If it wasn't obvious from the story description, this is a continuation of my other story, "Choices". There were still a number of problems and issues to keep our people busy. So, the story continues. Please, please, read the other one first. This story continues to be post-OC, non-MOTB, with as few OC tweaks as I could manage, and an odd choice, hence the "M" rating. There will be some language as well. Comments/reviews welcome.

As a reminder, "Choices" ended with the death of a particularly nasty Luskan mage who had taken over the ruins of Jerro's Haven for its extra-planar links, among other plans. Which included demons, a yugoloth, and making liches, oh my! Just to keep things interesting, the party split into several subgroups along the way, which as any veteran player can tell you, is always a Bad Idea. But they won through, and cleared all threats from the dungeon, now comes the clean-up...

x x x

Haven ruins - - -

--Knight Commander

Once we'd thoroughly looted the place, Sand teleported away with Grobnar to send in the demolition crews we'd already sent letters for. Sand had been especially pleased at the library. Neeshka found some pretty things I suspected the scumbag had missed. Not much else was of interest to me, personally, beyond razing the place.

There was enough here to pay for a lot of the demolition, all, if we could have been persuaded not to keep the choicer items. I had brought much of my gem cache, so we'd have enough to pay our experts. It really didn't matter if it had belonged to Jerro or the dead ass, it was ours now.

We all camped outside, and did one tour through the outer circle every day, just to verify that it was still clear of lower planar creatures. Sand was almost out of vials of blood, so I cut myself to get us all inside again each time, and was then dizzy and wobbly by the time we had finished passing through all those gates in a quick succession. Both Bishop and Casavir rarely let me out of their sight, and got grimmer for every tour, seeing that. Sometimes, I got silly. It was a race to see who could heal me first, and once I almost fancied I heard a horse race announcer. I wished Grobnar could have done it, as he would have loved that joke. I whispered some of that patter when the guys made me sit for healing the next time around. I got them chuckling, and they were a little less obvious after that.

A few days later, Sand came back with a merry Grobnar and a temporarily shrunken Construct to at start making a new entrance into the building. Cas looked the most relieved when this plan was announced, not that I wasn't happy, too.

x x x

--Bishop

I nearly panicked when Grobnar brought his pet golem. I don't think I had even seen it in ages, and had forgotten I had tampered with it in a fit of madness... of jealousy. After they'd reported on the expected arrival times for the demolition crews, I pulled Casavir, Sand, and Grobnar aside and tried to explain quickly.

Sand and Casavir were both livid. Sand was especially biting in his tongue lashing, but he had to know about it to help the gnome evaluate the risk. Casavir merely growled about a workout, and I knew I deserved it. Grobnar was sad, and gave me the same look Karnwyr did when I was being particularly an idiot. That hurt more than I would have thought.

After dinner, when Elondra, Sand, and Grobnar took the Construct into the Haven, Casavir and I had had our workout, which went much as I'd expected. I'd sent Karnwyr off beforehand, but he wouldn't go that far. Sand and Grobnar had the golem isolated inside the Haven all evening, as they studied it. Neeshka was having fun letting Khelgar think he might win at dice. Elanee was nearby, but she rarely socialized, even now.

Then came the worst part, telling Elondra what happened, even though my jaw socket was still sore and I still had a beaut of a shiner from earlier. I had just finished telling her, when I found myself on the ground with my jaw hurting again and briefly puzzled about how I'd gotten there. She had turned aside and was shaking.

Casavir was simply holding her, but was looking at both of us in concern.

She turned back and tears were starting to stream down her face. She hissed in the same cold voice I'd last heard in our confrontation at the end of the war. "How many more, ranger?" She snarled. "How many more screw-ups am I going to be haunted by?"

"I don't know..." I slurred, as my jaw wasn't working right. "I don't think there are any more, but I drank way too much in those days, trying for... it doesn't matter." It was breaking my new heart, but I had to say, "Should I go?"

"Yes. No! I don't know," she sighed, "I still... I need some time alone to calm down."

She went off into the darkness after briefly hugging Casavir.

He came over, and checked my jaw again and chanted yet another healing. I was giving him too much practice today.

"Thanks," I muttered, and tottered off in the opposite direction, leaving him alone at the campfire.

x x x

--Casavir

They both were in so much pain, but I was actually more worried about Bishop.

