Fade to Black, a wrestling fanfic

"Have you ever felt that you float among the people without anyone seeing you, knowing that no one needs you, no one appreciates you, nobody notices your existence even if they see you every day? Everyone knows you're there, they recognize your face but they don't care about you. They see your pain, they see you asking for help in every possible way but it is as if you were transparent, as if your pain doesn't matter. Have you seen them walk past you and ignore your misery, while they read the newspaper, take care of their dogs, hug their friends and share beautiful moments with each other? Have you seen them give love to everyone but you? That was my daily life for eighteen years, Dean."

His big chocolate eyes stared at Dean as if he could see his soul, perhaps because he could. Dean was too hypnotized by his words to realize the meaning of them... How was he supposed to know?

"My prince, the only certainty I always had is that if I were not here, no one would notice it. No one would think of me or even ask why I am not around. Nobody remembers something they don't care about or don't even know exists." Roman had the ability to leave Dean speechless. "I could fade to black and there wouldn't be a memory, nothing."

That's how it was since the afternoon they met. When Dean knew he had found the love of his life.

…

A month before...

Dean came home from school, he was happy. He could finally realize his dream. Finally he could escape from this town.

"I can't believe I got the scholarship." Dean murmured, he didn't want anyone to know. "Soon I will leave this town, I will begin a new life and-"

But when he entered his room he saw his mother holding some magazines. Dean always thought he had hidden them very well.

"You thought I wouldn't notice." The woman spat angrily. "You thought I'd never notice you're just a homo."

Dean's eyes widened.

"I can't believe I lost eighteen years of my life raising a disgrace." She looked at Dean as someone who sees something despicable. "Soon everyone in town will realize, I don't know what I'm going to do with such shame."

Dean scoffed. "Shame? You, who dedicate your life to destroy the lives of young people like me. You talk about shame?"

She slapped him. "Don't talk to me like that! Even that people are better than you, anything is better than a homo!"

"Well, if you feel so embarrassed, I don't know why you're screaming." By now your neighbors must have listened to you and your shame will be spread through the whole town by those friends of yours who laugh with you, but when you turn your back they tear you apart and ridicule you, as they do among themselves, like everyone else in this damn town!"

Dean stroked his aching cheek and left the house.

The scenery was depressing but that's what this damn place was meant to be: a prison. Dean really didn't know anyone, he never wanted to be friends with anyone. Loneliness was better company than the people of this town.

Many times he saw them to act like the best friends in public displays of love and affection and moments before fight like they wanted to destroy each other. They seemed to love each other, but it was all a lie. And Dean hated that, so he was always alone.

Things would change at the end of this month, after graduation. He would leave this damn hell.

He saw his neighbors looking at him oddly and murmuring, some of them laughing. They probably heard his mother's screams. One of the local children came up to greet him and his mother raced after him.

"Don't go near this boy." She said she took her child in her arms. "You're not going learn his bad habits."

"You should be more aware about you husband's habits, you know, about he stealing things and buying the merch at the window... but you know your priorities, ma'am."

The woman's friend started to laugh. They began to argue and shortly after they were insulting themselves in the middle of the street.

Dean shrugged and tried to walk. But he stopped when he saw someone looking at him. He couldn't distinguish his figure, the man wore a hoodie and dark clothes, but it was obvious that he was big and strong.

They looked at each other for a brief moment and the man went on his way. Dean saw the guy go to a place that he knew existed, but he had never been around, because to get there, he had to go through the window and Dean avoided that window like it was the plague.

That man was going to the graveyard.

Dean hated the damn window and everything it represented, so when he left his house never looked toward that place. However this day had done so, following the trail of this enigmatic man who, if all his life had lived here, he never knew.

And for some reason he could not explain, Dean watched the man go that lonely road. He could not help looking to the back window of his house.

There he saw his mother smiling as if she was doing nothing wrong, while receiving money from two boys who must be younger than Dean. She handed them the merch, and the skinny boys left the place. The stranger passed them and they didn't even notice. But those boys were lost in vice, they wouldn't notice anything anyway.

