!

Watermelon Games

Yachiru was very happy, which set everyone on edge. The last time she was this happy she switched Byakuya's hair products with pink glue. Therefore when Ikkaku mentioned he had seen Yachiru messing around the training grounds earlier, nobody got within a five mile radius of it.

Well, everybody except Ichigo and Kenpachi that is.

Ichigo scratched his head as he entered the training ground where he was supposed to meet Renji for a sparring match. (Somewhere very far away Renji wondered why he felt like he was forgetting something.) Ichigo looked around the deserted place and sighed heavily, not noticing the black tentacle that crept up behind him.

Ichigo scowled at the training area that was strangely abandoned despite how usually active it was. With a heavy sigh he turned to leave, and that was when the tentacle wrapped around his leg and yanked.

Ichigo let out a grunt as he fell face first onto the ground and twisted to see what had snagged him. A large mass shot out of the ground and Ichigo stared in disbelief at the thing he had hoped to never see again. It was that damned anti-hollow watermelon that Mayuri had created.

He was lifted into the air as he cursed and struggled. His hand went for Zangetsu but the tentacle wrapped around it and threw it away.

"Stupid fucking watermelon!" Ichigo yelled and squirmed to get free as a tentacle wrapped around his arms and torso, binding his arms to his sides. "Let go of me!"

The watermelon monster made almost a cooing noise and the tip of one tentacle caressed his face, leaving a slimy red trail. Ichigo made a face and then jerked in surprise when a tentacle slipped into his hakama.

"Agh! What are you doing!?" He wiggled around and tried to kick the thing away however the tentacles snagged his ankles and spread his legs wide apart as two more worked underneath his clothing. "You perverted thing!"

He twitched in surprised when a tentacle nudged against his cock and then wrapped around it and began to pump him. Ichigo gasped as he hardened against his will and tried to clamp his thighs together but his legs were just spread wider apart.

"Fu-uck!" Ichigo stuttered out as he panted and let out a low groan as it teased his slit. "Stop!!!"

Ichigo froze as one of the more slender tentacle brushed against his prostate. "No!" Ichigo cried out and renewed his vigor to get away but to no avail. It slipped inside and he cried out. The stretch was slightly painful, but the slime eased the way and it was slender enough that it wasn't too agonizing.

He shuddered and his hips twitched as the tentacle found his prostate and his back bowed in pleasure. He let out a low moan and felt an ache develop in his groin area and then froze as he felt a very familiar reiatsu enter the area. Of all people to catch him in this situation, Kenpachi was one he didn't want to see him like this. He opened his mouth to yell at Kenpachi to not look, but a tentacle forced its way into his mouth and effectively gagged him.

…

Kenpachi knew something was up when he saw a chipper Yachiru as well, but unlike the others, he usually found her antics amusing and encouraged them. So when Yachiru told him to go to the training grounds to see something fun, he decided to go. He recognized Ichigo's reiatsu instantly, but it was acting strangely and he wondered why.

As he entered the training ground, he caught sight of the scene that made him surprised for the first time in a long while. Not to mention hard as a rock. He would have to remember to thank Yachiru after this was all over.

Kenpachi grinned and unsheathed his sword as he made his way over to Ichigo who was trussed up by the tentacles. It appeared that Ichigo was being thoroughly molested as well, although Kenpachi was disappointed that he couldn't see it because the hakama were in the way.

A look of relief crossed Ichigo's face as Kenpachi approached and Kenpachi guessed that Ichigo assumed he was going to destroy the thing, but he didn't want to do that just yet. Instead he made a short, quick slash at Ichigo's belt and grinned as Ichigo's face widened in surprise as his hakama fell down.

Kenpachi's eyes roamed over the bare flesh and grew hard at the sight of the tentacles wrapped around Ichigo's cock and thrusting inside of him.

"It seems like you're in a bit of trouble Ichigo." Kenpachi said huskily and slashed his sword again, this time baring Ichigo's torso to his eye.

Ichigo yelled something that was muffled by the tentacle and almost gagged when it slid further into his mouth and hit the back of his throat. Kenpachi dropped his sword to the ground and reached up to grab Ichigo's thighs. He was held at the perfect height for Kenpachi to lean forward and run his tongue over the head of Ichigo's cock.