I was still very angry when we went off into the woods for our workout earlier. He was silent. Once we started, he just stood there with his eyes closed, not even trying to block. He'd stagger a step or two, but then stand up again.

After that, my anger was gone, and I stopped. His eyes snapped open, and were bleak with anger at himself. And stubborn.

Bishop muttered, "Continue," and gestured the same. Closing his eyes again with a sigh.

Tyr, this was his idea of penance. He was going to stand there, taking it, until he was knocked out, or felt he'd done enough. His haunted look had said that wasn't going to be very soon. The best thing I could do is knock him out quickly, but I really didn't know what to do.

By the time Bishop had finally passed out, I had dislocated his jaw, and could barely see through my own swimming eyes. I had hit him mostly in the jaw, hoping for the quick knockout, but it still took a while.

I checked him, and he was breathing fine. I slid his jaw back into place.

This had to be the last time. It was wrong. It wasn't a trial at arms or fair fight. I couldn't bear to do it again. I wasn't sure what Bishop would do when I refused his new martyr urges, but I was feeling ill. I began to chant a prayer for wisdom and grace, heavy hearted.

I didn't want him to wake up before I cleaned up, so I tried to calm down as I washed off. Once my face felt cooler, I cast more healings until he woke up again.

As soon as he woke, he asked, "You okay?"

"Heh. All I bruised was my knuckles on your thick head. This agreement to work out our differences does not mean I play the sadist. If you are feeling guilty, you need to find some other way... Ask for help, DAMN IT!" I roared.

He winced. But remained silent. I hadn't gotten through to him. I was still too upset, myself. "Very well, but remember it for the future. We're your family now, and you don't have to be alone."

Elondra did not take the news about the Construct well, and got a surprisingly good punch in on Bishop. She was angry, not that hurt. She knows he's not that man anymore. It was more the shock of being reminded of the old Bishop and the fresh pain of his betrayal. She would be fine in a little while. I was very glad she had gotten herself under control, as he would have just stood there and taken it, and I would have had to intervene.

I sighed and went off to talk to the others. Our watches were supposed to be tonight, but I didn't think it was a good idea. Sand had finally calmed down, and everyone else was willing to swap. It had been the first time we'd asked. I also asked Sand and Elanee to see if their animal companions could keep a discreet eye out for Bishop and Karnwyr's location. I'm sure they read the implications of that.

Sand reported that the damage to the golem was minor, mostly obedience bindings being damaged. Grobnar thought they would have it repaired and tested in a few days. Sand also told me that Bishop and Karnwyr were only twenty yards from our campfire. Karnwyr had noticed Sand's cat familiar climbing a nearby tree, but Bishop had not reacted.

I said I needed to get back to them, and excused myself.

M'Lady came back to where I had built our second fire in about a half hour, and was surprised I was here, as I would normally be on watch at the main camp by this time. I pulled her down to sit by me at the fire.

I explained, "I swapped all our watches, as this is serious. His self destructive behavior is back, and more directly than just abusing his liver and assassin hunting. If he was a paladin, I'd have him confined and put on a watch. We both have to be especially careful, as we're his supports now. He wanted me to beat him. And I suspect, he would have allowed you to do the same, if you hadn't stopped yourself."

Karnwyr told us, He thinks he's an omega, and won't talk to me now.

Elondra's eyes were wide, and then she nodded and sighed.

x x x

--Knight Commander

We talked and made a few plans for a few minutes more, but neither of us wanted him to be out by himself any longer. I dashed off to grab my bag with our bedroll and a torch for Cas to see by, and he pointed off in the direction Bishop had left in. We set off into the night.

We saw Karnwyr's eyes in the torchlight before anything else. Bishop was curled up on the ground and his head was resting on his companion. I stuck the torch in the ground nearby. His eyes were open in a dirty and streaked face, but unfocused. I was going to to hold him, long enough for Casavir to arrange the blankets and sweep the ground. We figured he'd hear me better.

I took a couple steps back to give Casavir room to arrange things. When Casavir picked him up and carried him over to where I had braced myself, Bishop whined, sounding just like his companion.

Once Bishop was in my arms, I murmured to him, saying things like "We're here," and "Hush, hush," while my arms had gotten so tired. Dammit, I should be strong enough for this. It may be late in a long day, but I've been a warrior for years.

