Title: Of All the Gin Joints in All the World
Author: texaswatermelon
Fandom: Mass Effect
Pairing: femShepard/Ashley Williams
Rating: R
Summary: A retelling and reworking of some key events of ME1, with a femslashy twist. Abigaile Shepard: Vanguard, Colonist, Ruthless. Renegon, because I don't believe that anyone is completely impenetrable and incapable of change. Rating for language and content. FemShep/Ashley.
Disclaimer: Mass Effect, its characters, quests, names, dialogue, and all other content are property of Bioware.
Word Count: 2,611
A/N: This is a repost of an earlier attempt to novelize the game/series. My first attempt was abysmal, so I've come at it from a slightly different angle. I'll be changing and adding things as I see fit in order to make the story a bit more realistic and fix the things that I didn't like about the series. The main pairing is FemShep/Ashley, but I will be adding a bunch of other pairings as the series goes on.
Unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own.
Title taken from Fall Out Boy's, "Of All the Gin Joints in All the World."
xx
I am an arms dealer
fitting you with weapons
in the form of words
and, don't really care
which side wins
long as the room keeps singing,
that's just the business I'm in
this ain't a scene,
it's a goddamn arms race
Fall Out Boy, "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race"
xx
This is such a bad idea.
Kaiden Alenko was never one for tempting the fates, but right now he's on his way to provoking them entirely, and he's not pleased. Shepard's already in a pissy mood this week after that snafu with the krogan mercenaries on Eletania, resulting in them having to dock at the Citadel for the next few days and listen to Udina bitch endlessly about damaging government property. Then she lost that bet with Joker over the Alien Wrestling Universal Tournament… And now Alenko has to be the one to go wake her from her few precious hours of sleep early to inform her that a pompous turian Spectre is going to invade and inspect her ship. If he survives, Alenko's going to kill Captain Anderson for making him do this.
Shepard's room is dark except for the dim blue glow from the status screen on the wall. Alenko can hear heavy breathing coming from the corner, where he can just barely make out her bed. As he approaches, he sees the small lump that is Commander Abigaile Shepard, sleeping softly. She has the most peaceful expression he's ever seen on her usually hardened face, making her appear about twenty years younger than normal. It's so strange to see her so tiny and curled up, almost vulnerable, that he almost doesn't have the heart to wake her.
Before he can reach out to shake her, Shepard's eyes snap open very suddenly, glinting emerald green even in the dim light. There is instantly a pistol in her hand, materializing from what seems like nowhere, and she's out of bed with the gun shoved in Alenko's face before he even has time to take a startled breath.
"It's just me, Commander," he gasps with alarm. "Lieutenant Alenko."
For the briefest of moments, Alenko truly believes that she's going to pull the trigger and end his life. There's absolutely no hint of recognition in her eyes. Then, with what looks like reluctance, she lowers the pistol so that it hangs limply at her side. Alenko exhales deeply and his lungs burn with relief.
"What the hell are you doing sneaking around my quarters in the dark like some kind of pervert, Lieutenant?" Shepard asks with obvious annoyance, raking a hand through her long, tangled hair.
"Sorry, Commander," Alenko says, cheeks burning hotly. "Captain Anderson wanted me to wake you. We have a guest coming on board today."
As he speaks, Shepard reaches across her bed to hit the lights. The room is illuminated instantly with obnoxiously bright fluorescent bulbs. Shepard squints against them.
"It's not that damn ambassador, is it? Because if I have to hear his whining voice for an entire day again, I'll murder him before he even steps through the hatch."
Her voice is gruff as she begins to tug on her jump suit. Alenko turns around to give her some privacy, but she hardly notices or cares. She's spent too long being surrounded by men in the Alliance to be self-conscious. It also doesn't help that she's completely oblivious to the fact that Alenko has feelings for her.
"No ma'am," he answers anxiously. "It's a Spectre, a turian named Nihlus Kryik. He's inspecting the Normandy, I think."
He turns around when he hears her lacing up her boots, just in time to see the incredulous look on her face morph into anger.
"When is he arriving?" she asks, her voice dangerously even.
Alenko glances at his omni-tool. "In a few minutes, ma'am," he replies.
Shepard finishes lacing up her boots at record speed, pulling at the laces furiously. She equips almost all of her gear except her hard suit, including the pistol that had been a threat to Alenko's life only moments ago. All the while she mutters angrily about the captain and people letting her do her job in peace, various obscenities intermixed in several languages—human and alien alike.
When she's finished, she storms out of the room. Alenko hesitates for a few seconds before deciding it's in his best interest to follow. Shepard is already halfway up the stairs to the upper deck when he catches up with her.
"Why is it always me they bother?" she growls.
