Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: This is for Julia (Piper Maru Duchovny), for her birthday. She's 18! Go tell her happy birthday! I love you oodles, fake daughter of mine. Random words, Gilmore quotage, and the fact that we can disagree on so many things, but agree on the important stuff and know that that's really what matters. Love you kid. Sorry this is kinda angsty.
Thanks to Jenna for the help!
"Honey, it's a quarter to 6."
Mac groaned and buried his face in the pillow. Claire chuckled and pinched his toes through the sheets.
"Come on honey, you have to get up. Duty calls."
"Yeah, well I went deaf in the night."
"You have that meeting today."
"Ug."
"Remember if you're late again, you have to buy Stella lunch."
"I hate when you two conspire against me."
"I have to leave in an hour so this bed is just going to keep getting colder."
"Hmm."
"I made you breakfast."
"Breakfast?"
"There's eggs," she said, inching closer to him. "And bacon. Pancakes. Orange juice."
"Breakfast does sound good."
"Then you have to get out of bed."
"How dare you use logic on me, Claire Taylor?"
She just smiled and pulled out of his grasp, heading out the bedroom door.
"Hurry up or someone else is going to take your spot."
"Well then save my seat."
He could hear her laughter as she went into the kitchen. He threw the blankets off and stood up, rubbing his eyes and walking into the bathroom. He showered and dressed quickly, then joined his wife in the kitchen. The early morning light streaming through the windows gave her an almost ethereal glow, and he had to hold on to a chair to remain upright.
"These started out as chocolate chip pancakes, but I ran out of chocolate chips, so I threw some chocolate syrup in there instead."
"Honey, how long have you been up?"
"The temp agency called just before five. They have a job for today and tomorrow."
"I thought you were going to go shopping with your sister today."
"I was, but she has the flu. Figured I could go do a job for a few days and by the time I'm done, she'll be feeling better."
"Where's the job at?"
"One of the offices in the Trade Center. I'll have to look again. What time do you think you'll be home tonight?"
"Later than you. Why?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
"You think you're wily, don't you?"
"I know I am."
She leaned down and kissed him softly before sitting down across from him and opening the paper. She handed him the sections he liked, and kept the others for herself. The comics sat in the middle of the table. They could never agree on who got to read them first, so they had to do it together. They ate and read quietly, stealing glances at each other every so often. Even after so long, she still made his heart pound. He even caught himself stuttering sometimes. He had no idea how he got so lucky.
"I've gotta go, honey," she announced a while later, standing up from the table and gathering her dishes.
"Call me when you get a lunch break."
"I will. Be safe today. Don't walk into the lab at the wrong time again. I'm kind of fond of your eyebrows."
"Then why did you insist on taking a picture of me without them?"
"For the grandkids."
"You're lucky I love you, Claire."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. See you tonight."
She kissed him once more, then left the house, her perfume lingering for several minutes. He glanced out the window and watched her get into her car, giving him a little wave before she drove off.
Mac Taylor was never an early riser by choice. Growing up it had been a requirement to get up and out of bed pretty much before the sun did. It was common knowledge that sleeping until seven a.m. wasted half the day. As an adult, he had slightly more freedom and truth be told, would much rather stay in bed. But he had a job to do, and it wouldn't wait until noon.
This morning though, as a cool mist filled the air, Mac was ready to wake up. What he had to do this morning was more important than house chores or a new case. Today he had to take a special trip. Today was Claire's birthday.
He drove to the cemetery, enjoying the silent slowness of the morning. He left the radio off and basked in the solitude and peace. All was calm. All was bright.
The bouquet of flowers he had picked up last night was a colorful collection of different shapes and sizes. Claire would have loved it. She was never one for roses or daisies, and much preferred a deep purple calla lily or a yellow jasmine. That was her preference, and that was her personality. Deep and rich.
He walked over to the spot he knew so well, kneeling next to it and placing the bouquet in the small metal holder. He didn't speak, he didn't cry, he just existed in the space, allowing the calm that lived here to wash over him and seep into his very soul. It wasn't really his inclination, but that was part of what made Claire who she was. She brought him out of his comfort zone in a way he never noticed until it was over. She became his comfort zone, and he was still mystified as to how she had done that.
He knelt in the grass for a long time until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find Stella, the only bright spot that still existed so continuously. She stooped down next to him and set a brilliant bouquet of her own next to the granite stone. They were quiet for several minutes before he turned and looked at her.
"I miss her, Stella."
"I know."
"Do you believe in the after life?"
"I have to. Death is too final if I don't. I don't want death to be final."
"I wish..."
He trailed off when he realized that none of his words were adequate. He could wish anything, but that wouldn't make it come true. He understood and accepted the futility.
"Stella?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think it's wrong to move on?"
"No."
"Do you think I have?"
"In some ways, maybe. I think what's more important is that you're happy. You can miss her and want her here, but don't allow that to rule your life. She would never want that."
"No, she wouldn't."
He reached over and touched the cold stone, tracing over the words with his finger before standing up. Stella squeezed his hand.
"Come on, it's still early. I'll buy you breakfast."
He smiled and took once more look at the place where Claire rested. Life may continue and he may move on, but she stayed in his heart. She always would. Maybe somehow, they would have their forever again.
Was it a million miles to heaven
Too far to hear my lonely song
Or is it just my imagination I hear you humming along
I only hold you in my dreams now
I wake up with cold and empty arms
Lord help me get through this long night without you
And soon as the morning comes
Soon as the morning comes
Save me a seat at the breakfast table
Save me a dance around the Milky Way
And save me a thousand years to whisper in your ears
All I've wanted to say
Save me a smile and an angel's feather
Save me a walk down the streets of gold
And baby, we'll change our minds just like old times
And maybe we'll just fly away
Or maybe we'll stay
My lucky doll, you're in heaven before me
You were my taste of heaven here
Remember we loved to talk about it, we couldn't wait to get there
So you go on and find your way around now
But remember I'm here missing you
Do me a favor and say hey to Jesus
And tell him I'm missing him too
Tell him I'm missing him too
Then save me a seat at the breakfast table
Save me a dance around the Milky Way
And save me a thousand years to whisper in your ears
All I've wanted to say
Save me a smile and an angel's feather
Save me a walk down the streets of gold
And baby, we'll change our minds just like old times
And maybe we'll just fly away
Or maybe we'll stay
Baby we'll fly away
We'll fly away
'Cause I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
Baby let's fly away
Fly and fly and fly
Forever
We'll have forever
We'll have forever
Can't wait to see you
Can't wait to hold you again
You were my taste of heaven, we'll have forever
Can't wait to see you, can't wait to hold you
