Prologue
Hello, allow me to introduce myself my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. For those of you who haven't already read about my family in the acclaimed Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer there are eight of us and we are all Vampires. Rosalie, Bella, and Alice are my three adopted daughters and Esme is the mate and love of my 'life'. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are my adopted sons while I am the father figure and leader of the clan. We all live in one house in a quaint town called Green Bay Wisconsin now. Due to the necessity of keeping our existence a secret it is time for us to move on. However, we each have something that we can't bear to leave behind, aside from our mates of course. For me it is my collection of medical texts, for Esme it is her beloved computer which allows her to study architecture and serves as her design studio for whatever house we move into next. Rosalie has kept her wedding gown and Emmett has chosen to never leave the baseball equipment at home even though we so rarely get a chance to play. For Jasper it is his Civil War Uniform, and for Alice it is her sketchpads. For Edward, though it might be cumbersome, it is his piano, and for Bella who is so new to this life it is her wedding ring. Something has happened which has made me telling this story imperative, you will see why, anyway the best way to tell a story is to start at the beginning.
As I crawled into the attic to retrieve the necessary boxes I made a remarkable and unexpected discovery. The chest looked as old as I was, and trust me you do not want to know how old that is, and had a lock in the shape of an oval ring. The only clue as to the chest's contents was the single name 'Esme'. Now what could the vampire mother of a mind reader, Edward, a seer, Alice, and an empath, Jasper, have successfully hidden away all these years on top of the two most important questions…how and… why? What could be so important that Esme kept it secret from not only me but our children and why of all places was it in the attic? I felt I knew Esme better than anybody else could or ever would so how did I not know. I secretly brought the chest down with the rest of the boxes and set it in Esme's and mines room.
That night when we finally walked into our room I watched her reaction to seeing the box. She, however, was just as puzzled as I was. It seems even though vampire's have perfect memories this one hadn't quite made it into Esme's. I wondered fleetingly if it could hold something from her old life. I quickly dismissed that theory due to the fact that she would never want to remember anything from that time let alone keep any sort of special memento to remind her of that tumultuous and horrific past. I figured she would at least have some knowledge of what could unlock the oval shaped lock but I was to be disappointed again. We dismissed Esme's wedding ring as a possible key due to the fact that it was simply not big enough to fit the lock. Again we tried to think of anything that would have meant something to either of us to use it as the key. All of sudden Esme remembered the locket I had given to her when I had first started courting her. It fit like a glove. When Esme slowly opened the chest she let out an unnecessary gasp that sounded more of shock than the joy felt at something lost once again being discovered. I rushed to her side to peer into the dusty cavernous chest. It was absolutely filled with letters.
After the discovery of the letters we were thrown once again into confusion. I asked her, "Esme do you have any recollection of how those letters got here or what they pertain to?"
"Carlisle I want to tell you what they are but it is slightly embarrassing, you see I recognized that box but was trying to stall by pretending not to know what the key was," she said.
"There is nothing you need ever be embarrassed about especially not to me. You are being very evasive Esme, what are these letters about?"
"They aren't really letters at all. Well some of them are but others are rather more personal diary entries. The common thread between all of them is the fact that they were all written about you and our family, as a result some are from when I was human and the others after I was changed. The first one you will notice is dated when I got home from having broken my leg and I have actually been secretly adding 'entries' all the way up until Bella joined the family."
