People are requesting that I post another chapter soon, so I promise there will be a new chapter within the next two weeks.
Tomorrow (11-9-09) I will be posting a new Chapter even if I have to spend all day on it. I'm about half way through writing Chapter two and then I just have to edit the whole thing. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks and I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately my life is incomplete, for I don't own any of these characters. My cool factor will never be as great as Charlaine Harris.
I was just beginning to overcome my hatred for mirrors. The after affects of the Fae war left wear and tare on my body both physically and mentally. Fortunately mirrors only reflected the bruises and scratches, this I could handle. It was the mental affects I struggled with, the part I couldn't always bare.
It has been close to two weeks since I arrived home beaten, and I haven't worked a single shift at Merlotte's yet. In fact, I haven't even left my house once. And Eric, my blood-bonded love, had only visited me once. As much as I longed for his company, I understood why he was distant. He was giving me time, the time I needed to heal well enough to ask him the question I so desperately needed thee answer to. I needed to know where he was when--
Whoa whoa Sookie. Calm down. Breathe. I gripped the edge of the kitchen counter all while forcing my eyes shut. My attempt to block out my torturous memories failed. I gazed through the window above the kitchen sink, guessing the sun had not been down long, and I so desperately needed to talk to Eric. I dialed his cell number without looking, having attempted this conversation with him many a times in the last two weeks, but I never actually contacted my Viking until now.
"Sookie," was the first thing I heard Eric say. I could hear relief in his voice. A good sign. With this one word, our blood bond screamed inside of me and I clutched at my chest; it had never caused me to feel this way before. I wasn't sure if this screaming was the emotion I was experiencing because that was exactly how Eric was feeling, or if the reason was simply that hearing his voice pushed me further into my longing for him. Does he feel what I'm feeling now? My body will probably prove to everyone that lonliness causes death, for if I don't see him tonight my body will surely give up on living.
"Eric, I---," my emotions clouded my train of thought, but I focused on my goal. "I need to see you tonight," was all I could say to him, and I honestly didn't care if my desperation made itself known when I spoke of the word 'need'. I did, however, hope he wouldn't deny me this.
He took a while to respond and I began to believe I would be rejected. No he can't do this. I took my hand off my chest, clutched the kitchen countertop again, and tightened my grip on the phone. A silent tear dripped from the corner of my eye, but I would not let him know this. "I will be at your house within thee hour," and with these words relief was brought to me. I wouldn't have to last another sleepless night without seeing his wonderous face. This relief allowed me to release the counter.
I was on the verge of sobbing when I realized I would soon know why he had let me down. "Goodbye," I said, it was all I could say, and then I swiftly hung up the phone before he could say another word. I brought my attention back to the image I saw through the window. The light from the house allowed me to see that there was a light breeze outside; the trees were slightly blowing. That was all I could make out in the darkness, so I focused on the swaying branches while my emotions calmed themselves.
Breaking every bit of my concentration, Amelia then came into the kitchen, with her eyes intent on my face, "Sookie what is the matter?" She had also been an emotional disaster these last couple weeks when she had knowledge of Tray's death, but there wasn't a hint of grief in her expression at that moment, only concern.
She strode across the kitchen to me without saying another word; Amelia knew exactly why I was having yet another emotional breakdown. This had to be around the hundredth time now right? Amelia, being the great friend that she was, stood there hugging me and patting my back in an attempt to give me comfort.
I tried not to make my reaction noticable when I caught the words, "Maybe tonight won't be the best night to tell her I'm moving out either. . . I cannot be that heartless," unintentionally from her mind. I forced my tears to stop streaming wildly down my barely-bruised face and broke away from her hug. "I think I'm going to go take a shower," and with a sniffle I walked out of the room without so much as glancing at her.
After setting the shower water to my prefered temperature, I reacquainted myself with the bathroom mirror, that I had for the most part ignored lately. I stripped down to my panties and bra and stared into my reflection. Sookie Stackhouse. Yes, it came to my attention that I was looking like myself. My left eye still had a slight purple tint beneath it and there were still a few scrapes here and there, but they were healing and I was Sookie Stackhouse once again. My reflection sent me a little smile of happiness in this simply because I didn't want Eric seeing me as battered as I was in the beginning of my recovery.
