Hi, author panderingtoyou here. So, I was going to honour a fanfic request I had received earlier this year…

Arnold descends into the basement of Phoebe's home.

"Oh Arnold!" Phoebe cried. "Thank goodness you're here."

Anyway, the request was that I write a fanfic based on the Lois Lane comic "I Am Curious Black".

"No problem," said Arnold. "What's wrong?"

Only…I've never even read the comic. I mean, I've seen the fanart of Helga and Olga by Tanita-sama (holla at ya girl, give her a watch and fav on Deviantart)…

Phoebe dragged Arnold over to a corner of the basement where two giant machines stood; both machines appeard to be smoking.

"I had invited Helga and Gerald over to test my new project for the science fair, and—"

"Wait a minute," Arnold cut her off. "You EXPERIMENTED on our friends?!"

Phoebe bit on her fist and looked at Arnold guiltily, on the verge of tears.

At that moment, the door to one of the machines simultaneously opened. A figure slowly emerged from the smoke.

And so…uh, yeah. This is what you're gonna get. Enjoy?

Arnold's jaw dropped. Phoebe gasped.

"Helga?"

Indeed, at first glance, the person that emerged looked like the 4th grade tyrant, Helga G. Pataki. After all, she was wearing her trademark pink dress and signature pink bow. But there was three noticeable differences.

Her skin was a deep shade of brown.

Her blonde pigtails had transformed into two large dark brown afro puffs at the side of her head.

"Wait a minute," Arnold said. "What happened to Gerald?"

"Ugh..." groaned the figure from the machine. "You're looking at him?"

"GERALD?"

Phoebe fainted.

The person shook their head. "Criminy, I feel like my head's been crammed in a vice….tell me about it…" they said, as though they were having a conversation with themselves.

"Uh…guys…" Arnold asked, still in shock. "Am I talking to Gerald or Helga right now?"

"What, are you blind?" snapped the person. "I'm Helga!...wait a minute…why is Helga G. Pataki's voice coming from my mouth…oh….oh, oh NO…."

Phoebe slowly came to. "Huh…what…?"

Arnold approached his friend(s) cautiously. "Don't panic, you two…"

"Don't panic?! What do you mean don't panic! I'm inside the body of tall-hair boy!...Oh, you're one to talk, Pataki, I…wait, Arnold….how come I know so much about you all of a sudden? Why do I think your eyes shimmer like two emerald lagoons?..."

Arnold blinked. "What?"

Helga/Gerald placed their hands to their skull. "Get out of my head! Get out of my head!"

Phoebe passed out again.

I wish I could tell you that Phoebe eventually found a way to revert Gerald and Helga into their former bodies. And I wish I could tell you that through this experience, Gerald and Helga understood one another and became good friends, and that Gerald eventually helped her express her feelings to Arnold….but such is the tragedy of the one-shot.

THE END

(Special thanks and sincerest apologies to retro mania)