Alenko isn't sure if she's asking him specifically, but he answers anyway.
"Because you're Commander Shepard."
"Yeah, well someone else should be Commander fucking Shepard for a while."
Alenko grimaces and holds the door open for her.
They find Captain Anderson in the cockpit, informing Joker of their course for the day. They have to give the Spectre a full view of how the ship works on a daily basis, and it just so happens that they have a simple transport job to take care of on the human colony of Eden Prime.
Shepard stops abruptly in front of them, her boots clanging loudly on the metal floor to alert them all of her arrival. Alenko has to steady himself on the wall to keep from running into her.
"Since when is it protocol to give me a two second warning that aliens are going to be invading my ship for the day?" she demands loudly.
Joker smirks, clearly amused by Shepard's intense annoyance.
"Good morning to you, too, Shepard," Anderson replies sternly, not quite as tickled by her tone. Shepard merely glares, arms crossed over her chest defensively. "Nihlus was just on a mission for the Council and I wasn't sure if he was going to make it today until just recently."
"Oh really?" Shepard asks with mock interest. "Well that's funny because I wasn't aware that there was even a discussion about this visit until ten minutes ago when Alenko told me."
"It would behoove you to watch your tone, Commander, and to remember that I am the captain of this ship, not you," Anderson booms, towering over the short commander.
Shepard bristles.
"Behoove me?" she snaps, fists tightening into balls.
She takes a breath, about to unleash a rant that will last for hours and likely get her suspended, but Alenko places a gentle hand on her shoulder. She whips around to look at him and he shakes his head warningly. Shepard lets out an exasperated breath.
"Fine. When will the Spectre be arriving, Captain?"
"He should be here very soon. I want you to treat him with respect, Commander. This visit could be very important for you," Anderson warns.
"Thrilling, I'm sure," she mutters, but only Alenko hears and his hand tightens on her shoulder. "I suppose I'd better go freshen up then. Wouldn't want to look to unkempt for our honorable guest," she says loudly, and with that she turns around and stomps off.
Anderson shakes his head tiredly as he watches her go. Joker chuckles and turns back to his controls.
xx
The meeting is entirely unceremonious, except for the constant tick in Shepard's temple whenever she thinks about the bullshit that she's being put through this week. Nihlus congratulates her on all of her achievements, especially her victory at Torfan, despite some "truly tragic" losses for the human race. Shepard can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn't necessarily approve of her tactics, which pleases her greatly. Nevertheless, he's apparently putting her name forward as a recommendation to the Council for the first human Spectre. Shepard wonders what the catch must be.
The trip to Eden Prime will take several hours according to Joker, and luckily Shepard will have most of that time to herself while Nihlus tours the ship. Something about the turian bugs her. She's entirely unclear as to what his purpose is on this mission. He looks ridiculously suspicious as well. He'll disappear for very long periods, long enough that Shepard can almost forget that he's there, but then whenever she's alone it seems he'll turn up again, appearing out of nowhere, and give her some strange turian smirk like he's up to something he shouldn't be.
Of course, she doesn't voice her suspicions to anyone. It's no secret that Abby Shepard strongly distrusts most aliens (and most people in general) as a result of the terror she experienced at the age of sixteen on her home colony of Mindoir. Everyone will just pass it off as paranoia or racism. And maybe it is. But Shepard still believes that something is up.
xx
There's a particularly dangerous encounter just fifteen minutes before the ship is about to make its jump through the mass relay. Shepard is on the lower deck, cleaning her weapons as she usually does before a mission. It's mostly quiet down there, just the noise from the engine room to occupy her thoughts. There's something very soothing to her about the repetitive action of dismantling, cleaning, and reassembling a gun. It's the only time she ever truly experiences peace; even sleep brings nightmares and terror.
Shepard is lost in the act of cleaning her favorite shotgun when she suddenly has the vague impression that she isn't alone. She thinks perhaps it's one of the crewmembers passing through, but as she stops to listen, there's no sound. She continues to clean her gun, keeping an ear out for anyone who thinks they might be funny and play games with her. Shepard hates being snuck up on, and it doesn't happen without consequences to whomever is doing the sneaking.
Just as she clicks the last piece of her shotgun into place, she hears it. It's the tiniest chink of metal, probably completely inaudible to someone who isn't listening for it. Shepard whirls around without pause and, for the second time that day, she shoves a gun in someone's face. This time it's the last possible person who should be on the other side of it.
Nihlus doesn't even flinch. He looks brazenly down the barrel of the gun at Shepard, whose eyes are darkened with malevolence.
"Easy there, Commander. We don't want any accidents happening, do we?" the turian says calmly.
"I don't call defending myself an accident," Shepard growls, eyes narrowed dangerously.
