Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, I own nothing, the characters belongs to Yun Kouga, no profit is being made.

A/N: Hope you like it. I know it's not exactly original, I wrote it about 3 months ago and forgot about it. Oneshot complete, if you enjoyed it,please review. If you want to flame, please be clear and precise.

And now, Loveless:

Ritsuka woke up. And the first thing he noticed… was he wasn't in his bed.

He rubbed at his eyes as he felt the glare of the near noon sun approaching through a window, and stumbled out of whatever alien room he was in.

Truth was, he didn't have a clue. But he would have to figure that out later.

When he stepped out of the room in a daze, he saw to cheshire-grins by two boys, one with pink hair, and one with blue hair, who looked to have been originally sitting on a couch and watching TV.

"It looks like Sou-chan kept you up pretty late for you to be like this." The pink haired one said in an insinuating voice.

He flinched suddenly as a tall frame blocked his view of the two boys. Looking up, he saw a man with stern… yet soft features, and long blonde hair. "Ritsuka, you should dress." He murmured softly.

He looked bewildered… he hadn't realized he was naked. But the next words to come out of his mouth sounded more like "Who are you?"

And suddenly the laughing behind the man stopped, the man's features seemed to be intently searching his own face, and time itself had paused for those few little words.

"Ritsuka…" The tall blonde man murmured. Before he could say anything he pushed him into the room, and had him on his back in bed, his arms above his head and pinned with one of the blonde man's elegantly firm hands.

"Do you know who you are?" He asked briskly, and Ritsuka didn't know why his body wasn't rejecting such an intimate position… why wasn't he uncomfortable?

Soubi looked at the trembling body beneath him, no longer the body of an angry twelve year old, no. It was the body of a sixteen-year old adult; it was the body of his sacrifice and his lover.

But his eyes were the eyes of Seimei's little brother.

And they were frightened and confused.

"Get off me! Of course I know who I am. Who are you?!" It as more of a desperate plea than a question of anger or demand.

"And how old are you?"

"I'm nine, idiot! Answer my damn questions! Where am I? Where's Seimei?!"

That's when Soubi leaned back. His eyes were grave, his face was ashen. He had lost Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka…" He whispered, almost on the verge of tears, "You are sixteen, this is your home. You live with me, because your mother committed suicide."

Ritsuka lost his lungs… was that why wasn't he breathing anymore?

The adult was unforgivable in his listing of realities Ritsuka wished he could have denied.

"My name is Soubi… I was your brother's fighter, and now I am yours. You are my sacrifice. Do you know these words?"

"… Yes…" He whispered hoarsely, but then surprised himself. "Wait... I don't know how... I do though…"

Soubi was already formulating plans.

Absent-mindedly, Ritsuka was reaching up to scratch his ears, a usual comfort.

His hand was met with no resistance as he strung them through his hair.

His eyes widened. He shrieked. "W…where are my… where are my ears?"

Soubi continued relentlessly. "Your name is loveless. You have the sign on your tongue, as do I. We now share the same name, although before I shared the name beloved, the name of your brother."

"My brother would have told me…"

"Seimei didn't die until after we killed him. He tried to torment you after he staged his death, and he came back with his true sacrifice. But we killed him in a spell battle, and now we live together with the two zeroes, another fighter and sacrifice pair."

The alarm rang suddenly. Soubi looked at it. "Now get dressed, Ritsuka, we have somewhere to go."

"W…what? You must be crazy! No...You're a… you're an idiot! How... how can you say such things…" Ritsuka stood, not caring he was naked, his eyes flowing, his fists clenched, his face flushed a frustrated red. He was just a lost and confused nine year old boy.

Soubi walked over and took the young adult's chin in his hand, raising it, he was met with no resistance, but confused anger gave way to weary curiosity.

And then Soubi bent down, and touched his lips to his sacrifice, as chaste a kiss as their first meeting.

Only Ritsuka responded a bit more… because he didn't try to pull away, because even though Soubi had hold of his elbow, he didn't have to use it to reel him back in.

Because in his arms, Ritsuka naturally relaxed… and he couldn't fight how his hand stopped clenching, releasing its anger, releasing all tension.