For the first time Dean walked down that path, following the unknown man. On arriving at the graveyard the stranger took off his hood and Dean saw that he was just a boy of his age.

He'd never seen him before because if he had seen him, he would recognize him. Who could forget someone like that?

The boy leaned against one of the tombs, one that had a climbing plant with no flowers covering almost the whole front of it. The young man was lying on the part of the tomb that was clean and... this handsome guy was inhaling something.

So that boy was one of his mother's clients, that's why he was hanging around the window.

Dean felt a great sadness to see that handsome young man, hooked on the merch that his own mother sold. In a way he felt guilty, although it was not his fault, but it was in his house that young men like this one destroyed their lives.

"Come here." The other boy patted the cold marble structure.

Dean approached shyly. He knew it was stupid, he knew the right decision would be to get away from this boy. That's why he was always alone, he preferred solitude than get together with guys like this. But here he was, following the instruction a stranger had just given him.

Standing in front of the other boy, Dean looked at him closely. "Are you going to offer me that?"

The boy was slow to answer, obviously his mind wasn't quite there. When he could focus his eyes he smiled at Dean, and despite his alienated state, that was the most beautiful smile Dean had ever seen.

"No. You're too beautiful, too pure for me to corrupt you like this."

Dean felt that the other boy's words were like chains trapping his heart, and they bound him irrevocably to this young man.

"It seems like you would never have heard that you're cute. You are, you have those big blue eyes and dimples." The young man's callused fingers caressed his face. "You are like the angels carved in marble in this graveyard so beautiful but surrounded by dead people, because people of this town are dead even if they can breathe and talk."

Dean wanted to say so many things but his mind and heart were short-circuiting. "I have not seen you here before."

"I've always lived in this town, but you've probably never seen me because my parents used to send me for long periods to a special place to cure my problem." The boy smiled bitterly. "But they finally accepted that none of my problems have a cure."

"They want to cure your addiction..." Dean dared to ask.

In response the young man bumped his nose against Dean's. "They don't mind about that, they always believed that me dying from an overdose was a quick way to get rid of a problem that has no solution... I think they were right. Anyway, what they tried to heal and they couldn't, was my desire to kiss cute kids like you."

And then, the boy held Dean's waist and slammed their lips together in a messy kiss. If words were like chains that bound him to this boy, that kiss was the padlock that sealed their destinies. Dean didn't want to and couldn't get away from this boy.

They kissed for a long time, their tongues exploring and claiming each other's mouth. Everything was so delicious and forbidden and at the same time it was so pure, honest and real.

Finally they broke the kiss. Dean felt his heart beating so fast like it could get out of his chest.

"You..." Dean didn't even know who this boy was. "You are…"

"I am... yours." The other kid smirked. "And you're mine, pretty boy. But if you need a name, it's Roman."

Dean felt his cheeks burning. He wanted to scream so badly that he too was his, but he was too nervous. All this was so unreal. "I'm Dean, I..."

"I have seen you, you are the son of the woman who sells drugs. Ironically, you are the only clean boy in this town, you are like the flower that is born in the interstices of the stone." The raven-haired boy looked at Dean with such intensity that the auburn-haired boy felt he was being undressed.

Dean couldn't believe that the bearer of such words was a boy corrupted by drug addiction. Roman was a very beautiful soul trapped in the neglect of this damn town.

Maybe I can help you quit this horrible vice and maybe we can both get out of here someday.

And reality hit him. Dean was about to leave. In a month he would finally fulfill his dream of leaving this little hell.

"I have not seen you at school." Dean said something nervous. "I have not actually seen you anywhere."

"It's because you don't come to the graveyard, this is where I always am. I don't go to school, I don't remember the last time I went." Roman looked at Dean as if he saw something sacred.

"But... school is the only way we have to leave this awful place." Dean insisted. "You should come, it's never too late to start and-"

"Everybody says it's impossible for any of us to get out of this damn town... and they're right." Roman said thoughtfully. "I will never leave this place."

"Your soul is too beautiful to stay trapped here. You don't belong here and neither do I." Dean said with anguish.

"You're right, you don't belong to this town." Roman said softly. "And I... now I belong to you."

