A/N: Knowing that Deeks was getting arrested this week did not help me to feel any better when the time came. So many feelings. Kensi's face. I can't take it. Ugh.
"I love you."
Three words were all he could give her as metal cuffs bit into his wrists. Three words that he needed to mean so much more.
"I'm sorry."
"I couldn't tell you."
"I wish…"
Hands were shoving him into the back of a squad car. He should have known. Things had been good, so good, for far too long. He was Marty Deeks. Life had a habit of not working out for him. He should have known that it would all come crashing down in an instant, turning himself and everyone around him into rubble.
He felt ill. Physically sick. He had hurt her, was hurting her. He should have stayed away. If he loved her at all, and god he loved her more than anything, he should have left her alone. He should never have allowed himself to fall so far and take her down with him.
He turned his head but couldn't bring himself to watch her through the window. He couldn't bear to see the pain and confusion and horror on her face as they pulled away. His heart was already broken and he couldn't stand to watch hers break as well.
The closing of the car door sounded like the closing of a coffin. They were through. He had done the one thing he'd known would hurt her the most. He'd promised never to lie to her. And now she would never forgive him.
"I love you."
They were burning to the ground and he had lit the match.
"I love you."
She was shattering, the words echoing in her ears, piercing her heart with their razor edge. Words she'd come to cherish suddenly a knife directly into her soul as the full weight of them settled on her.
"I lied."
"I can't be trusted."
"Goodbye."
He was walking away, he was leaving her. A horrible, familiar feeling of loneliness and gut wrenching despair paralyzed her, rooting her to the spot, making her unable to go after him, to force him tell her what was happening.
This could not be happening to her. Not again.
The ground had been ripped from beneath her feet and the world was tilted on its axis. Everything she thought she knew thirty seconds ago had vanished into thin air. Nothing made sense. They were supposed to be going home, to their house, their dog, their life. But he was gone, and she was alone, and she couldn't comprehend the agony that was stealing her breath away.
"I love you."
He said it like a promise but she felt it like a lie.
A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!