AN: After last night's episode, I was so mad! They all led us on and made us think she was making up her mind today, but no! We have to wait another week! Gir! Oh well, until then, I will add my own ender to tonight's episode through Ruthie's POV. And as much as I want them together, I am proud of Ruthie for not flying into his arms the moment he said she was "More attractive" than Jane. It shows this season's Ruthie still has SOME depth…
What do you even say to that? What is Martin Brewer thinking to tell me, little sister me, that he is in love with me? Sure, I kind of made up with T–bone today, but all we have in common is the fact we like to make out, and that is it. I pulled my toothbrush out of the cabinet and started brushing my teeth. Spit…and then brush for one more minute.
Martin and I can have deep conversations about anything and everything, and yet we still don't fight. Sure, we disagree at times. But at the end of the day, we end up understanding the other person's viewpoint. T-bone and I just fight and make up, fight and make up. What a stupid cycle! I flossed than ran up to my room. I pulled out my pajamas and slipped into them.
Martin Brewer walked back into my life last week and we kissed. It was a pretty amazing kiss, let me tell you, and then tonight, he tells me he is sorry for two-timing me with Jane. In fact, he told me I am prettier than Jane! Miss "I-could-be-a-runway-model-tomorrow," Jane. Then, he told me he used to view me as a little sister. But I grew up and so did he. He tried to convince himself he just had brotherly affection for me. He couldn't. And all because he loves me!
That feels surreal to even think, but he really does. I can have my prince charming any second I want him, but still I hesitate because of stupid T-bone. You know what I say to that? Forget T-bone! I was never in love with him! He can go off this summer with his "dad", if that really is his dad for that matter. I wish T-bone the best, but really, I don't have romantic feelings for him anymore and maybe I never did. I think deep down, I still loved Martin. I know I rushed things with T-bone. I shouldn't have. I know that every time I look at Martin. As much as I tried to forget Martin, his piercing green eyes, sweet smile, and really dark hair are there every time my eyes close.
I pulled the blankets down from my bed and climbed in almost robotically. I whispered a quick prayer and flipped of my lamp.
There was a small clicking noise at my window. Then another. And another. I looked out. It was Martin, hitting my window with pebbles.
"Ruthie!" he yell-whispered. "Come down! It is Martin! I see you peeking out the window, Curly Top! Come down!" He faked pouting. We used to have contests seeing who could pout better. I usually won, but he was getting better. I smiled. How could I resist that? I slid into black flip-flops and ran down stairs and outside.
"Why are you here?" I said walking up to him.
"Rue, I had to see you. I want to know now. Or at least I need a clue. I have been going out of my mind thinking about you today." He took my hand in his.
"Really?" He smiled and shyly nodded. "I have been thinking about you too."
"Really?" He looked like a kid in the candy store.
"Yeah. But I think we need to cover some stuff. I'm not ready to hand my heart over yet."
"Whatever you say, Ruthie."
"Not "whatever Ruthie!" I don't think you realize how much accumulative pain you have caused me, Martin." He motioned for me to sit next to him on the porch.
"I think I do. May I do the honor of listing them for you."
"If you have the time; it could take a while," I said laughing. He turned to look into my eyes.
"Offense #1: I impregnated a girl I didn't know and then hid it from you for months. #2: I led you on the first time. #3: I moved away without saying goodbye. #4: I tried to marry Sandy while I had feelings for you. #5: I dated someone so close to you: Jane. #6: I dated you and Jane at the same time. Did I get them all?" He looked at me ruefully.
"You forgot today when I finally thought I was over you and you ripped my heart back apart. Again."
"Are you really happy with T-bone?" he said with disdain.
"No. I am only happy when I am with you."
"Then is that my answer?" He looked into my eyes even deeper.
"Yes, even though I don't know why you are even interested in a junior in high school, Martin. Is it just because high school girls are easy? Is that why you are finally interested in me?"
"Oh my God, no, Ruthie! How could you even say that?"
"I don't know. You do have a son and you could have any girl at Crawford you want. It is enough to raise a girl's suspicious!"
"Yes, I most likely could have any girl I want. But the only girl that I even am slightly interested in attends Kennedy High School and so I will wait for her. Better than wait, I want to date you now. And I don't want to hide you either. I don't care if the guys on my team or my friends know. If they are really my friends, they will know how happy you make me."
"That is really sweet, but you didn't directly answer the question. What do you want from me?" He kneeled before me.
"I don't want anything from you. I don't want sex or anything like that. I love you and that you would love me too is all I want." I started crying then. (I am sleep deprived, ok. I try to avoid crying over guys loving me. It makes life easier.)
"But why me? I am nothing special." He used his thumb and wiped away my tears.
"You are special, Ruthie! You are beautiful, intelligent, witty, funny, mature, and not to mention a great kisser." He got me to laugh.
"I will give you that," I said with another giggle. "But what about your son? Be practical!"
"He is getting a new step dad that is a doctor. He will take care of Sandy and him. I will still be his Dad. You won't change anything in Aaron's life. He already loves you. I think he likes you more than me!" He laughed.
"Yeah, well how could he not?" I said sweetly with a laugh.
"I don't know," Martin said seriously. "I love you."
"I love you too, Martin."
"So I guess that means you need to tell T-bone, huh?"
"Yeah, I do, but he can wait until tomorrow," I said. He smiled and leaned in.
'Oh my gosh, Martin Brewer is kissing me!' My brain was spinning. I flashed through all my memories to all my previous kisses. This one passed them all. I have never had a kiss more gentle, passionate, and pure all at the same time.
I broke away from his lips slowly.
"Lets take this slow, okay? I don't want to do anything we will regret," he said, helping me to my feet. "Come on, go inside and I will see you tomorrow."
"I do love you Martin," I said walking toward the door.
"I love you too, Rue. See you tomorrow." He kissed me again and walked away. As soon as he left the yard, I let out a quick squeal. "He loves me," I whispered.
"So I guess we aren't back together," T-bone said, walking outside.
"How much of that did you see?"
"Well, from the time you walked out until he left."
"You were spying on me?" He can be so unbelievable sometimes.
"Hey, I thought you were my girlfriend! You are cheating on me!"
"I am not because we are over. As much as I thought I loved you, Theo, I can't. I love Martin. We can't stay together if I don't love you. That isn't fair to either of us. You are going to have to live with that." And with that, I went to bed to dream the night away.