(THE PHANTOM MENACE)
Anakin:
I wonder if she knows what she does to me.
It's not just her looks - it's the way she carries herself, the way she interacts with others. Quiet in her own way, and always so polite that she makes it seem effortless.
I haven't met anyone like that in my whole life, save for my mother. It's pretty hard to find someone with much grace or virtue here, though. I wonder if things are different on the planet she comes from. Naboo, I think is the name. It must be so nice there, if the people are all like her.
And wow, is she beautiful.
How anyone can look like that is a mystery to me. It's like she's an angel, sent from another galaxy and thrust onto Tatooine, of all places. She seems so out of place here.
I'm not sure how or why we've met, really, but I'm definitely not complaining.
Being with her these past few days has been great. It's too bad that it will end soon, but probably just as well. I'm only a kid. She's practically an adult.
That will change, though. When I grow up, I'll find a way out of here.
I hope she waits for me.
Padme:
It's so nice to just get away from it all. To just leave all your problems behind for a few moments and be able to relax and feel normal.
I'm trying to do that right now, in between the fighting and the politics. When I can leave the Queen Amidala persona behind and just be Padme. People really treat you differently when you're a handmaiden, like a regular person. Here, it's all they know me as, and that's the way I prefer it.
We met a little boy who's so nice to talk to like that. The Jedi are having us tag along with him, for some reason.
He's so innocent now, and it's easy to forget that he's actually a slave and has lived with real hardship - a kind that I am not familiar with. I wish I could protect him and let him keep the innocence forever, so he wouldn't have to deal with all of this mess. It would be a real shame if he grew up to be bitter and disappointed. That probably won't happen, though. He's a good kid.
If everyone were like him, I wouldn't mind just leaving my life behind and staying here forever.
(INTERMISSION)
Anakin:
Different day, same feeling of exhaustion.
The training is actually getting more rigorous. They work you all day and then just expect you to meditate everything off in a few minutes and be ready for more exercises. Makes me wonder why I ever left home.
Of course, I know that anything would be better than my previous life, but there are times when I'd rather go back home and work for Watto again. At least I'd have Mom there with me. I hope she's doing ok. It's been years since I last saw her, but still, I worry. She's the only thing that keeps me going these days. Well, her and Padme.
Padme. Ah, yes.
I only knew her for a few weeks before being accepted into the Jedi Academy, but it was an eventful few weeks for sure. She was like something out of a dream. I don't know. Someone so beautiful, I never knew could even exist until she – a queen, of all things – just appeared in my life, really came out of nowhere, and left too soon.
I wonder if she still remembers me.
Probably not. She's got more important things to think about than some stupid, obsessed little kid who only cared about podracing. That thought makes me kind of sad. Oh well.
Hopefully, our paths will cross again. I know they will. It's a day that I'm eagerly awaiting, and when it does come, I'll be ready. More than ready. Because no matter how hard I try, I really can't forget about her.
Truth: at night sometimes, lying in the dark by myself, I can see nothing but her face. Can think of nothing but her sweet voice and kind words. Those are good nights.
(ATTACK OF THE CLONES)
Padme:
Oh, why did he have to show up into my life again?
It's difficult enough to keep your composure in times like this, not even taking into account new feelings that suddenly appear. Seriously, he gets a rise out of me like nobody else has ever done, and it's so confusing.
He seems to have some sort of obsession with me, and at first I tried to ignore it or write it off as a simple teenage crush - but now I think I'm falling for him, too. Maybe I've already fallen, because the feeling is getting harder and harder to ignore.
And I must ignore it. Someone has to, and it won't be him. Under that seemingly tough exterior, he's still just a kid. He doesn't realize that public servants cannot always get what they want. And that's what we are. An elected senator and a Jedi padawan.
Those two really don't go together at all. It's crazy.
And yet, in these crazy times, it actually kind of makes sense. Our personalities contrast nicely, too - his boyish charm really brings out the best in me.
When I'm with him, time stands still, and nothing and nobody else exists. There is no war, no fighting, no conflict, no bad guys, and I can just be myself for a few minutes out of the day instead of keeping up a cold politician's appearance, like I've been doing for so long. I wish I could have that freedom all the time. Maybe when this is all over. Then again, it doesn't look like it will be over for a long time.
I just hope I don't do anything stupid before it ends, like give in to temptation. It would be so selfish of me to ruin his life like that.
Ani. I love him too much.
Anakin:
Things are calm for the time being.
It's a good, much-needed break after all that has happened. And to think that the only thing I lost was an arm. Quite a price to pay for my recklessness, but it could have been worse, and I like to think that I've learned something from the experience.
My emotions dictate my actions - always have, always will. But I need to control them. I think I'll be able to, now.
Things are actually looking up for me. They've already attached a mechanical arm, and soon I'll be able to leave the hospital and go back to my love.
Mine.
It's weird, but I've always known that she was someone who was meant for me. And now that I have her, it's like I have everything that I've ever wanted. Things can't get any better than this.
Well, I can't wait to see her again. There are still wars to be fought and dark forces to be defeated, but right now, none of that matters. Because that's the future, and I am living in the present.
The present might as well last forever, as far as I'm concerned. I'd stay by her side for all eternity.
I wonder if she knows just what she does to me.