Could he trust Soubi? His body seemed to. And it seemed he had been telling the truth so far.

When Soubi pulled back, he walked out of the room and said he would be back a few minutes late to see if Ritsuka had dressed.

He allowed himself to be given breakfast cooked by one of the 'Zeroes' as they were called, and then allowed Soubi to drive him somewhere in silence.

Why would his mind make him miss so many years?

Seven years had made a lot occur. And he couldn't recall a single thing.

Soubi didn't ask when his sacrifice began to shed silent tears as he looked away from the road too the sidewalk.

He parked where they always parked on the first Sunday of every month at noon.

He walked out, and then opened the door for Ritsuka, who was only moving as a second instinct. Soubi took his hand, more for guidance than comfort, and led him into the graveyard.

Ritsuka didn't take in his surroundings until they stepped in front of two tomb stones.

They were not elaborately decorated, as some around them, but he knew the owners of the plots wouldn't have wanted any sort of decoration anyways.

His mother and his brother…

Aoyagi Seimei

Beloved

The only decoration was his name. His 'Sacrifice' name.

Why didn't he shed tears for them? Why didn't he feel sad for their loss?

It was his mind, but not his body, apparently. The Ritsuka of seven years still controlled his body.

"I'm sorry, Soubi." He whispered, as he looked down.

Soubi didn't respond.

When Ritsuka had stopped paying attention to the two graves, Soubi took it as a sign to leave, and lead his sacrifice back to the car.

The traces of their bond were still strong, he felt it. But it would not do to enter a battle now, not when Ritsuka was so emotionally and mentally unstable.

He would make sure they avoided any battles for now.

When they got back 'home', Ritsuka just sat on the bed he woke up in, and looked through the window.

Soubi left him alone as he searched for what he wanted.

Yes, he found it.

He climbed down the steps of the attic and had in his hands two boxes, and one thick photo album which looked fairly recent due to its lack of dust.

He sat it on the floor beside the bed. "These are pictures you took in the past two years." He said, handing Ritsuka the weighted album. "And these are all the pictures you took before that."

So I don't forget…

Ritsuka looked at the album in his hands as if it were alien. He waited until Soubi had left the room to look through it.

When Soubi stepped out, he sighed. Youji and Natsuo mirrored his mood with their frowns. "When the sacrifice forgets everything, what happens to the fighter?" Natsuo murmured thoughtfully.

Youji looked at Soubi with concern. "What are you planning to do?"

"I'm hoping Ritsuka recognizes the pictures and brings back some of his memories. He somehow has retained memory of what a sacrifice and fighter are, and his body remembers me… but if these pictures do not work after a few days…"

"Didn't that lady yell at you?"

"She may be the only option left. She knew Ritsuka's memory problem before."

"What if it can't be fixed?"

Soubi didn't answer.

Ritsuka flipped through the book… he looked so much older…

Like Seimei almost…

Only he knew it wasn't Seimei who looked back at him. The eyes were different. The smile was more open. He looked truly happy.

Pictures of him and Soubi together in a park, Soubi kissing his cheek from behind, probably right when the camera was about to take the picture.

Pictures of Ritsuka between Youji and Natsuo, who are hugging him with chef hats on and spatulas in hand, next to a grill.

A picture of him studying from a big volume, and the next picture was him looking up annoyed and angered at the take of the photo for the disturbance.

There were pictures of other people too. A girl labeled 'Yuiko' scrawled on the corner of her test paper, which showed 100 A on a math exam for what looked like year 8.

A picture of the same girl being hugged from behind by a slightly taller male with black hair and glasses. They both had no ears. They were both adults, and they looked extremely happy at the time the picture was taken.

There was a picture of only Soubi, a close up of his face. It was content and relaxed, and his eyes seemed to not look at the camera but at the person taking it. A soft white light streamed from behind his somewhat messy bed hair, he was lying on a soft white pillow.

It was a look of love and adoration for the picture taker.

He shut the book closed. He would finish it later. Maybe it would be better to start earlier…

He took out other albums.

There he was looking about eleven or twelve, Soubi hugging him with one arm, in a park… that was the first picture he saw, and it frightened him.