Roman hugged Dean and the boy buried his face in the chest the other young man. Everything was so fast, they were two desperate and cornered souls who had found themselves in the worst of circumstances. And yet, they both knew they were meant to be.

…

And after that meeting, many more followed. Dean didn't need to study, he was almost graduated, so after school, he and Roman met in the graveyard, where they would talk about everything and nothing and share more sweet kisses.

"Why are you always here?" Dean was curious about Roman's obsession with the graveyard.

"Look at the town, my prince." Dean blushed so much every time Roman called him that. "I don't know what you see, but what I see is very sad, just bunch of people who wander aimlessly like shadows and their lives are as empty as their hearts. The streets are reflections of their souls, dark and dirty, no flowers growing or birds singing. This town is full of people who look at you but are unable to see you. That's why I like the graveyard because they only come here when they lose someone and never again return."

Roman smiled sweetly, but his sweetness had some bitterness, a little hint of sadness and a emptiness, a deep emptiness, and for some reason that last one overwhelmed Dean's heart.

"Now look at this graveyard. Here are beautiful and sad stories that nobody knows, nobody remembers or cares about. Here are powerful memories, memories that are more valuable than the lives of many people. The tombs are surrounded by flowers and trees, the tombstones have beautiful phrases, poetry that expresses feelings that even death can't destroy. The sculptures are beautiful and the cold marble has more life than the eyes of the people who live in the town, everything around is art. This is the most beautiful place in this town."

Roman spoke with such intensity that Dean felt mesmerized.

"Everything you say is so beautiful. Your words are the reflection of your soul, you are beautiful inside and out." Dean said nervously.

I don't understand why you're killing yourself with those drugs.

And as if guessing his thoughts, Roman was playing with a little bag in his hands. Dean gently placed his hands over Roman's.

"Please don't." Was Dean's softly plea.

"My parents did this the wrong way." Roman dropped the bag on the floor. "Little by little, you are saving me from all the monsters that enslaved me. It is never too late to redeem a soul."

Roman crushed the bag with his shoe mixing that horrible substance with the soil of the cemetery, burying the horrible monster. Dean smiled, even if it was only a small step, it was a progress for Roman, maybe he could leave the horrible way he coped his demons.

…

They spent their afternoons kissing, talking about their yearnings. Dreaming of a different reality in which they were surrounded by different people, where they could be free and love was not bound by rules and conventions.

Roman kissed Dean's neck, the boy had begun to moan out of control. He wanted this so bad. However the graveyard wasn't the right place. Dean didn't want this to happen here.

But he definitely wanted this to happen.

Their crotches rubbed together, causing a delicious friction. Dean straddled Roman's lap.

"Roman, I... I want..." Dean wanted so bad to say it but he wasn't brave enough.

Roman stopped. "It's not going to happen here."

"Then... where?" Dean said nervously.

Even if Dean had understood Roman's fascination with the graveyard, he wanted to do this in other place. Roman seemed too at ease surrounded by dead people and their memories. And this frightened Dean.

"Here". Roman put his hand on Dean's chest.

"I don't understand". Dean was puzzled.

"There are many ways to make love. The most important requirement is to love." Roman smiled.

How Dean loved that sad, sweet smile.

Dean felt his heart beat in despair at the realization he just had. He loved Roman.

"Your heart beats so fast. This is what I love most about you." And the way Roman said this and the little sparkle in his usually empty-looking eyes was enough for Dean to understand what Roman didn't say with words. "Your heart is so full of life, of hope, you have a beautiful and bright future away from this little hell. You will be successful and you will get what I longed for all my life."

"And what is that?" Dean was always hypnotized by Roman's words.

"Happiness." Roman said with such eagerness.

Dean felt his heart breaking.

"That's why you use drugs... Because you're not you happy..." Dean said with sadness.

"But I no longer use them." Roman emphasized. "That's why you got me to get rid of those chains that tied me up."

It was true, Roman had destroyed the drugs at Dean's request.

"You are happy, now you are." Dean felt his cheeks wet with tears.

