It's those damn blue eyes! I can feel them every single time she looks in my direction. She's sitting right in front of me and she has the same small goofy grin on her face and those damn eyes are shining so bright. She's looking at me like I put the freaking stars in the sky or something. She glances away briefly when one of the Bella's interrupts her stalking but as soon as they make their departure she goes right back to looking at me. With those eyes. It seems as though she wants to speak because I can see the wheels turning behind her eyes. Or when she momentarily cocks her head to the side and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Shutting the lid to my laptop I finally look Chloe in the eye.
"Dude can you like stop?" Apparently, my voice snaps Chloe out of the temporary trance she found herself her because she jumps slightly and her eyes fall on random spots around the room.
"Stop what?" Chloe sounds almost clueless but I know from the faint blush spreading across her cheeks that she knew she got caught staring.
"Staring. Seriously, do I have something on my face?" I rub my face with my hands as a slight chuckle falls from Chloe and then she's staring at me the same way again. It sends butterflies soaring through my stomach. I could swear for just a second the room gets twenty degrees hotter. Chloe Beale stares at me like I'm the center of her world and it pisses me off because I'm just Beca Mitchell. The alt shut in who has had feeling for her best friend for four years. Feelings that are most definitely not returned in any aspect. I can feel myself getting more upset with each second that passes as Chloe stares at me. Shaking my head, I push back the barstool creating a screeching sound. "You know what forget it." I take hold of my laptop and walk out of the kitchen.
"Beca wait…" Despite Chloe's words I keep walking and go up the steps in the direction to my room. I can hear Chloe following behind me and I let out a small groan of annoyance. Hasn't she figured out when I want to be alone by now? I go up the last few steps to the attic room Amy and I share and plop down on the bed. Chloe isn't far behind because just as my body stops bouncing on the bed Chloe sits down just in front of me.
"Bec. What's wrong?" And here we go again with that stupid look. The look where her eyes show so much love and honestly. The look where Chloe looks nothing but concerned and all of her attention is on me. Like this look and those eyes were meant only for me. Like I'm the only girl in the world. In her world. But all that look does is piss me off because I know I'm not the only girl in her world. Because Chloe gives everyone that look. Because she's Chloe freaking Beale. When Chloe puts her hand on my knee I can feel a bomb go off. I stand up from the bed and start pacing back and forth. With each step I take I can feel my fire being fouled. Why does Chloe have to be so damn considerate and so damn concerned? Why does she have to have eyes that reach into my soul and tear down my walls. Why does sh-. "Bec. Talk to me." Chloe's fingers brushing against my forearm break my train of thought. I whip around to see Chloe and she still has that stupid look. Yanking my arm away like I was burned I turn away from Chloe.
"Damn it Chloe! Just stop. Stop touching me! Stop looking at me! Because each time you look at me it looks like…" I let out a breathy laugh and shake my head. "Forget it. I'm going to shower. And please just go see what the other girls are doing. I need to be alone for a bit." Avoiding Chloe's eyes, I walk around my room gathering stuff for the shower. My feet stick in their spots when Chloe's whisper of a voice reaches my ears. Once again causing all my anger and emotions to flee my body.
"Like what…?" I turn to face Chloe and her eyes are trained on her fingers as she picks off the metallic blue polish. An internal battle starts raging in my head. Tell her. She needs to know. You can't keep acting like this and expect her to never ask for an answer. But does she really need to know? Just a few more weeks and you won't have to see her everyday anymore. Just stick it out. Deal with it Mitchell. "Beca?" Chloe's voice pulls me back to reality. Her eyes meet mine they look glazed over with what I can only assume is tears and it breaks my heart. "Like what?" Now or never Mitchell. Tell her. I let out a sigh and my eyes fall to the floor.
"Like I'm your everything." I know I meant for it to come out louder than just a whisper and just for a second I wonder if Chloe even heard me. A few silent seconds drag on for what feels like years. My nerves start getting the best of me. "Forget it Chlo. I'm sorry I ever said anything…" I make my way towards the steps but Chloe catches my hand as I walk past her. She halts my steps and she stands to be level with me. I notice the battle raging in her eyes and I let my eyes fall once again but as soon as my chin starts to tilt Chloe's index finger picks it right back up so she can keep my gaze. Chloe cocks her head to the side and a small smile appears on her lips.
"Because you are my everything." My heart stops and I'm sure I've heard her all wrong. "You have been for years. Ever since the day you shot Bree and I down at the activities fair." Chloe cups my cheek and her touch jump starts my heart launching it into my throat. All I can do is search the bright pools of blue that stare at my face. I know I need to say something anything. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out and I'm pretty sure I resemble a fish as my mouth opens and closes a few times. "I love you Beca." I'm waiting for my dream to end and for all of this to slip away because this is what this has to be. A dream. My next words come out almost like a natural reaction because I know I did not tell my brain to say them. But I do know that they are true.
"I love you too."