I stood open mouthed for a while not knowing what to think I finally simply asked the most remarkable question, "How did you manage to keep this a secret from our children?" A smile slowly crept across her face, in fact it was smug and sexy, "Now Carlisle, you can't expect me to give away all my secrets now can you?" she said coquettishly. As she moved to close the chest she explained further, "Whenever I decided to add a new entry I either decided it as a split decision or disguised it as something else such as architectural research. Well that took care of Alice but I still had to take care of Edward, which was actually simpler than fooling Alice, I just simply never thought about what I was writing. Lastly and possibly the hardest part of the secret was keeping my emotions in check as not to worry Jasper. You see most of what I had occasion to write about was pleasant, however, there were some entries that made me extremely depressed which is why I quickly wrote those while the children were at school or out hunting and I was out of the reach of Jasper's ability." Now why don't you come over here so I can pretend to need your help taking this box downstairs? I quickly moved across the room planting a quick kiss on her smiling mouth before lifting the box and carrying it downstairs for Emmett to load into the moving van. When I got back upstairs I could notice something was different but I couldn't tell what it was. Esme was busy putting our belongings into boxes and labeling them when I realized that the chest of papers was missing. "Esme where is the chest?"
For the first time Esme could not meet my gaze, "Carlisle I so rarely get a secret that when I finally get one I like to hold onto it. I therefore hid it once again. I promise that someday we will sit down and read everything in the chest but not today. Can you please just let me have this Carlisle? Besides you and architecture, it is one of the few things which makes me feel alive and gives me a purpose. With the kids at school and you always gone at the hospital I sometimes feel lonely and writing reminds me that I have a wonderful family, an incredibly perfect husband, and it also brings me joy to read what I have written, even though I already have a perfect memory of everything."
"I won't give you away Esme and I hope that the day when we can read them together comes sooner rather than later but we have forever so I won't rush you. There is one more thing I am curious about however, why the attic?"
"Carlisle I thought that reason would be obvious. It was because the first time you kissed me we were in an attic, along with the more practical reason that no one ever goes up there."
"My dear remind me, how did I give you that kiss?" I said smiling naughtily. As I moved to her she met me half way. For a few blissful moments we were a young couple again without six teenage children to interrupt us. That lasted all of two minutes until she gently pulled away and pulled me back to reality; we still had to finish packing.
Now you would think that packing for a family of vampires wouldn't take that long. You would lose that bet. Even with a vampire's speed and strength the amount of belongings one accumulates over centuries is amazing even with the fact that all of the furniture was staying for the new renters, a lovely family from Philadelphia just like our Alice and Jasper.
We had been in forks for almost fifteen years, the longest we've been able to stay in one place. People had started suggesting there was something unnatural in how our appearance never seemed to change so we had to move on. As far as everyone had been concerned I had been a doctor with a gorgeous wife and six children who seemed to disappear after graduating high school. This was to make people think they had gone off to college but when you are immortal you have plenty of time to go to college and so they really traveled or did whatever they wanted to as long as they came home. What complicated this move was the question of the climate of wherever we moved in order for us to be able to live in relative obscurity; putting eight vampires in an extremely sunny state would not be a good thing. We therefore settled on Green Bay, Wisconsin.
We arrived in Wisconsin just about a week after setting out from Forks, hampered by the time it took for the moving truck to make the cross country journey. Esme of course had been busy decorating the house long distance along with Alice. It is a good thing that I have been a doctor for over a century because between those two we spent more than we probably should have been able to but it was worth it and no one in the town noticed or cared.
The Move
My Esme had a gift was the first thought through my mind as I stood in the living room of our new house. Everyone had their own rooms of course; Alice and Jasper, Bella and Edward, and Emmett and Rosalie, but my favorite room I had yet to see; that being Esme's and mines room. As I made my way up stairs to what I knew was going to be a sanctuary I held my breath, a foolish notion I know, but I wanted to be able to give my wife the reaction I knew she was hoping and waiting for. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I walked in however. Esme was standing in the middle of the room next to our bed practically glowing from happiness she walked over to me to grab my hand so she could point out every detail of the room which was complete with a door to the outside. In the middle of the room was our bed, it might seem strange for vampires to have a bed considering the fact that we never sleep but uh-hum well… a bed can be useful for many things. Next she showed me our or should I say her closet, I was allotted a very neat corner. Finally our luxurious bathroom which was already getting me distracted with thoughts about long baths and Esme. As we made our way down to the second level we had my study. I had assumed Esme would have set it up very similarly to the way it was in Forks but it was completely different. Bookshelves lined the walls instead of books being piled up on the floor due to the fact that I only had two bookshelves. Next were a gorgeous mahogany desk and a picture of Esme and me on our wedding day. I rarely worked from home but my work required a large amount of research so a study was necessary and I could not have pictured a better one.