After brushing the days tangles from my hair I decided it was best to finish my shower before Eric arrived, so I stripped off my remaining clothing and hopped into my warm shower. Back to one of the happiest of times in my life, I thought of when I was responsible for confused Eric's "life". . .when I first considered him my Eric, when he stepped into this very shower with me---. I couldn't let myself continue this reminiscence for I could feel the tears begin to rise. I was an emotional wreck. My entire roller coaster of emotions was in full speed, up and down up and down. Would I ever run out of these god forsaken tears? I looked down trying to focus on calming myself, but I then caught a glimpse of the scratches and bites that still marked my body, and I collapsed onto my knees, down to the shower floor. I tried to delude myself into thinking the water running down my face was only from the shower, but if that were true then why was I sobbing? I, Sookie Stackhouse, human, protected and cared for a lost thousand-year-old vampire, but when I needed said vampire, more than I've ever needed anyone in my life, . . .he never showed. He wasn't the one to rescue me. How could you allow someone you love to go through the torture I suffered? Especially when you could feel the pain I was feeling, when you could hear my pleas for you.
When my sobs were for the mean time under control, I lifted myself, despite my shaky legs, and shut off the water. I was no longer in the mood to take a shower. I didn't glance at my reflection when I patted my damp hair, dried my body with a towel, and made my way out of the bathroom. Suddenly I noticed my energy level had plummeted, so I quickly dressed into my drawstring pajama shorts and a tank top, before snuggling into my bed. I didn't let myself fall asleep though, I would be awake when Eric arrived. I wouldn't take the chance of him letting me sleep and not awaken until the sun brightened the room around me; when he would surely be dead to the world for the day. I had to see him tonight. =====
If I had to guess between Eric entering through the front door and Eric entering through my window, my guess would be the window. But he proved me wrong when I heard Amelia answer the knock at the front door. I didn't leave my bed, I only sat up well aware he would be in my room within seconds. Another guess I would make is that he would quietly and quickly enter my room and race to my bedside, so I prepared myself not to be startled by this action. I heard a light knock on my bedroom door, it slightly opened and then his glorious face peered around it to find mine. I grinned for the first time in two weeks. When he moved across the room and sat himself in the chair at the corner, I didn't know what to think of the expression painted across his face. A more reliable source, the blood bond, informed me that he didn't know how to act or what to say. He was being very careful not to do or say the wrong thing. I would have to speak first.
"How have you been?" I kept my voice smooth, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me, and yet still trying not to fake happy; he would see right through the 'happiness'.
For only a second or two he looked at me like that was the most stupid question he would ever hear in his 'life'. It probably was. "Unimaginably lonely, and constantly worried," he spoke sweetly. "I believe you want to know why..." he didn't need to elaborate his sentence for me to understand its meaning, and I could sense this was hard for him to bring up.
I nodded and he stood. "I cannot begin to relax until I know why you weren't there..." I choked down the lump that formed in my throat, "...there to save me when I begged for you. When I, when I needed you more than I ever have. You must have felt it." I no longer had control over my crying.
A single drop of blood fell from one of his eyes to the floor before the crimson tears streamed down his high cheeck bones. No whimper came from him; not a sob, or a sound. It seemed as though he wasn't crying at all, but the stiffness of Eric's face from his clenched jaw and the fact that he was bitting of his own lip gave him away. I knew if another word was released from my trembling mouth my strong Viking I was so accustomed to, would be in hysterics. I couldn't bare to witness such a thing; therefore, silence filled the room around us, and I knew it was best to allow him speak first. As much as every bloody trail that flowed down Eric's cheeks pained my heart to an almost unbearable extent, I would not look away from him. I could not take my eyes off his beautiful, overwhelming face.
When his teeth momentarily parted, the gash in his bottom lip was far from unnoticable. "Sookie," he was able to slip my name from his mouth before dropping his eyes to the floor and shaking his head slowly from side to side as if to erase everything dreadful from his thousand-year-old mind. It only took a few head movements for him to realize it would never work.
"Eric," I said ever so silently against my better judgement. Before I could finish that one word his eyes flashed to my face with and intense stare. He wasn't angry, nor sad; Eric was as miserable as I was, and his eyes were now pleading to me.