Ichigo screamed behind the tentacle and threw his head back in pleasure. Kenpachi drank in the sight and then moved his hands back to stroke Ichigo's entrance which a tentacle was thrusting in and out of. Ichigo tried to lift his hips away as Kenpachi pushed two fingers in beside the tentacle, but he couldn't manage.

The pleasure was already becoming too much, but with a thin tentacle wrapped around the base of his erection he couldn't come. His entire body seemed to throb with need for the eleventh division captain and he wanted nothing more than to be fucked by him, but instead he was being torturously teased.

Kenpachi had finally had enough with the foreplay and tried to yank Ichigo down so he could fuck him, but the tentacles wouldn't let go. The anti-hollow watermelon let out a screech and tried to bat Kenpachi away so it could play with its prize, but Kenpachi wanted Ichigo now and wouldn't be deterred.

He went for his sword again, and this time cut through the watermelon, slicing it in half in a single strike. It fell to the ground in a spray of juice and the tentacles loosened around Ichigo. He almost dropped to the ground but Kenpachi caught him, only to shove him down and start to hastily undress himself.

"Kenpachi!" Ichigo cried out and groaned as Kenpachi slid his rough hands over Ichigo's body, smearing the slick watermelon juices left behind. He tore off what remained of Ichigo's shihakusho and spread his legs apart to fit himself in between them. Ichigo gripped Kenpachi's shoulders tightly and gasped as Kenpachi thrust into him.

"Fu-ck!" Ichigo turned his head to the side and tried to muffle his cries with his hand but Kenpachi yanked it away.

"I want to hear you." He growled in gave another sharp thrust, making Ichigo cry out in pain as well as pleasure. The residue left inside of him from the tentacles made him slick and Kenpachi penetrated him with ease.

Ichigo panted heavily as he tried to get used to Kenpachi thick organ inside of him, but it was hard to when Kenpachi moved so quickly. Ichigo writhed and squirmed as his prostate was continuously pressed against and almost whimpered when a particularly hard stroke sent him into a fit of ecstasy.

"Ugh!" Ichigo arched his back and clutched a handful of Kenpachi's hair. Kenpachi allowed Ichigo to yank at him and took the opportunity to kiss Ichigo passionately while he worked his hand in between their bodies to stroke Ichigo's erection.

Ichigo tore away from the kiss to take a deep shuddering gasp and lifted his hips into the sensation. Kenpachi sucked on the hollow of Ichigo's throat and tried to regain control of himself as Ichigo's tight heat clamped down on him.

He began to piston in and out of Ichigo quickly, their skin slapping together loudly as their coupling grew more frantic. Ichigo's cries had developed a desperate edge and he convulsed as he spilt himself over Kenpachi's hand and his own stomach.

Kenpachi last a bit longer than Ichigo who was still trying to recover as Kenpachi continued to pound into him ruthlessly. Ichigo's body trembled and he dry spasmed at the sensation before Kenpachi finally released himself inside the man underneath him.

Ichigo clung to Kenpachi in the aftermath and Kenpachi found he didn't mind in the slightest. He cupped the back of Ichigo's head and held Ichigo against him as he lay on his side and slipped out of him. Ichigo made a small noise of discomfort that made Kenpachi's cock twitch, but he decided to give him a few minutes to recover before fucking him again.

Ichigo nuzzled his chest and then unexpectedly froze. Kenpachi glanced down at him in confusion and then Ichigo cried out and dug his nails into Kenpachi's arm. It only took Kenpachi a few seconds to realize that a long, thick tentacle had thrust inside of Ichigo's used hole and was fucking him hard.

Kenpachi grinned as two more of the watermelon tentacle-monsters burst out of the ground and Ichigo was snagged yet again. Kenpachi was definitely up for a few more rounds.

LINE

The moral of this story is to never play with your food! Or lock your doors and stay inside at all times whenever Yachiru looks really happy. (Ichigo should know better by now)

I've been doing a lot of one shots lately separate of the uke Ichigo collection… but just because they're doing their own theme. I'll be writing something special for the KenIchi say too (11-15). I don't know what yet, but like I said above, I never run out of KenpachixIchigo plot ideas. They just keep on coming and coming... Like the energizer bunny of yaoi intent on making Kenpachi and Ichigo bump hips.