The First day ended and I left early the next morning for my interview at the local hospital. Alice had used her gift and assured me that I had gotten the job but it still made me nervous, a trait I guess that was left over from when I was human. I met with a Mr. Greenly who asked me several questions about where I saw myself in five years, what kind of experience I had, and about my family. These were typical questions but then he asked me something rather peculiar, had I been followed here. I gave some negative answer which seemed to please him and he told me that he would be in touch. I knew from Alice that he would call tomorrow morning offering me the job but I wasn't sure I wanted to take it. His question about whether I had been followed made me nervous.
As I got home I was disappointed and worried to find that no one was there. Esme had left me a note explaining that they had all gone to hunt since we had gone a week without hunting due to the move. When they came back Esme, or maybe more likely Jasper, had sensed my unease at what had happened at the hospital. I asked Alice if she could look to see if we were going to have any problems here in Green Bay. She complied and immediately a pained worried expression came across her face Jasper was at her side in an instant, we all knew what that look meant, it meant Alice couldn't see something and it worried her. I then asked her a question that I so rarely had an occasion to ask, "Alice, what's wrong?" She looked wounded but still considered my question to be a serious one. She responded in kind, "The werewolves I know blind me but there should not be a pack anywhere near here, we would have smelled them or they would have smelled us, also Nessie, Edward and Bella's daughter, blinds me due to the fact that she is a mixed breed. I've never had trouble seeing other vampires unless they weren't the ones making the decisions. The only thing I can guess is that it could be some other beings with the ability to protect themselves from us; witches. "Once the hypothesis was stated as to why Alice couldn't see anything all of us immediately dove into research in order to validate or nullify what we all feared.
Esme and I had gone to my study to research when she suddenly stood up stock still. She spoke barely above a whisper, "Carlisle I know where we need to look"
"Where do we need to look?"
"Carlisle when I was a human I visited Green Bay once and there are many entries I have written and letters I have written to you explaining what happened when I did visit."
"Esme I promise I won't judge you but we need the letters where is that chest?" As Esme moved as if in a haze to go get the chest I thought of what could have possibly happened to my wife to make her appear so, well, spooked. Esme returned shortly after having left. She had the chest with her and we immediately sat down and got to work sorting through the papers for any clue as to what we faced.
Chapter Two
October 11, 1911
I don't know where to start. The pain of breaking my leg had been excruciating but I would gladly suffer it all again just to see him again. In fact he was the only good thing to come out of any of this. Dr. Cullen, Carlisle, was almost too perfect. It almost seemed like he was staring straight through me and all of my lies. He seemed to know that I hadn't really fallen out of tree but instead had been pushed down a flight of stairs by a man who professed to love me. He also seemed to recognize something that I hadn't told anyone. He recognized the fact that something had happened on my last trip to Green Bay other than what I pretended. I will miss our long talks throughout the night and I will miss the way he took care of me. Most of all I will miss just being in his presence, I don't care how corny that sounds. I felt this magnetic pull to him that I can't ignore. The worst part is I know he doesn't feel the same way. In fact he seemed almost relieved to have me discharged this morning but he told me to call him if I ever hurt myself again. After that I got this weird feeling as if someone was always watching me to make sure that I stayed out of trouble and that Charles behaved himself around me. All of a sudden though that feeling of being watched disappeared, come to think of it the feeling disappeared on the same day that I was told Carlisle had left town. I tried to go about my daily life but I could never quite shake this feeling of uneasiness that was constantly hanging over me. One day I woke up to find a note on my pillow. I didn't recognize the handwriting or understand how someone could have snuck into my room in the night without me knowing. My heart gave a little start when I realized who had left this note for me. I reread it three times to make sure his note was really left for me; it was simple but meant so much.