He sighed, and turned towards me, making us sway. Panic gave me some extra strength, enough to hold him up until Casavir was done. When he was finished, we moved him over to our ready bedroll and put him down. I kept up my whispers, kicking off my boots and dropping my shirt off to the side. Once I'd laid down, I got his boots and vest off quickly, and hugged him, murmuring right next to his ear. Cas had also doffed his boots and tunic and was crooning a familiar lullaby on Bishop's other side after flipping the quilt over towards me.

After a bit, Bishop relaxed, and fell asleep for real.

I let out a sigh, I hadn't realized I was holding. I whispered for Karnwyr to wake us if Bishop woke without us, I think he agreed. I nodded to Casavir, and got closer so Bishop would feel me when he woke. Drifting off, I was worried about tomorrow's confrontation.

x x x

--Bishop

I woke up feeling the warmth of skin against mine, and feeling Elondra's breathing behind my ear, and her curled all along my back. I could hear Casavir's regular breathing in front of me. I didn't really remember anything after she marched off into the darkness. It was getting near dawn, but I didn't hear anyone else stirring in the faintest gray light.

It was supposed to have been our watches last night. Obviously, we hadn't all died, but I now had another reason to feel bad.

Casavir nudged me, and whispered, "Stop that. I traded off our watches when you didn't come back. And we finally found something useful to add to M'Lady's training, carrying heavy things."

I dimly remembered feeling the world sway last night. "You shouldn't have, Elondra!" I tried to turn to face her.

She licked my ear, and ran a hand down my side.

Suddenly, I didn't want to move at all. Hey...

Elondra interrupted that thought, "I wanted to. And it was necessary. You hold half of my heart, and I want you to take care of yourself, not just my ass... And if worst came to worst, we would have fallen on our butts and you would have woken up with several foul things to say."

I could hear her smile with that, and Casavir chuckled, before a deeper silence.

"Penance is not just allowing yourself to be beaten, atonement is much more." Casavir's voice again had that deeper timbre, and his blue eyes were now turned towards me and blazing in the dim light. "You can not just use another for that without their consent."

I nodded, unsure of what to say to them. M'Lady's voice caught, and I could feel her nod too behind me. His head fell back to the ground and eyes closed; Casavir looked normal when they reopened, though he looked tired.

He spoke again, though his voice was quieter, "It hurt to continue when you insisted yesterday."

"But only you and Elondra won't kill me when I screw up," I understood my place in the pack, even if they didn't.

There was a long pause.

"That is a mighty gift of trust, we are honored. But there are other forms of atonement. Even an eye for an eye, implies that the guilty should not have their hand cut off for violating a sumptuary law."

Elondra added wryly, "One of my worst punishments growing up, was cleaning everything that even resembled a stable, of all the swamp muck for a month. In the Mere, you can guess how much that involved. But I never did that again. I ended up cutting almost all my hair off, it took a year to get back most of the original length."

I could easily imagine her ticked, and cute with muddy brown stubble.

Casavir added, earnestly, "This is why penance is set from the outside, with whole lists and books of suggestions for appropriate balance. If people would select their own, it could be far too soft, or worse, far too harsh. Ask us, and we will be fair, or even Elanee if you want a different view."

Elondra breathed behind my ear, "We're your family and you're ours. Don't forget Karnwyr's advice. What did he think about this yesterday?"

--I'm sorry pup. I remember you speaking, but it didn't make any sense.

You didn't either. You're not an anvil. And he was crying when you fell down...

I looked at Casavir in shock, but he was just waiting for my answer. She was just breathing, also waiting for me.

"I'll try, but I'm shooting blind here," I admitted.

M'Lady said, "Everyone does sometimes. We don't want you to erase Bishop! That way lies only tragedy, like what happened with the Shadowjerk. We do want you to be happy and whole."

I lay there thinking for a few minutes, as dawn brought more light and a few louder birds. Her breath was tickling my ear. I twisted partly onto my back, and slid my arm under her. She gave a startled 'eep' when I scooped her over me, to land between Casavir and I. Much better...

x x x

--Casavir

I was glad he was past the crisis, at least enough to want to play. Not that I would deny I was feeling better, too. Elondra was almost asleep, nestled between us. I would get up for my prayers, before I rejoined them. We didn't have anything planned today. It would be perhaps as much as a tenday before any of our experts would arrive, so we could relax a bit.