"I am. You got me to feel two things that in my short life I thought didn't exist." Roman took Dean's face in his hands and wiped away the tears. "Love and happiness."

Dean was crying copiously, but a smile lit up his face.

"You also made me feel the same, Roman. With you I found love and I am so happy at your side."

They both kissed. Everything was so beautiful, like a fairy tale where two lonely and misunderstood souls had found a happy ending.

"There are many ways to make love. Acknowledging that you feel love is one of them." Roman caressed Dean's face with devotion. "Looking at your blue eyes and seeing the sea and the sky is another way. Being blessed by your kisses and feeling your heart beat when I touch your body is another way."

Dean was hypnotized. He felt that his whole soul was filled with joy. Love was something so powerful and inexplicable.

"To see you opening your heart and be able to witness of all the beauty that inside is another way. To hold you in my arms and be able to feel myself alive is another way of making love."

"So we've made it many times." Dean buried his face in Roman's neck.

"And we will make it forever, because love is an act of the heart and not only of the body, love lives in every thought, every good deed executed in the name of that feeling, in the memories. All those are ways to make love."

"I love you so much," Dean said with deep emotion and hug the other boy tightly. "I love you beyond the physical, I love you in every little thing, in my desires to be better, in the memories of our encounters in this place, in the kisses we share."

"Now you understand, my prince." Roman whispered.

…

By sunset Dean was dressed in an elegant suit. He had worked during the holidays to buy it and be able to go to the ceremony of his graduation. It was beautiful and depressing at the same time. Not just because this meant he had to leave the town and to leave Roman, which Dean was now questioning. Who leaves the one he loves? But because he saw with sadness that there were only four boys graduating and three of them had no plans for their future.

"I have a bright future at my feet and yet I don't want to leave. I can't leave the love of my life in this hell where loneliness will consume his beautiful soul."

Dean looked at his room, a small suitcase with his few belongings was in a corner, he was supposed to go tomorrow. Everything was ready for his journey, everything but his heart. And at that moment Dean made his choice.

"I'm not going to leave... I'm not going to leave Roman here."

Dean watched the sun set on the horizon from his window.

"I don't even know where he lives. I don't know his last name. I don't know his family... What do I know about him?"

And the answer came to him as clear as the love in his heart.

"I know that he loves poetry. I know he can see beauty where others only see death and oblivion. I know that his soul is more beautiful than his body and that behind his addiction and his apparent disdain for everything, there is a heart full of love."

Dean smiled at that realization and ran out of his room to get out of his house.

"I know he loves the sunset. I know he loves art and he can see my soul like no one else can. I know that he is very lonely and has suffered a lot and nobody has loved him and although he doesn't say it, his soul cries out for someone to understand him and finally love him. I know what his lips don't say but his eyes scream."

Dean ran down the alley to the only place he wanted to go, the graveyard.

"I know that he loves my soul, he loves even what he can't touch. I know everything about him, the things no one ever cared to know."

When he arrived he saw Roman sitting on the same gravestone he always found him. He was dressed differently. No hoodies, no dark apparel. He wore jeans and a white T-shirt. Dean could see his arms and one of them was completely tattooed . His hair had grown a lot in a month, and he was growing his beard and mustache. Roman was glowing like, he was so beautiful.

But the most beautiful thing was his smile. Dean thought he was hallucinating: Roman was happy. Yes, he claimed to be happy from the day he confessed his love for Dean but his smile and his eyes still emanated a little sadness and emptiness.

Now his eyes were bright and his smile was pure happiness.

"Wow, you're more beautiful than always." Dean mirrored Roman's happiness.

"It is what you have achieved, my prince. You redeemed my soul and finally I am happy and free." Roman stepped down from the tombstone and hugged Dean. "I'm glad you're dressed for this special occasion. It's time to leave..."

Dean's heart skipped a bit. How did Roman know that? This was the only issue that Dean never touched. Anyway it didn't matter, he wasn't leaving the town, he would never leave the man he loved.

"How do you know I'm leaving?" Dean looked at Roman wide eyed.