"Dear Esme,
I am so sorry for my sudden disappearance. Please understand this was the only way to truly keep you safe from me. Please know simply that I will never forget you, for multiple reasons. Leaving is the hardest thing I ever have had to do. Know that I will always cherish the talks and nights we had together. I wish it could have turned into more but for reasons I can't explain it never will. Please accept my wishes for Charles' and your happiness.
Yours forever,
Carlisle"
As we set the entry down I looked hard at my wife she was starting to cry or at least crying for a vampire. For the first time I didn't know what to say to her so I went with the obvious. "I am so sorry I caused you that much pain I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving."
"Carlisle," she said between dry sobs, "that is why I felt so bad for Bella when we left because I knew how it would affect her. Edward is more your son than even you realize."
"Esme that is true but you have to also understand that Bella knew what we were, you didn't which is why it was even more dangerous for her."
"I have to say though that your one letter is what sustained me through the years of your absence"
" I thought you were in love with Charles," I put as much venom behind the name as possible, "I never thought that you were already in much as love with me as I was with you. I still don't know how you knew where to place a letter in the one spot I would find it." I reached into the trunk again. "Ah here it is."
"My Dearest Carlisle,
I wish you wouldn't be so cryptic. I don't love Charles, but without you I lack the strength to stand up to him which is part of why I have to go ahead and marry him. I wish you had stayed to fight for me, maybe then I wouldn't have this hole in my heart which I know will never be filled. I don't know how to make you realize how in love with you I am. My only hope is that someday you find someone you truly love. I don't expect you to ever find this letter but if you do please know that my last thought will be of you, whenever that moment comes. Also just so you know, I don't care what you are, I know you would never hurt me. Maybe that's why I am truly marrying Charles, I feel like I am secretly hoping you will show up to save me again like you did that time all those years ago.
All my love,
Esme"
"When I found that note I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. I thought I was already too late to save you and I knew I had to stay in the one place that still held reminders for me that you had been real. I never stopped listening for news of you; in fact I made myself quite a nuisance to your parents. I had to constantly make sure you were doing well. When they told me you had moved to Chicago I didn't think, I simply left, I knew that wherever you went I would have to follow. I have thanked God every day since that I followed you to Chicago." We sat there for I don't how long, Esme was the first to unfreeze and she immediately grabbed another entry.
"Look," she said, "this is first letter you sent me when you found me in Chicago. I never knew you could have been so scandalous as to court another man's wife but I am glad you were."
"My Dearest Esme,
The letter you left me under your window frame gave me hope I cannot comprehend. Hopefully you will never find out what I am no matter how hard it is for me not to tell you. I am at the Hospital if you ever want to find me. Please let me know if you would ever consider honoring me with your company for the evening of Saturday next. I heard that there is going to be a wonderful opera being performed and I would be the luckiest man alive if you would consent to accompany me.
Yours quite literally 'forever',
Carlisle"
Esme started laughing, "I was so shocked at getting your letter I stood openmouthed for a good thirty minutes. It was shock that someone like you could love me at all and shock that you actually wanted to spend an evening with me damaged and useless." Esme's voice trailed off as she said those last few words.
"Esme as you know now I never wanted just one evening with you I wanted every evening of your life. When you came to the hospital searching for me I hid in the supply closet for at least fifteen minutes trying to figure out what to say to you and hoping you didn't see through me."
"I am glad we both got over our shyness and insecurities," Esme finally said, "Carlisle I think this next entry is going to have some information that I never wanted you to find out about so be patient please."
"Of course but dear how bad could it be?"
"It's not bad but it isn't going to make you feel very friendly towards the person who it's written about."