Trying to imitate Bishop's old signaling, I whistled quietly. I was hoping Karnwyr would come over and settle next to Bishop. Bishop was losing himself, and I had no idea how to help.

M'Lady's eyes popped open, and we both heard Karnwyr padding over. Bishop seemed to be asleep again. The wolf settled on Bishop's other side and licked his face before settling down with his muzzle by Bishop's ear.

I thought more on it after my devotions, while they seemed to be sleeping. M'Lady had touched on it last night, he was indeed becoming cut off from his past. The problem was he was denying not just his dark side, he was even losing touch with his inner self and even his companion again.

Karnwyr had woken M'Lady and I, telling us that Bishop was awake and worried about watches. He was unhappy with his ranger. I knew neither of us wanted Bishop to forget himself while trying to grow into better man, I hoped, not a prisoner. But he would have to discover other ways to live now.

So would we all.

I got back in our bedroll, well used to her sleeping through dawn. But she stirred, rested her head on my shoulder, and brought his arm over her. We wove our fingers through his, and went back to sleep.

Grobnar's pet golem was repaired in another day, and we put it to work pounding through the wall. The first one, into the entrance room took the longest, as it was the thickest wall we went through. Next the kitchen, for fresh water and a wall into the central chamber.

Returning to that room for the first time since the cleanup after the battle, was harder that I expected. Even though I had only been trapped here for hours, and the cell pieces were in a pile by the wall, I still felt uneasy. Bishop was pale.

It was much easier now to understand how M'Lady felt in places similar to that prison. Elondra had been trapped for so many days, it had been only hours for us. And we knew the party was coming. But she was alone for so long, across planes, with no idea we were coming for her. Bishop was looking gray, and there were colored sparkles around him. I turned to look at her, and she had sparkles too, and I couldn't breathe right. I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe, thinking only of that.

x x x

--Knight Commander

Gods, both of them were looking bad, but Casavir was looking worse. Bishop had gone to his knees and was clinging to Karnwyr. Cas just plain went blank, after, trying to reach for his throat. I made it over to him, and braced him up. He was breathing, though unaware. I hadn't thought this would affect them like this. I was bitterly glad we were destroying this gods-forsaken place.

I shook Casavir by his shoulders a bit, "Guys, speak to me! Bishop, say something!"

Grobnar began playing a tune, a march.

Bishop gasped out, "Something." with the faintest smile in his voice.

I heard Karnwyr laughing. Casavir was blinking, and looking around again.

"Casavir, look at me. Everything's fine." I didn't want to shake him again, as his eyes were open and tracking me now.

He finally took a deep breath, and said, "Yes, I'm fine. We need to destroy that cell, too."

Bishop was agreeing almost violently. I looked at the rest of the party, who were being politely dense. Neeshka was doing another check for secret compartments, with Khelgar watching. Grobnar was still playing, and Sand was bundling up some more cage shards for experimentation. Elanee was watching the guys.

I admitted, "We can, if it would make you feel better. I'm fine. I think I'm pretty much past it now. Its just a cell. I'd like to free the spirit more, nothing should be bound like that for so long."

Sand spoke up, "I'm sorry Commander, I went back for that some time after your return, with a priestess I know. That spirit was taken up, finally."

"I told him you weren't ready then, might not be for a time, and that he should go ahead." Elanee spoke, "I think you are recovered as well."

A few days later, the first group of dwarves arrived, and the real demolition began. It took about four tendays for the dwarven teams and guest spellcasters to raze the Haven to only rubble with no taint. The one team of dwarves had more females than I'd ever seen before. Cas privately explained Khelgar's clan's goals one night, so we weren't that surprised when a couple of the dwarves wandered through our subcamp when we'd been playing an improvised game of tables one evening. Even Casavir found it hard not to smile.

Once it was down to bare ground, a priestess of Lathander finished by cleansing the ground. I know Casavir was happy once he could no longer detect any baleful auras. Bishop was happy he hadn't had to sell his bow. I was just happy it couldn't be a pain in my ass ever again.

x - x

A/N: I just want to thank my beta readers, for their assistance in adding a bit of polish, and point out some sad little errors. Any further errors are still all mine.