"I don't see a threat here," Nihlus replies.
"I beg to differ," Shepard challenges.
Nihlus smirks.
"It's a shame, the effect Mindoir must have had on you."
Shepard's grip on the gun tightens visibly and a deep growl rumbles in her chest.
"Don't you dare—"
"Attention Normandy: we'll be entering the mass relay to Eden Prime in about five minutes. Be sure to get to a secure location. Joker out."
Both Shepard and Nihlus look up at the sound of the intercom, then back at each other.
"I suppose I should get up there. I'd very much like to see how the Normandy handles a relay."
For a moment, Shepard remains motionless. Finally, she drops her arm with a disdainful glare. Nihlus nods and takes the lift back to the upper deck.
It takes several deep breaths before Shepard feels like she can follow him without hurting someone. When the lift returns to retrieve her, she slumps back against the wall and closes her eyes. Flashes of gunshots, fire, debris, and destruction cross her mind's eye. She looks around the elevator again and sighs, feeling suddenly very tired. Whatever the captain isn't telling her is causing her a great deal of stress. Spectres don't observe simple shakedown runs. Anderson's hiding something, and Shepard doesn't appreciate being kept out of the loop.
xx
She appears in the cockpit just as Nihlus is giving his approval on their progress. He gives her a nod as he walks past and she tries her best not to cringe when he brushes against her. When she begins paying attention to the background noise, she comes in the middle of Joker and Alenko bickering about something.
"What do you think, Commander?" Joker asks conspiratorially.
Shepard shakes her head to clear it.
"I think you two should shut up," she replies with disinterest.
Joker sighs. "Whatever. I still think something's funny about him."
"Yeah, well until the captain decides to let us in on what this is all about, we're in the dark, so we might as well keep our mouths shut so we don't catch hell," Shepard snaps.
Just as she finishes, Captain Anderson comes in over the comm and demands a status report, followed by Shepard's presence in the comm room. Shepard rolls her eyes.
"Great, Joker, now you pissed him off."
Alenko smirks.
"Yeah, well what else is new?" Joker mutters at Shepard's retreating form.
Shepard makes sure to take her time on the way to the comm room. She allows her short body to carry her as slowly as possible, past Pressly and the map. The XO is complaining about their turian guest much in the same fashion that Joker had been. Shepard decides to ignore him. They'll be at Eden Prime soon enough, and hopefully Nihlus will leave them for some mission of great galactic importance so they can all be rid of him.
Just as she's nearing some sort of doom in the comm room, Doctor Chakwas has the decency to stop her for her input. Standing with her is Jenkins, looking fresh-faced and ready for battle as usual.
"Commander Shepard, please tell the corporal that the more he goes looking for trouble, the more time he spends in my infirmary," she demands, glaring at Jenkins with her arms crossed.
"Aw, come on, Doc! It's not like you don't need something to do anyway," Jenkins reasons.
Chakwas snorts. "I sincerely hope you're joking, Corporal," she says, her accent flaring up with her anger.
"Come on, Commander, you know how it is, bein' in the heat of the action. It's a rush, right?" Jenkins appeals to her enthusiastically.
"She's right, kid," Shepard says darkly. "The minute you go asking for trouble, you end up getting more than you bargained for. If you just sit back and wait patiently, there's plenty of stuff in the galaxy to keep you occupied, and at least then you'll be ready when it comes."
"Easy for you to say. Everyone already knows what you can do," Jenkins protests.
"It's not always candies and flowers having everyone know who you are, Jenkins. They come to expect a lot out of you, and sometimes you can't live up to it. Sometimes you've got to let them down."
With that, Shepard walks toward the comm room. Even as she does, she can hear Jenkins expressing his hope that their time on Eden Prime doesn't take too long. Shepard just shakes her head and walks through the door.
xx
An hour later, Shepard straps on her hardsuit, preparing for action. What had begun as a pissing contest between her and Nihlus in the comm room (with Anderson acting as mediator and mostly on the turian's side, much to Shepard's annoyance) had quickly turned into something else altogether. The transmission from Eden Prime showed the human colony at great risk, and that was all Shepard needed to throw aside her distaste for the alien invasion and get ready for battle.
Nihlus and Alenko are already waiting at the hatch and Jenkins is close behind her, far too excited at the prospect of a fight. Nihlus will scout out ahead, which Shepard both likes and dislikes for the same reason. She doesn't want him out of her sight, and yet she doesn't want to have to defer to him either.
Shepard ignores Anderson when he tells her that survivors are a secondary objective. She'll secure any living humans she finds before moving on. No Council objective is more important than that. After one last check to make sure that everything's secure, she takes a breath and jumps out of the hatch.