As he moved on from album to album, he saw him at a party for being accepted into some academy, Yuiko and the tall dark haired boy were there, and so was Natsuo and Youji, and Soubi, and himself, and some blonde man he didn't know, as well as a young woman who looked as if she should have lost her ears by now, a mousy woman who looked shy but happy all the same.

Who were these people?

A picture of his mother's grave. Then of Seimei's a few photos later.

How he wished he could remember.

When Soubi walked into the room an hour later, he found Ritsuka on the bed in fetal position, asleep, but with dried tear tracks on her face.

"Loveless…" He whispered in a loving tone.

He took the photos off the bed, and stroked the boy's cheek before climbing into bed behind Ritsuka, and hugging the form to him preciously.

"My Ritsuka…" He breathed.

The only one he had ever been allowed to own; the only one that had accepted him for who he was and had wanted to belong to him as well.

"Suki Dayo."

Ritsuka was hazily awake... he felt Soubi get on the bed and put his arms around him, but he didn't move. He couldn't. He needed to feel the touch. Why?

He fell asleep again shortly, and so did Soubi.

The next morning, the alarm clock rang at eight-thirty.

Ritsuka went to automatically raise his hand and turn it off. But Soubi was there first, and he settled back comfortably next to Ritsuka, to enjoy the memory of what once was at least for a little while.

"Soubi… we have to get up… it's Monday…" He moaned… wait, where did that voice come from?

Soubi didn't speak until Ritsuka was halfway out of the bed and he had grabbed his elbow. "You're not going to school today, Ritsuka." He murmured, and pulled the teen back down to his chest.

Ritsuka only struggled for a few seconds before realizing it was useless. "Why?"

"Because it would shock your friends to much if they saw you right now… and you couldn't deal with it either…" He didn't open his eyes.

He hated it, but he had to do this. He drove Ritsuka, in a tense silence, to the office.

"Why?!" He had cried out. "What's wrong with me? I'm not crazy! You won't accept me just because I don't remember you?!" Were the screams heard that morning.

Youji and Natsuo winced as Soubi had to pin the boy to the couch to keep him from hurting himself. A broken vase and lamp lay forgotten on the floor along with some discarded pillows.

"It's only to see if we can find out what happened." Soubi explained calmly. "It's only to find out more."

He had lost his lover it seemed, to have a child in his care.

"I'm not going!"

"Ritsuka…" He sighed wearily as he had to use force to keep him from running outside in the freezing cold in naught but his cotton pajamas.

He embraced the child to him, hugging tightly, letting his warmth spread into the cold heart, the shivering presence in his arms calming somewhat, but still very frightened and still very confused.

Ritsuka had been hurt.

There was a bitter aftertaste of their fight remaining in the car now as they pulled into the driveway of the building.

Soubi had gotten into an argument with this woman when he had removed Ritsuka from her care after his mother died.

"He needs my help now more than ever! Who knows how much mental damage this could leave if he represses his mother's death? Who knows how much you're leaving unresolved if you withdraw him now?!"

"He only needs a real home. I will take him there."

"The law won't allow it! I'll make sure…"

"It has already been settled that I have adopted him. I am his guardian now."

"He needs a real family with stable adults and a loving…"

"He only needs me, Sensei." He had cut her off curtly, in a cold tone. And then he had left the room, and her shocked into silence.

Ritsuka hadn't questioned him then. Now the teen was full of questions that none, except perhaps this woman, could answer.

He walked into the office, and told Ritsuka to wait a moment as he stepped inside the room.

She went into shock once more, and paled, as if she were seeing a ghost.

"You're back…"

"And I have brought Ritsuka with me."

"Why?" He had sounded so confident, four years ago when he had removed Ritsuka from her care. Why would he bring the child now, when surely he must have developed fine without her help.

"He has lost his memory again."

She was silent. She had other appointments… but this…

"Bring him in." She said quietly. He nodded.

A few minutes later she was face to face with only a shadow of the child she had once counseled.

He was earless, an adult. He was tall and beautiful. His eyes shone.

He didn't know her in this state; he looked down at his feet, a bit lost, a bit frightened.

