Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic. Actually, it's based on a real story that this doctor who came to my church told us…anyways, I hope you enjoy and please review! Constructive criticism is appreciated
"Doctor, I'm dead."
"…excuse me?" Dr. Hatake's one visible eye blinked in surprise at his patient, namely one Uzumaki Naruto.
Hatake Kakashi was a famous psychiatrist and had worked at the prestigious medical center Konoha for about 8 years now. However, never had he encountered a patient declaring that he was, well, dead. Then again, he mused, Naruto-kun was supposed to be a rather special case.
According to his files, Naruto had been found on the front steps of former Konoha president Sarutobi-sama. He was then taken to an orphanage, where Nurse Umino Iruka had found him. Ever since then, Naruto had become a common face at Konoha.
Lately, though, Iruka had been complaining of rather odd statements coming from Naruto and had brought him in. Kakashi had been expecting something fairly different, sure, but this…this was new.
"Naruto-kun, could you please specify? In just what way are you dead? Are you surrounded by your former parents? Do you find yourself in a grave at night?" Kakashi drilled Naruto.
Naruto gave him this are-you-crazy look, which was strangely ironic in this situation. "Doctor, I'm not insane (oh yeah, like Kakashi was gonna believe that), I just have this strange feeling that I'm dead. Y'know what I mean?"
No, it was safe to say that Kakashi did not know what Naruto meant.
"Here, let's try something. Try writing two lists," Kakashi stated while handing Naruto a piece of paper and a pen. "One that describes what dead people do and one that describes what people that are alive do."
The little office was filled with the sound of writing and breathing. About 10 minutes had passed when Naruto finally looked up and said with relief, "Doctor, I'm done."
"Very well, let's see it then." Naruto handed the list over to Kakashi and sat back, anxiously awaiting his comments. Kakashi scanned the list. It was filled with the typical things; live people can breathe, talk, eat, etc. Dead people…well, can't. Naruto's final answer on the dead people list was:
17. Dead people don't bleed.
This sparked an ingenious idea in Kakashi's mind, if he did say so himself. "Naruto, let me just do this little test on you. If you would sign right here…"
Naruto frowned as he followed Kakashi's directions. "Doctor, what is this paper for? Are you gonna do something to me?"
"Your signature just gives me permission to prove something to you. You see, you said on your list that dead people can't bleed so what would happen if I did this-"
"Ouch!" Naruto yanked his hand away, startled. The little pinprick he had been given stung as he glared at the amused doctor.
Kakashi flapped his hand at him. "Go ahead, take a look at your finger!"
Naruto suspiciously lowered his gaze to the small dot on his thumb which slowly welling with…blood! He gaped, too shocked for words. "…Oh my god. I'm bleeding…Doctor, I'm bleeding!" His face broke into a huge grin. "I'M BLEEDING! Thank you Doctor, thank you so much! I can't believe it…I'm bleeding!"
Naruto burst out of Kakashi's compartment and started racing around the building in excitement. "EVERYONE, I'M BLEEDING! I'M BLEEDING, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!"
Kakashi's long-time colleague Asuma smirked at him, his cigarette bobbing in amusement. Kakashi merely rolled his eye back at him and leaned against his doorframe.
'Well, another job well done,' he thought cheerfully. 'Just need to check his name off and-"
Naruto wheeled back to him, his breath coming in short bursts. "Doctor, how can I ever thank you enough?"
Kakashi was about to answer with a no problem when-
"I never knew dead people could bleed!"