Gracefully, but still so hastily that my eyesight was useless in search for his movement, he eliminated the few feet of nothingness that seperated us. My poor vampire was sitting behind me, had his legs stretched out and serperated, with my back against his chest, and his arms wrapped completely around me before I could be sure he hadn't left the room. No matter how distraught he was and no matter how much I dreaded the answers to my question, his embrace brought comfort to me. "Please," Eric whispered an inch from my ear, "don't let yourself loose the faith you have in me or how deeply I feel for you. You're killing me....I can feel it through the blood bond we share, you're broken. Not in a physical sense much anymore, but it is as if your soul has fallen to pieces. I wish with everything I possibly have that holding your body, my dear love's body, close to mine," he gave me a tiny squeeze, and continued to keep his arms around me, "that maybe I could mend the affects of the retched event I should have prevented, or --- or stopped immidiately," he stammered.
By now I was sobbing, "Eric, it was almost impossible to believe you cared for me when you didn't save me from that torture," he stiffened, "every minute I lay there I told myself you'd be saving me at any moment, I would be safely in your arms at any moment. I truely believed you could feel my pain, and I didn't think anything could keep you from coming to me at that moment. I see how this pains you, I do. I know better than to think you don't care; not only can I see it in your face, but I can feel it... this hurts you too. But that doesn't fix the damage I've had inflicted on me. My love, I must know where you were."
"The odds are against us Sookie." I became confused as to where he was going with this. "That fact makes no matter because I refuse to allow anyone to take you away form me. That's precisely the pathetic reason for my failure to save you myself." I wasn't just confused now, I was downright furious, but I tried not to let it represent itself upon my face. This could not be the end of his explanation right? Right. "You see my Sookie, while the fairies were conspiring to take you from me forever, I caught word that Felipe de Castro was planning much the same task."
My anger shifted from Eric to Castro, and I knew exactly why Castro wanted me under his thumb...I was a telepath, "But...I gave you the knife. I'm yours! Nobody should be able to take me away!," I was yelling through my tears now. " I thought with my giving you the knife that meant if anyone tried to take me from you then they would be killed! No, no, no....I'm supposed to be yours...I'm yours...I'm yours." My last few statements faded once I turned myself around, straddling his lap, and burried my face in his chest. With the current mood we were experiencing, my stradling position gave no sexual feeling to me, just comfort in my vampire arms. I could tell the same comfort was also the thing Eric was feeling. It was not about wanting to be close together, it was about needing to be close together. No space between the chests that held our hearts; and eventhough there was no longer a beat in my Viking's heart, it still longed for me, as mine longed for him.
"Sh, sh, sh," Eric murmured as he pressed his lips into my hair. "No matter the number of attempts to steel you away from me, no matter the number of enemies who long to steel you away from me; it will never happen. And this you may have faith in, because not only do I love you and care about your safety, but I can no longer imagine my existance without you being a part of it." He placed both of his strong hands on either side of my head and tilted it up just enough for our blue eyes to gaze at each other. Finally, I didn't find red spilling from his eyes, but I sense that he was simply being strong for my sake. "I love you. I will protect you. I swear it," Eric raised his eyesbrows and looked deep within my eyes, giving me a more intense feel when he said this to me. He meant every word, nothing could make me believe otherwise.
I wrapped my arms around Eric's neck and rested my chin on his shoulder. "I love you too Eric," I stated simply. He ran his hands up and down my back in a slow, comforting way. I'm not exactly sure how long we stayed in our little position of warmth, but it wouldn't be ridiculous to guess it was a little over an our. I was still straddling his waist with my arms around his neck, and he still had a tight hold around me, when he decided to make out eyes meet once again. I was hesitant as to what expression he would find once his eyes examined my face; I was right to be so hesitant. His face only expressed curiosity, that is until he noticed I was still worried. Either way there was no hiding this from him; we were blood bonded. He tucked my blond curls away from my face and behind my shoulders, "My lover, please I beg of you, worry no longer."
"But you still haven't told me what happened when you found out Castro's plan," I noted, my voice was slightly raspy.
"For tonight that simply doesn't matter, love. You're here safe with me and we won't be parted," Eric traced the outside of my lower lip with his finger before he replaced it with his own lips. It was a simple and light kiss, he then said, "You need to rest, my heart." He pulled the both of us underneath the blankets and positioned me so my head was resting on top of his chest. While gliding my fingertips up and down his forearm I whispered one last 'I love you' to my sweet vampire, before I fell into a deep sleep that would most likely consist of many nightmares. I wasn't worried; should I wake from any such nightmare, I would be there in his arms.
"As I love you," he replied back, "Now that you have come to make me understand what that truely means."
Reviews are greatly appreciated. Hope the writing isn't too awful, this is after all my first fanfic. Thanks. :)