Roman smiled. "I know that you will leave tomorrow and it is something that you must do, you must fulfill your destiny and be happy. But it's not you I'm talking about, it's me." Roman's ghosted his fingers on Dean's skin and the auburn-haired young man looked at Roman with intensity.

"Where are you going?" Dean felt so desperate.

"To a beautiful place that I thought was not for me, not after everything that happened to me." Roman's smile didn't show sadness, he looked calm, even relieved. "I could never have done it without you. You are so special and I knew it when I saw you in that alley. When unlike the rest of the people and my own family, you looked at me and didn't keep walking, you didn't leave me behind, you didn't ignore my cry for help. And with that you changed everything."

"I never understood how it was that nobody could see you, how it was that nobody could see your beautiful soul. As you always say you went unnoticed." Dean also put his hands on Roman's face and both were there holding the other's face and looking at each other with such love.

His big chocolate eyes stared at Dean as if he could see his soul, perhaps because he could. Dean was too hypnotized by his words to realize the meaning of them... How was he supposed to know?

"But that's not true. I am here and I see you, I see your pain and I want to change that. I love you and you are in my heart. If you were not any more I would never forget you." Dean said with emotion. "That's why I decided to stay, I won't leave. I'm not like everyone else."

"I know, you're different and that's why you can see me." Roman looked at him tenderly. "This graveyard is full of people with sad and beautiful stories, full of souls who have not been able to rest in peace because they were never happy, and who died with a great emptiness in their hearts to know how insignificant they were. They died with their hands outstretched for help, a help they never received. Now they wander around this graveyard so aimless, waiting for a redemption that will not come and making the same mistakes again and again."

Roman always spoke this way and most of the time Dean understood the meaning of his words, but tonight, under the moonlight, he was puzzled.

Roman kissed his lips and Dean knew this kiss was different. Deeper, more meaningful, more needy and also much more loving than the previous ones. Dean could not think anymore, just gave in that kiss and remembered Roman's words, this was another way to make love.

There was something magical about this night and Dean felt it in every pore of his being. He felt his soul connecting with Roman's in a deeper level. He felt as if they both danced in a small cloud, as if they could float. Roman let go of Dean and he felt that he was losing his strength, luckily the raven-haired young man was holding him.

Roman gave him a beautiful smile. "You don't know it yet but you will know soon. Dean, you have saved one of those wandering souls."

Roman took Dean's hand and moved all the grass that covered the tomb. Dean thought he would faint.

The words carved on the marble said: Roman Reigns 1997 - 2015

"But we're in 2017..." Dean could barely speak.

This could not be real, Roman could not be dead. He could not be a ghost. This was absurd.

"I've been wandering here for two years. Just like many other souls who have been here for centuries and now are looking at us." Roman held Dean tight. "I was almost invisible when I was alive and it's just poetic justice that when finally someone could see me, was two years after my death. You're so special Dean, you're so special that you can see my soul, you can talk to me, you can touch me. Two years ago I was doing the same thing you found me doing the day we met. It was the only thing that gave me peace because I was trapped in the midst of the apathy everyone felt towards me and the contempt of my family for being who I am, my self-pity, my misery. It was not the best decision and I don't blame anyone for my bad deeds, I made my bed and I lay in it."

Roman gave a long sigh. "A night like this, two years ago I was dying of an overdose. It was not an accident, Dean... That night, I took the necessary dose to end my miserable existence."

Dean was crying disconsolately as he heard that story. He couldn't speak and couldn't even stand, it was Roman who held him.

"And even that act wasn't only a desire to free my soul from a life that had no meaning, it was also a way to take revenge on everyone. But that was useless." Roman admitted. "Like every death that is loaded with resentment and pain. Like every death caused by one's own hand, my soul couldn't rest in peace. I had to see how my death meant nothing to anyone. My neighbors didn't notice, the boys at school never knew, nobody asked for me, no one noticed my absence. My parents left my body in a coffin in this same place and never returned, they continued their lives while I couldn't rest in peace."

"People can't be so cruel, they can't!" Dean screamed and cried desperately.

