Literati songfic based off the song "Roll to Me" by Del Amitri.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or Del Amitri. Just using their masterpieces for fun…
Everything in her world had become flat, a mere shadow of the life she remembered.
She wished she could talk to her mom. She wished Lorelai could understand.
She wanted to shake her and say "Mom, can't you see! If Mitchum Huntzberger says that I can't be a journalist then I can't! All I've ever wanted to be is a journalist. I might as well just give up."
She really wished she had the guts to tell Lorelai that.
But she was smart enough to know that Lorelai would lie to her and say that she was good enough, and that she could do it, and screw the Huntzbergers!
But that's all it would be, a lie. She was quick enough to know when to give up, and Mitchum had kindly shown her the way to the door.
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She knew she'd been with Logan too long.
His over-the-top spending had once seemed sweet and romantic. Now it was annoying, flashy, tacky.
Did he understand that he didn't, no shouldn't, have to buy her affection? He should have to earn it?
Paying a guy with a coffee cart to stalk her, or breaking into the dining hall because his daddy had a key seemed like such sweet gestures at the time.
She had thought "wow this guy is willing to go to all of this trouble, just for little ol' Rory Gilmore, who grew up in a tool shed."
Boy was she wrong again. It wasn't any trouble at all. It just took a swipe of daddy's credit card.
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Her grandparents were a nuisance.
With all of her DAR commitments, and now, being forced to sleep in the main house, Rory wanted to be treated like an adult again. But she had no place to go.
Her mom's was out. In fact all of Stars Hollow was out. She couldn't, no wouldn't, stay with Logan. She was trapped…
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Look around your world, pretty baby. Is it everything you hoped it'd be? The wrong guy the wrong situation….
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Then he shows up.
He's Jess, but he's not Jess, he's Jess 2.0 he's, he's…
He's all grown up.
And that scares her….
She thinks if Jess can grow up, then why can't she?
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The right time to roll to me….
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He wrote a book. He wrote a book.
Once he leaves she flops on to the bed and eagerly opens the book, anticipating something great.
Then she realizes.
He wrote a book. He wrote a book and its all for her.
The dedication reads "To the one. You know who you are. You're the only one who ever cared, cared to see me succeed. Who loved me even when I hated everyone. This is for you, to prove to you that I did it, just like you said I could."
She flips the page and begins to devour the book.
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Look into your heart, pretty baby, is it achin' with some nameless need? Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it?
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Once she finished (it was only 200 pages after all) she lay on her bed in total shock.
In fact shock couldn't even begin to cover it. She thought she was going to pass out.
The book was them. Sure, he had used different names, but it was them nonetheless.
It was a story of their romance, had it, well, had it gone right.
It was how he imagined them now. Had they stayed together, had he stayed and graduated.
She studied, he worked for Luke and wrote in his spare time. Then after graduation, he proposed, they got married, had kids, traveled, and lived excitingly and delightfully in to old age.
The story was a touching one, a true coming of age novel, and she cried during most of it.
Cried because she wanted the life the book described.
Cried for a relationship that she never grieved.
Cried because she never stopped loving him.
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Right now roll to me…
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When they went to the bar she was embarrassed. Embarrassed that she was at a bar. Embarrassed at Logan. Embarrassed at her taste in guys. Embarrassed for Jess that he had chosen someone as stupid as her.
She was ashamed.
When he stormed out of the bar she followed him.
She wasn't prepared to get the wakeup call of her life.
After railing at her about her mom, about her grandparents, about Logan, he drops the bomb.
The question that everyone has been too scared to ask her, the question she won't even ask herself.
"Why did you drop out of Yale?!?!?!?"
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And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair, So if you want to talk the night through guess who will be there…
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She decided right then and there she was done. No more Logan. No more Emily and Richard.
Just lots of Yale. Lots of Yale and Lorelai, and Yale, and most importantly…
Lots of Jess.
She asked him to take her to her grandparents to get her stuff. There was no need for explanation, he understood.
When Emily screamed at her for bringing "that hooligan" in to the house when she should be out with Logan, Rory ignored her, her face like steel, emotionless.
She walked out of the Gilmore house and vowed never to go back.
Well, never for more than a dinner, if even that…
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So don't try to deny it, pretty baby, You've been down so long you can hardly see, When the engines starts and it wont stop raining…
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She stood in front of Lorelai's house with him for two hours.
While Lorelai and Luke slept oblivious inside Rory questioned, pondered and searched for courage.
When she finally found it, she discovered that going in wasn't as hard as she thought it would be.
Lorelai cried and cooed, proud that the prodigal daughter had returned.
Rory relished in the attention
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After she and Lorelai made up she went outside to find him asleep in his car.
She walked around to the other side and slid in next to him.
She leaned over and kissed his sleeping face.
"Wazzagaunt…" Jess stuttered, alarmed at being woken so suddenly.
"Jess," she says. "Thank you."
She kissed him again.
There's nothing more for either of them to say. There's nothing left because they understand.
Just like they've always understood.
They're meant, and the world is meant for their taking.
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It's the right time to roll to me…..