"Ritsuka, you don't know me anymore, do you?" She asked calmly.

"No, I'm sorry, Sensei."

"That's fine, I understand. I can hardly recognize you, as I haven't seen you in over four years or so."

"Why was I here before?"

"Because your mother wanted you… not the Ritsuka whom you cannot recall, but you right now, she wanted you back when you first lost your memory."

"She's dead now." He said… he didn't know why.

"Yes."

"Is that why I'm here now… Sensei? To get the other me back?"

"No. Agatsuma has expressed only concerns as to why it happened, and if it poses any harm to you."

"Oh…"

"Ritsuka, how old do you feel you are?"

"Well… I think I'm nine, but my thoughts feel more like an adults, and my body is more like an adults. So, Sensei, I don't really know."

Soubi didn't wait in the waiting room.

Instead he called his mentor. He hated to do it, but sometimes these situations required such things.

Ritsu answered the phone immediately.

"Soubi." It had been a while since he had seen this id.

"Loveless has lost his memory. He doesn't remember who he is. There is no explanation for the cause."

"Does the bond still exist?"

"Yes, but it is weakened."

"It is no matter, you might use the bond."

"He doesn't recognize his name."

"The only way to gain his memory is make him remember he is loveless. He was not truly loveless until you found him. Make him remember."

Three weeks later, and Ritsuka as face to face with yet another stranger.

He hadn't been able to bring himself to go to school. He knew no one but everyone seemed to know at least something of him.

Soubi had been nothing but comfort, meanwhile. Ritsuka just wished the sad look in Soubi's eyes would leave.

The male zeroes kept him company when Soubi left to work. They had had a life, it seemed, before Ritsuka had gone and forgotten who he was.

Youji and Natsuo took him around the city, much to Soubi's chagrin. Soubi had always been protective of his sacrifice, but now more than ever he wanted Ritsuka to remain within familiar boundaries.

Three weeks and no sign of his returning made Soubi desperate.

And so he went with Ritsuka to Ritsu-sensei.

And that was who Ritsuka faced now, the stranger.

He stood before them, his desk behind them, and Soubi's hand comfortable rested on his shoulder, reassuring Ritsuka he didn't have to run, and that Soubi would protect him.

Ritsu-sensei didn't speak. He didn't make any movements. He just stood there and looked at Ritsuka, the boy he had never seen before so up-close.

He turned away, and walked behind his desk. "Soubi is your fighter. If you truly wish to return as Loveless, you will remember your name, if you truly are bonded with Soubi, you will be able to remember your name without anyone else's aid."

He looked at Soubi. "He may stay in a dorm with Youji and Natsuo, so long as he does not disturb the other students, and he will return to you when he remembers."

"No."

"You came for my help and I am giving it to you."

"I…it's okay, Soubi." Ritsuka spoke up. "It's fine. Youji and Natsuo will take care of me… so long as I can remember. And I can… I just… I need to try." He hid his eyes from the two men… anything to get the other him back.

Soubi looked at Ritsuka, then at Ritsu-sensei angrily. Ritsu smirked.

His perfect fighter would never go against his sacrifice's wish.

It was painful for Soubi… to know Ritsuka was only a drive, or a call away.

Watching him, Kio was reminded of the time he had first thought Seimei had died, and later, how a battle had put Ritsuka into a coma.

Kio did a temporary move-in with Soubi, and cooked and cleaned for his friend, because no one else was there to take care of him.

No word from the institution for over six months. Soubi knew he wouldn't be allowed to visit, and he would have felt it if Ritsuka was hurt.

He felt pain from the separation though.

When we are apart…

I remember you, hungry…

Recalled, Vividly

He lectured as usual at the university. But his students noticed how washed out he looked. They were concerned, but often right before class ended and they would ask, his friend Kio would rush them or him or both out as soon as the bell rang, and he fended off any visitors.

One thing to say, Soubi's paintings became extremely popular and beautiful. He soon had many buyers and watchers. He didn't have a need for commissions any more. A woman had bought one painting for more than what his yearly income was worth.

That was the paradox. His pain made beauty, he needed pain, and in itself pain was beauty.

