"Fool For Love" – Chapter 1
I had always loved mornings. That feeling you get when you first wake up and there's nothing to remember or think of – you're just there, part of the world, and it's just a generally wonderful feeling.
This morning was no different. I had woken up as the sun hit my face in a perfect way through the window. I opened my eyes and there was nothing to remember, nothing I had to think of, nothing except to just be there – in my bed, which unusually felt warmer than usual. It took me a few moments to realize that maybe there was something I should be remembering, but I wasn't. There was a slight weight on my waist … and I was naked. Naked? I glanced beside me, where a peaceful, naked Scorpius Malfoy laid.
Shit
I suddenly shot up, taking my sheet with me, the events up last night coming back to me faster than what I would have liked, in flashing pictures – big, blaring, and making my head throb.
I see Gerry breaking up with me – telling me that I'm too good for him, some bullshit like that – I see me crying on the common room couch like a helpless child, very unlike me – I see Scorpius come in, asking me if I've seen Albus, then realizing that I've been crying – I see him walk over to me – I see him start to comfort me, patting my shoulder – then I see myself leaning on his shoulder, blubbering about something insane – then I see me kiss him – then him kissing me back – then finally me, leading him to our dormitories – and ---
I cover my eyes with my hands. What did I do? What was I thinking? Wait… right, I wasn't bloody thinking.
I glance over at Malfoy again; he's still fast asleep, the blanket covering him at his waist down. He looks so peaceful; his hair is in his eyes in wispy strands – the way it is before he gels it in the mornings, and his mouth is open a little – oh gods, his mouth and his lips and his tongue…
I mentally slap myself, stupid, stupid brain – thinking things and not being trustworthy. How could I have done this? This was Malfoy. Sure, he was the best friend of my cousin - Albus, only God knows why, but he's a Malfoy – though his family had recently gotten back onto the good side for good, he's still Malfoy.
I see him stir a little in his sleep, and I fell back down beside him, pretending to be asleep. I felt him move a little more and his breathing got louder and I could tell that that he was awake. I felt the bed shift slightly as he shot up, cursing under his breath, probably remembering the events that occurred the night before, before lying back down again. He sighed before rolling over and poking me.
"Weas-" he started to say, the changed it to, "Rose?"
My eyes fluttered open and I stretched a little, "What?" I ask groggily – I have officially perfected my pretend wake-up.
He bit his lip and I widened my eyes, feigning surprise.
Everything is really awkward now and neither of us knew exactly what to do and neither of us wanted to be the first to talk. Finally, I mouthed 'Get dressed' to him, scared that maybe Dominique or one of my other roommates might hear something.
He nodded and searched the bed for his clothes, I climbed to the foot of my bed where my trunk was, with the sheet still wrapped tightly around me. I rummaged through it for a while before coming up with an old t-shirt and sweat pants that are about 3 sizes too big for me.
By the time I dressed, Malfoy was standing up and wearing what he was wearing the night before. I motioned for him to follow me and I made my way outside into the common room with him behind me.
"So," he finally said.
"Yeah."
"Um…"
I didn't really see this conversation leading anywhere, so I decided to not say anything back in reply. It seemed like hours have passed and I'm tired of running things through my mind that might be okay to say in this sort of situation and I noticed Malfoy getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Look," I crossed my arms over my chest, "last night was sort of … I don't know, weird, and I was just really upset and we both weren't thinking straight, so we can probably just forget about this or just move on or something."
His gray eyes flickered, but his face remained composed, expressionless. He nodded, agreeing with me. "If that's what you want."
And that's it, just like that – it's forgotten and will never be mentioned.
***
At breakfast that morning, I contemplate if I should tell Dominique or not. I'm making a mental pros and cons list in my head, when she touched my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Her big blue eyes are big and filled with concern, and for a moment I thought that she had somehow found out – or maybe she heard us or saw us. Gods, the nightmares she must've had last night.
"You know, with the G-word," she said. "I heard he broke up with you."
My mind drew a blank for a second before I remembered the "G-word": Gerry. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts of Malfoy – or, since it was forgotten – my non-thoughts, I had forgotten about Gerry.
"Oh yeah," I smiled. "Completely over him."
She sighed and sat down beside me. "I really do hope so, he's such an idiot, he doesn't deserve you."
I laughed to myself, remembering his exact words last night: "You're too good for me, Rosie. I'm sorry."
"Anyways," she continued. "I went up to the dormitories and your curtains were drawn and none of us wanted to bother you, so…"
I let out a breath of relief, she didn't know. "Yeah, well…"
She nodded, "Do you need anything? Cookie dough?"
"Cookie dough?" I asked.
"Cookie dough – the ultimate break-up food," she replied.
"Sure, cookie dough sounds great."
***
After breakfast, I had a free period, which I thinking of all the routes to my classes and favorite study places that would avoid Scorpius and Albus' favorite places to be – the Room of Requirement, Slytherin Common Room, the Quidditch Pitch, and the Lake – those were all rather easy to avoid. Thinking about it, it wouldn't be too hard to avoid any unplanned run-ins with him. Life was fair.
***
It's four o'clock and I'm on my bed when I should be in Potions, but I'm not because I was no longer virgin-Rose. Rose and sex just don't mix – they belong far, far away from each other, on opposites sides of the galaxy far. I'm the girl who goes to sleep at 10 o'clock every night, the girl who would rather study than do something actually fun, the girl who irons her uniform twice – once at night and once in the morning. I'm not the girl that loses her virginity the first of her friends, and I'm not the girl that skips class so she could get some quiet and really think about what happened.
I closed my eyes, hoping that this will all just go away – this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. It was so fast, so disorienting, and with a guy that didn't think anything of me.
I felt a tear slide down the side of my face, landing on my pillow, and I realized that I'm crying, which is actually quite stupid because I have no idea why, but I just lie there and cry, as the rest of my classmates are brewing potions and learning about Mandrake Root, here I am – Rose Weasley, fiery tempered and strong – lying on my bed in my dorm room, hiding away from everyone, and crying.
I'm so pathetic.
***
Author's Note: Whoo! So I'm actually really excited about this fic, and I really hope I actually finish this one (which I probably will). Don't forget to leave a lovely review for me! Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his universe, etc, it's all JKR's.