For all of this random story, I do not own Twilight or characters.
Aresting Jacob (Tyson Ritters)
Bella: -Runs into Cullen house and hugs Edward, sobbing-
Edward: "Bella, what's going on?"
Bella: "Jacob..."
Edward: -sighs and thinks another Jacob story-
Bella: "He said something terrible!"
Alice: -foresees what Bella will say- "Oh, that's just awful Bella!"
Edward: "What?!"
Bella: "He said... he was... 'HOT' for me... then he put a thermometer on his head and said 'yup, real hot!'"
Edward: "GASP! That's the worst pun ever!"
Alice: "This means war!"
Emmett appears
Emmett: "Let's beat 'em like clowns beat the happiness out of small children!"
Jasper: "I'm in!"
Emmett: "Where is Jasper coming from?" -looks around- "He's not here! OMC, he's invisible!" -squeals in his fangirl way-
Alice: "Idiot. He's upstairs curling his sexy hair." -drools-
Edward: -drools-
Bella: -slaps Edward-
Jasper appears after finishing curling his hair
Rosalie: "Jasper looks like a lady."
Edward: "Is Rosalie speaking to us from above?"
Bella does happy dance until Rosalie appears on the stairs
Rosalie: -slaps Bella-
Alice: "Let's go fight the icky smelling wolves!"
Bella: "How do you fight a werewolf?"
Alice: "They fear... SCENTED PENS!"
All: "GASP!"
One evil plan later in Jacob's house...
Jacob: -pets doll- "Bella Jr., you look so magnificent..." -kisses his dolly-
Bella: "Ew." -nearly throws up-
Alice: "Shh!"
Jacob: "Who is there!?"
Emmett: "The po-po."
Jasper: "The fuzz."
Edward: "Coppers."
Jacob: "Am I under-arrest?"
Rosalie: "A-duh!"
Jacob: "Can I gets one phone call?"
Alice: "Fine. Whatev."
Emmett: "Like we care."
Jacob: -calls Tyson Ritters- "Dude come to my place!"
Jasper: "OMC, Tyson Ritters?! He's like sooooo good looking."
Alice: "WTH Jasper? I thought you were manly."
Jasper: "I blame Edward's vibes."
All: -Look at Edward-
Edward: "Can you blame me?"
Emmett: "Guess not. Bella might, though."
Bella: "Ya, Bella's mad."
Rosalie: "Why are you talking in 3rd person?"
Bella: "Bella doesn't know. But Bella doesn't want Edward to like Tyson, because Bella likes Tyson and she sooo has dibs on him."
Edward: "You never called dibs!"
Bella: "Bella calls dibs!"
Edward: -sigh-
Tyson: -appears-
All: -drool-
Jacob: "So Tyson these vampies are like soooo gonna get me so like could you totally sing 11:11PM cause that'd like sooo totally be like epic."
Jasper: "Please don't speak valley girl."
Jacob: "WHATEVA!"
Tyson: -Sings- "THIS COULD BE, THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME!!"
Jacob: "Wow that was great, marry me?"
Tyson: "Sure why not. Vegas?"
(AN: At this point I'm gonna stop putting in quotation marks cause puttting them in is becoming very tedious. GO AWAY, QUOTATION MARKS!)
Jacob: Yeah Vegas is cool. After Micky D's?
Tyson: Yum. But you won't fit in your dress.
Jacob: WHAT?! I'm FAT?! -slaps Tyson-
Bella: Bella wants to know, OMC DID YOU JUST SLAP A CELEBRITY?!
Alice: I THINK HE DID!!
Emmett: WE GON' AREST YOU TWICE, FOO'!
Jasper: YEEEEAH, BOY!!
Emmett: FLAVA FLAVE!!
Edward: -shakes head disapprovingly- He's gonna be in the next chapter, isn't he?
Bella: -handcuffs Jacob- You ARE Bella's slave for life, now.
Jacob: How ironic.
Tyson: I'll wait for you!! -whispers to Rosalie- No, I won't. -Skips off into rainbow-