July 15, 1915
Charles is gone and I can't help but feel this feeling of relief and an even darker feeling that I don't want him to come back. I have just received Carlisle's latest letter and it served to highlight everything that is wrong with Charles and everything that is perfect about Carlisle. More dangerous yet is the feeling that something is wrong with my body. I can't think of having a child especially not with Charles and yet how else could I explain the mysterious waves of nausea and the weird cravings. I know that Carlisle has noticed how I have not been feeling well but I am not sure if he knows my hypothesis. I don't want to hurt him. Whenever I have made love to Charles it was as if I left my body until he was done with it or on the few occasions where I encouraged it I imagined that it was Carlisle. That illusion would always end though because I knew Carlisle would never hurt me and all Charles seemed to be able to do was inflict pain. More dangerous though is the fact that with Charles gone and Carlisle not always by my side I have far too much time to think. Especially about what happened all those years ago in Green Bay. Green Bay seemed to be mysteriously ill named, there is nothing green about it and whatever might be green is covered in at least an inch of snow. One night I had wandered out alone it was still semi light out, Twilight I would think later, and I sensed no danger. I stayed out too late though and as I stumbled my way back to the hotel our family was staying at I heard a mysterious noise. I had never been very superstitious and was certainly not that smart. I approached the noise nervously hoping to get some directions back to my lodgings. What I saw had me ice cold and frozen in place, I couldn't turn away or divert my gaze. It was a man and a woman sitting around a smoking cooking pot, which I later learned was to be called a cauldron, and they were chanting in a language I did not recognize. Too late I realized what I was seeing and by then…. But I can't talk any more about it right now it pains me too much."
My hand reached out to grip Esme's automatically. Where she had been a second ago however was now empty. I looked around the room and found that she had moved over to the window. "Esme..." I started but just then we heard a knock on our door. "Come in," I said. It was our son Jasper alerted no doubt by Esme's obviously depressed state.
"Carlisle what is wrong with Esme?" he said worriedly and a bit angry as if it were somehow my fault, which I no doubt intended to blame myself for; we never should have started digging through those rotten letters and entries.
"Jasper tell the others to meet us in the living room please I will explain everything then." Jasper left and I walked over to Esme. "Dearest I am so sorry; can you ever forgive me for making you relive these awful moments?"
"I thought I was dead then," she whispered, "I would rather have died than given birth to his child. I would look back on it and consider myself lucky that that one had ended in a miscarriage. Years later I would look at it from a different perspective. Everyone thinks I ran away from him to protect our unborn child and raise him on my own. Carlisle, I was running to you I just never found you." All emotion had left her voice and that scared me more than anything else ever could. I felt completely hopeless. Expressionless she turned and started moving towards the living room; I caught up to her and drew her to me. I wanted her to know that she was not alone in any of this.
Chapter 3
As we approached our living room I could hear our children already whispering amongst themselves. "It can't be," to, "Alice are you sure?" and finally, "Edward what can you hear?" The whispering stopped when someone, no doubt Edward, alerted the rest to our presence. As Esme and I entered the room six pairs of anxious eyes met us. After I got Esme settled into a chair and saw Jasper's wave of relaxation work on Esme I started to speak. " Your mother and I have found evidence that witches did and still do exist in Green Bay," before anyone else could speak I added, "We found this evidence digging through some old letters and the letter which gave us this information is what has wounded your mother. That is why I am going to ask that all of you help me search through the rest of these letters so we don't have to risk Esme getting hurt further." Edward and Jasper automatically agreed; they were sort of Esme's pets and protectors. Alice however was reluctant, "The only way I see this working out well is if we all search through these letters," she gave a meaningful look towards Esme that still managed to be caring and worried. All of a sudden Esme spoke, I was back at her side the second I heard her. "Thank you Jasper," she said in a shaky voice, "I know how worried you all are for me but that is exactly why I will be able to help. I will be able to get through it knowing that you are there to protect me and comfort me when it gets to be too much. We have to do this as we have always done things, as a family."
Esme then went on to explain what the nature of these letters and entries was. "When your father and I first met as you know it wasn't exactly an easy time. I started writing about him and our relationship so that I would never forget him, I never knew what he was until he changed me so I had no idea there would be no need for a record. Your father and I have come across the proof as we have told you that witches used to and still do exist in Green Bay. I only now ask your forgiveness for keeping this secret from you for so long."
