"Of Mice and Tribbles"
Chapter 1
We find ourselves in the 24th century, in a time of peace and prosperity among the different planets. The USS Enterprise and its crew are orbiting Earth to oversee the diplomatic proceedings of the first ever Intergalactic Peace Conference.
On Earth, in ACME labs, two extraordinary lab mice find themselves passing the time. The Brain, a very intelligent looking mouse, who resembles Orson Welles, is in the midst of a scientific breakthrough. Meanwhile, his odd and lanky companion, Pinky, ponders the importance of Swiss cheese. As they sit there, engrossed in their personal endeavours, an announcement begins to play over the worldwide intercom.
"Good afternoon," says the robotic voice, "We, at Moon Base Alpha, are pleased to announce the interplanetary meeting of delegates taking place tomorrow night. This meeting will bring together all of the known universe in an effort to bring peace and understanding among the planets. The delegates will meet on Earth's moon. Each delegate will be presented with a Tribble, a creature long since thought to be extinct, as a peace offering from the Klingon Empire. The lead speaker at the event will be the eminent Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. Stay tuned for the live report of tomorrow night's unprecedented event".
Looking up from his work, the Brain has a brilliant idea. Turning to Pinky, he exclaims,
"Yes! That's it! Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?!"
"I think so Brain, but I don't think Captain Kirk would like it."
"No Pinky!", cries the Brain, shaking his head. "We shall disguise ourselves as the Supreme Overlords of the Tribbles and be brought to the Moon where we will be amongst the planetary leaders. We will convince the Tribbles to do our bidding. Once they are with the leaders, they will sabotage their grain supplies, leaving their governments in chaos. They will have no choice but to approach us, the Tribble Overlords, to stop the Tribbles. They will have to obey my every command. Then we will use our newfound power to take over the UNIVERSE!"
"Egad! Brilliant, Brilliant! Oh wait, no. Brain, don't Tribbles multiply really quickly? How will we be able to find each other?" questions Pinky.
"Leave that up to me, Pinky," retorts the Brain.
The Brain, with his brilliant plan in mind, begins to prepare their disguises for the meeting, while Pinky wonders how he can get an autograph from his favourite action figure, Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Chapter 2
The next evening, dressed in their Tribble disguises, Pinky and the Brain make their way aboard the USS Enterprise to the Moon. They arrive at the storage compartment of the ship where the other Tribbles are warehoused. Inside the storage compartment, rows upon rows of Tribbles can be found. Their chattering fills the cabin, sounding like the cooing and chirping of agitated pigeons.
"Egad, Brain, they're so colourful! NARF! Can I play with them?" cries Pinky.
"No, keep it down, Pinky. Tribbles do not talk," retorts the Brain, visibly annoyed. "You will give us away if you keep this up. Sit still and be quiet, if you can manage". The Brain then turns to the Tribbles, "Good evening, oh lowly Tribbles, I am Brain, your Supreme Overlord! You must obey me."
As the chattering of the Tribbles continues, Pinky turns to the Brain, "TROZ! I don't think they understand you, Brain."
"I will speak louder, then they will understand," responds the Brain. Turning back to the Tribbles, he shouts, "I AM SUPREME OVERLORD BRAIN! YOU WILL OBEY ME! YOU WILL HELP ME TO TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!"
The Tribbles, seemingly ignoring the Brain, continue to chatter amongst themselves.
"Brain… I still don't think they understand… But they are really cute, can I keep them? NARF!" questions Pinky, as he makes his way towards a box of Tribbles.
"NO, Pinky! Stick to the plan. Lead them to the grain bin where we shall hide them until it's time!" cries the Brain.
"If you say so Brain! POIT! Say, don't they look hungry?" replies Pinky, once again approaching a box of Tribbles.
"Be quiet Pinky. I am thinking," answers the Brain, as he too makes his way to the box of Tribbles.
Chapter 3
Later that evening, as the planetary leaders are meeting, Pinky and the Brain continue to try to communicate with the Tribbles. Pinky, still hoping to get an autograph from Picard, interrupts Brain in his speech to the Tribbles,
"Do you think Captain Jean Luc Picard would give me an autograph? NARF! He really is my favourite action figure! With his bald head and dreamy accent…"
"PINKY! Stop daydreaming, I think I have finally made a breakthrough. The Tribbles have begun to eat the grain! They are obeying my orders to destroy the leaders' food supplies!" proclaims the Brain.
"Brain… They're eating it pretty fast. Doesn't it look like there are more than before?" questions Pinky.