"They don't know they are, they will never know. People have their own problems and their own demons, and empathy is something that not only comes from others, it is something that one must also generate. I came to the conclusion that I am part of the people who are born faceless, other people's eyes can't see us. Our pain, our tragedies, our feelings are invisible. We're meant to be lonely souls, but you know that feeling very well, you're one of those souls, Dean."

Dean nodded, it was true. Dean preferred solitude, he always had that feeling of not belonging to anything, to don't fit, until he met Roman.

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground." Dean mumbled.

"But unlike me, you are strong and you have been able to deal with loneliness in another way. You fought until you could leave this little hell, I was a coward and I couldn't. You and I lived similar situations, but I chose badly and until a month ago I was paying for my bad decisions."

"But then... where do you go?" Dean said through tears.

"Where I was supposed to go if I had not finished with my own life." Roman kissed Dean's cheek. "You saved me Dean, my soul was meant to never rest in peace, not to achieve happiness and you changed that. Don't feel sad, you've done something beautiful. Besides, I'm not leaving you. When you walk down the streets, the wind will sing our love in rebel songs and we will always be together, in every memory, in every smile, in every heartbeat."

"And meanwhile?" Dean finally regained some of his strength and hugged Roman. "What do I do with my life meanwhile?"

"Fulfill your dreams, be the person you were meant to be. Change the lives of other dead souls, not of those in a graveyard, but of those who walk and breathe, but their hearts and souls are colder than the corpses in this pantheon. You have that power, it is in your soul."

Roman wiped Dean's tears and looked at him tenderly. Dean was trying to keep his eyes on Roman.

"And you Roman? What will you do?"

"I will wait for you, in the place where we can be together. I promise you that." He said with love. "Now it's time to say goodbye. Until our souls are back together, now that you have redeemed my soul, you and I will see each other again, that is another way of making love. Just be a goiod guy, be happy, make others happy and love again. Love again because your heart and soul are so pure that you can't be alone. When your time here is done, we will meet again."

Dean looked up at the sky and the moon shone brightly over the graveyard, a soft breeze rocked the treetops, and the crickets sang. Roman's skin glowed softly and he looked so beautiful, the calm, the peace of his soul gave him a unique look, it was then that Dean realized it.

"This was my mission before I left this horrible place. To save you, to prepare everything for when we get back together." Dean smiled despite the sadness of the moment. "If the pain of my broken heart serves to save your beautiful soul, then it was all worth it. I love you Roman and I will always love you and I will do my best, I will do every good deed possible so that we can be together again."

"And I will be supporting you while I await your return to me." Roman kissed for the last time that boy who saved his soul. A kiss that sealed a promise, they would see each other again.

"Thank you for saving me." Roman said as his body faded... "Thank you for looking at me and seeing me, thank you for not passing by and ignore me. I'll be waiting for you, I love you."

Dean waved his hand as he watched the love of his life disappear. "See you, love of my life. We will see each other again and we will never part."

A beautiful light flashed for a moment and Roman was gone. Dean looked up at the sky and a star broke from the sky and ran through the black cloak of the night.

Shortly after Dean removed his jacket and used it to clean the gravestone. It was then that he saw the epitaph.

"Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking down
I was me, but now he's gone…"

It was a sad message, Dean didn't know who wrote it, but he would ask Roman when they saw each other again. However, those words began to fade, all vanished but Dean's blue eyes were no longer surprised by the supernatural of what was happening, he saw how those words were replaced by a new message.

"I will meet you in the next life,
Where we can be together
I will wait till then in heaven
I promise you."

Dean smiled and the plant Roman had removed grew up again around the gravestone, but this time it didn't cover the words on the marble. The plant blossomed with blue flowers and they seemed to glow in the middle of the night. Dean smiled, that night was magical, his last night in that town. The auburn-haired young man took one of the flowers and inhaled, they had a delicious scent.

"I'll come back to visit this place when I finish the first semester in college. I'm going to go back to this town every time I can to take care of your last home, my love." Dean said with a sad smile.

…

At the bus station, Dean stared at the small flower in his hand, though it had been more than twelve hours, it was still beautiful, there was no sign of wilting.

"This flower is like our love, it will not wither... it will not die, it will not fade to black..."

I'm sorry...

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