I could feel Jasper's outrage and I could see everyone else's as they all had the same thought I did. Esme had done absolutely nothing wrong and we all wanted to destroy any source of pain for her, but we also knew that we needed those papers, at least for now.
Chapter 4
After moving the chest from our room into the living room we all gathered around it to make an impromptu reading circle. As our children passed around the entries that Esme and I had already read searching for something we might have missed Esme and I opened another letter.
"Darling Esme,
I don't know when I will be able to write again. I don't want to risk getting you in trouble with Charles. You don't have any idea how many times I have thought of challenging him to a duel but unfortunately that has become outdated I am told, and a duel would not end well for either of us. I therefore am going to take a yearlong vacation to Canada to visit some family I have up there. I will come see you the moment I get back. Give any letters for me to the gentleman who is staying in my house, his name is Edward and he will know how to reach me. Write to me immediately if Charles once again turns abusive. I am curious to hear more about your trips to Green Bay, especially about what could have made you so sad. Nothing remains but for me to let you know that you will be in my thoughts every second I am away.
Your 'friend',
Carlisle"
"I was so afraid Charles was getting suspicious. I wonder…. Did you realize I never really left?"
"I noticed that same feeling of being watched that I had first felt in Ohio. I don't know why but this time, even though I wasn't sure, I felt like it was you watching over me. At least that is what I hoped. It's interesting to hear all these years later that my hunch was right."
"I could never trust that monster with you completely."
"I am glad you were there. I remember one night I could hear Charles walking up the street drunk and I went to go lock myself in our bedroom but then all of a sudden his antics stopped. Was that you? Did you keep him from coming to me that night?"
"You have a surprisingly good memory of your human past. Yes I did keep him from reaching you that night. We had a little… conversation. I still remember your response verbatim to my letter
"Dear Carlisle,
Please don't do anything rash. I am flattered that you would care enough to fight for me but surely you know it is not a choice or a fight. It is you and has always been you. I just became desperate of waiting for you and went to drastic measures to try to bring you back. I even thought about falling out of a tree on purpose just so I would have to go back to the hospital until I remembered you were no longer there. I am sorry, but I have to tell you something I have been trying to keep a secret; it's about something that happened to me in Green Bay when I was only thirteen. I was walking home one night and unknowingly stumbled upon a witches spell casting. I didn't believe in witches or anything else that is made up from the pages of storybooks but this was different. They weren't anything like the witches and wizards in stories. They were cold, inside and out, and they were making something that I still can't identify to this day. All I know is that the woman looked up at me and smiled as I approached her she smelled me. I guess she must have smelled something she liked because the next thing I knew the man had a knife to my arm and before I could pull it away he drew it down my vein. I watched sickened as he added my blood to the turbulent pot. After he was done they started their strange chanting again, I don't know how but I now recognized the language as Latin. All of a sudden it felt as if my whole body was on fire. I asked them imploringly what they had done to me but they wouldn't answer. I wouldn't find out until years later. I have told you as much as I can for now and will tell you the rest at a later date."
"Did you tell anyone else about this?" I asked her stunned and enraged. She lowered her voice and looked to make sure Alice wasn't listening, "No Carlisle I was smart enough to realize that no one would have believed me and I would have ended up in an asylum which even back then I knew weren't good." After clenching and unclenching my jaw a few times I felt brave enough to ask, " Esme what did they do to you?"