"Quiet Pinky. I am working out the next part of my genius plan… Ouch! What was that?"
"I think the room is getting smaller! TROZ!" exclaims Pinky.
"No Pinky, that isn't possible! Although, it does seem crowded in here…"
All of a sudden, the grain bin bursts, releasing hundreds of tribbles, almost triple what had been there before. Pinky and the Brain, disguised as Tribbles, find themselves thrown out of the grain bin, and lost amongst the ever growing Tribble population. Pinky, who is flung across the room towards the exit, searches for the Brain, but is unable to find his companion.
"NARF! Brain where are you? Brain?! ZORT! NARF!"
Pinky continues to frantically search for the Brain, but finds himself in a throng of rapidly multiplying Tribbles. The room is almost full to the brim, with the weight of the Tribbles pushing on the door to the cabin. Pinky, thinking all is lost, remembers that Captain Jean-Luc Picard is nearby.
"I know... NARF! Captain Picard! He seems so nice… Always helping children on the Enterprise, especially that Wesley… He'll know what to do! NARF!"
Just then, the outline of a large looming figure appears at the door. The figure, not knowing of the impending calamity, opens the door, releasing thousands of Tribbles into the hallway.
"DOR-SHO-GHA! What is this?! TRIBBLES! I HATE TRIBBLES! Scourge of the universe!" shouts Warf, a fiercely handsome Klingon warrior, and another of Pinky's favourite action figures.
Pinky, momentarily forgetting Brain's plight, scurries towards Warf, still in his Tribble costume.
"Egad! It's you! Oh mighty Warf!"
Warf, horrified by the talking Tribble, kicks Pinky across the hall, fleeing in the other direction. Pinky, a little stunned, decides that he will have to try for the autograph later, when Warf was a little less excited. Returning to his plan to save the Brain, Pinky heads towards the turbo-lift to reach the Bridge and seek out Captain Picard. Unfortunately, a wave of tribbles flows into the turbo-lift with Pinky. Pinky, crushed by the weight of the Tribbles, begins to question their loyalty and whether they had truly understood the Brain.
Chapter 4
As the turbo-lift opens to the Bridge, releasing its payload of Tribbles, Pinky hears a loud and booming voice exclaim,
"What is the meaning of this?!"
That exquisite voice could only belong to one man thinks Pinky, as his eyes fall open the gleaming head of the illustrious Jean-Luc Picard. At the same time, Warf comes running onto the bridge, panicked and enraged. Seeing the Tribbles, he grabs his phaser, setting it to kill. As he is about to shoot, Picard shouts,
"Hold! Stop! I will have order on my Bridge," turning to Warf, Picard demands once again, "What is the meaning of this?"
As Warf attempts to stutter out a response, Pinky takes the opportunity to scurry up Picard's leg to gain his attention. Picard, mistaking Pinky for a Tribble, grabs for him, pulling off his costume. Pinky, left clutching Picard's uniform, begins his introduction.
"Oh, Captain, My Captain. NARF! We need your assistance! ZORT! I am Pinky of Earth. I have come in peace," says Pinky, as he makes the Vulcan salute. "My companion, Brain, has been swallowed up by the Tribble hoard! NARF!"
"Pardon?" responds Picard, looking for help among the crew. Riker, seeing both Warf and Picard's distress, steps over and grabs Pinky by the tail.
Pinky, looking at Riker, thinks to himself, beard or no beard, that is the question. Riker, continuing to hold Pinky by the tail, begins to shake the mouse, wondering if this is another of Q's practical jokes.
Out loud, Riker shouts, "Q, show yourself!"
Just then, Q appears, dressed as Deadpool.
"What do you want now? You have interrupted my vacation in San Diego. Ryan Reynolds has just made an appearance".
Pickard, looking at Q, exclaims, "Q, I am tired of your meddling. You have gone too far this time. Employing mice to do your bidding. That is a new low, even for you."
Looking at Pinky, Q retorts "The answer is 42!" before snapping himself back to Comic-Con.
Picard, approaching the ever upside down Pinky, asks him, "42?"
"NARF! That IS the answer! And by the way, can I have your autograph?"
Chapter 5
Days later, Pinky and the Brain find themselves back on earth, in ACME labs. Pinky, admiring his new collection of autographs, looks up to find the Brain looming over him.
"Come, Pinky. We must return to the drawing board to prepare for tomorrow night," exclaims the Brain.
"Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" probes a very confused Pinky.
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!" shouts the Brain with a maniacal laugh.
The End.