But this pain… this ache… it was unbearable.

But so long as he knew Ritsuka was alive, he must stand it.

Ritsuka woke up at the institution's library. He had been studying there consistently about their books of memory. Youji and Natsuo only accompanied him for the first hour before the librarian kicked them out.

He had met many other fighters in this school. He wasn't very fond of them, and none of them were very fond of the Zeroes he hung out with, so the past sixth months he had been mostly isolated here, in the library.

Sometimes Ritsu would call him up and ask him if he had progressed, always with a serious look on his face. He couldn't bear it.

He couldn't bear any of this. Who was he? Where was he? What could he do about something he had no power to recall?

He left the library in search of his dorm. It was early in the morning, two a.m. and Natsuo and Youji were asleep.

He quietly opened the door to the bathroom, and turned the light on. As he had done every night since being there, he looked at the mark on his tongue.

Loveless… imprinted in a white scar across his pink tongue.

He touched it with his finger curiously, as always, amazed at it's smooth texture, as opposed to it's looks as a real scar.

I love you, Ritsuka.

"I love you, Soubi!" the young teen of fourteen cried into his fighter's strong embrace. "Soubi… I love you. Idiot, I love you and I need you, so you can't leave me just because one battle I screwed up and went into a coma. It's my fault, idiot!" He was carried home, to Soubi's home, and laid on Soubi's bed.

"I promise to never leave you alone again, Ritsuka."

"No lies! You have to swear… swear on me."

"I swear on Ritsuka, I will never leave you alone."

And then he kissed him. He was fourteen and this is the first time he had ever initiated a kiss.

"Soubi…" The boy moaned.

"Not tonight, Ritsuka… you are to weak." It was a strangled and controlled whisper, but it was full of concern for the boy.

Could loveless be loved?

"Soubi… I want to make you my fighter alone." His desperate clinging hands, still so small to something so big.

How could any of this be wrong, when it felt so right?

"Is that an order, Ritsuka?"

"I order you to become Loveless."

"Yes, master."

His eyes shot open as his head pounded from the returning memory.

He reached for the empty rinse glass and turned the faucet on, placing the cup under it, and gulped the water down.

It was like a prolonged brain freeze. And he knew it wouldn't stop… not until…

He stumbled through the doorway of his shared dorm and called for Youji and Natsuo, who looked groggily up at him.

"We have to go… back to Soubi… now."

"Do… do you remember something?"

"We have to go now!" He yelled this time, his head ached.

"He's acting like the old Ritsuka…" Youji smirked as he pulled his jacket on. Natsuo did the same and they gave Ritsuka a jacket a well as they ran out the door with keys.

They kept running through the halls. Ritsu smirked as he heard the long-awaited footsteps through the halls, from the other side of his office door.

In the parking lot, he heard a car go on, and drive away. He looked out the window and saw Nagisa's new convertible being driven away speedily by the likes of her former students.

He smirked.

She wasn't going to be very happy.

Soubi was smoking on his porch. He couldn't sleep.

Kio had left for the weekend, guiltily, for a class trip he had to go on. Soubi didn't mind… it was more peaceful this way. No one to bother him about eating, or lack of sleep.

He was startled by the sound of a speeding car down the up to that moment quiet street.

Even more shocked when a bright red convertible stopped in front of his house.

And he stood when he saw Ritsuka panting as he stepped out of the car, and look furiously at him.

He couldn't move… he was too surprised… could it be…?

Ritsuka ran up to him with a furious look in his eyes, and entwined his fists in Soubi's hair as he yanked the taller man a few inches down to meet his lips.

And he made to feel his name out on the other adult.

While Soubi's tongue was smooth, he could feel the spark of name touching name, and he smirked into the kiss as the headache left, as everything easily flowed back into place.

Where just a few seconds ago a young confused boy/adult stood was now a confident sixteen-year old Ritsuka who had finally gained access to every part of his memory.

And Soubi knew… he knew because of the kiss, because of the strength of their bond.

He knew everything.

And he soon dominated another kiss initiated by Ritsuka… Youji and Natsuo drove away… there would be no rest in that house tonight anyways… or on that block for that matter.