"I can't tell you but I can show you." As I got up to follow her into my study once again I caught myself glaring too long at a picture of an immortal child. Once we were in my study and the door was shut I looked at Esme for an explanation. "Everyone thinks I am not gifted but what those witches did to me all those years ago still remains." As I watched in stunned silence Esme began to turn into a puddle on the floor and then as the puddle reformed I expected to see my wife but instead I saw a thirteen year old version of my wife. After she changed back to her original form she told me, "What the witches had been looking for all those years ago and what I so unwittingly supplied for them was a human body to 'experiment on' their 'experimentation' killed me but unlike a vampire they didn't just toss me aside to make it look like an accident, they brought me back to life. I never felt quite right again but I didn't realize why. Three years later is when I first started occasionally feeling like I was melting, but when I looked in the mirror I always saw myself. The first time I figured out what it meant was because I 'changed' in front of Charles unknowingly. I 'woke up' that time to Charles beating me," she curled herself into a fetal position, "I begged him to stop trying to understand what I had done wrong imploring him to tell me how to make it better. He just kept hitting me and calling me a "freak" a "demon" a "devil" and telling me that he understood and still loved me all at the same time. His admissions of love were what I grabbed onto. He later explained what had happened. He told me that he saw me melt into a puddle as you have just seen and then the thirteen year old me stood before him. Apparently the thirteen year old version of me had better sense then sixteen year old me did and started attacking him, which is why he was beating me. I was immediately afraid of myself, of what I might be capable of. I searched for any clue as to someone or some way to control my changing. I finally found a book, a spellbook if you can believe it, which explained that the transformations were triggered whenever the transformer was out of control of their emotions. After that I tried to focus on containing my emotions and when I couldn't I learned to recognize a warning burn in my feet and then I knew I had to lock myself in a room so no one other than Charles would ever find out my secret. I also wanted to protect everyone from what thirteen year old me could do. One day I felt it coming on and I locked myself in my study and when I woke up I was sitting at my pen and paper with a perfectly written journal entry staring back at me. I read it anxious to know what the thirteen year old me had been thinking. It was a message and a warning." She led the way back out to the living room as I followed. She reached into the chest and pulled out an entry different than the others because it wasn't written on traditional paper. It was written on expensive wedding invitation paper.
August 3, 1613
Esme, you don't know who I am and wouldn't believe me if I told you. So take what I have to tell you on blind faith. Charles is toxic. He does not love you and I wish you could realize that. I also really don't like your taste in music. Beyond that please do not under any circumstances marry Charles. I know there is someone better out there but either I haven't met him or you are being stubborn about him. I got such a confusing flare of emotions when I spotted the name Carlisle sewn onto your pillow that I had to sit down. Please be warned to never return to Green Bay unless you have someone to protect you. Also do not ever wander out alone. I have been doing a lot of studying since you tend to lock me up in your library looking for more information on witches and have come across a few books that I thought were closest to the mark however I found rather more accurate news articles, the types of articles that most people would put down as mere paranoia and fiction. There are a few things therefore that you should know; first, witches can live very long lives often existing for numerous centuries, they do however still age and eventually die; second, witches are very territorial; and third, having been attacked or affected by a witches magic once increases the victims susceptibility to other attacks.
"My, your thirteen year old self was a scatter brain wasn't she," I said solemnly
"At least we know better what we are facing."
"You are crazy if you think I am going to let you anywhere near witches after what has happened to you. I would never risk your safety like that."
"Carlisle as much as you don't like it I am sure I am the key to this. Whatever happened to me years ago is in the past and I have come to accept it. Since coming back to Green Bay however I have felt this pull in my stomach that I can't shake. I feel as if I know where it is leading me but I am not sure." By this point our children had picked up on our conversation and were listening intently. As I felt their eyes boring holes into my back I felt the urge to leave and not come back until my family was safe again, but I knew that I would never do that and they would never allow me to. Edward, reading my thoughts, automatically went to stand in front of the door. "I was never going to actually leave," I snarled. As we told our children about our latest knowledge discussion broke into an all-out argument finally Rosalie shouted, "Stop! All of this is great but the simple fact remains that we are no closer to knowing how to kill these creatures then we were before." As everyone turned to look at Esme I realized that for the first time the family was not looking at me for answers, and I also realized that Esme had been the one making the decisions all along I just gave them a voice.