Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story idea!

This is just a cute one-shot I had to write in between essays because that's just how it works for me! It's sort of a slice of life look into what might have happened after the season finale. Enjoy!

Please review and let me know what you think :)

"Go away Chuck. I mean it"

"No you don't."

Blair pulled the cell phone back from her ear and glared at it. She hoped the invisible lazer beams of loathing shooting out of her eyes travelled down through the phone and gave him radiation poisoning so all his skin would drop off and he'd grow another arm. All the better to grope sluts with probably.

"Wow you're arrogant even when trying to grovel."

Chuck sighed as if this was all her fault.

"If you didn't want to talk to me you wouldn't have answered the phone."

His ego obviously stopped him recalling the other hundred phone calls he'd made to her home and cell phone, the other hundred emails, voice messages, flowers and sky writing. Okay no. He only sky wrote an apology once.

Cheap ass.

"Maybe I just want to reiterate what a shitty human being you are. You're a shitty human being Chuck Bass but luckily I don't waste my time with them. Goodbye."

She felt momentarily exhilarated at telling him where to shove his pathetic begging and extra appendages. Then she had the sinking feeling that she was cutting off her nose to spite her face.

Too bad. She was sick of being victim to idiots of the male persuasion, she'd like to think that they were all like that and she wasn't just a phenomenally bad judge of character that let her hormones lead her but now she had Derek.

Derek was perfect.

He was like the Ken doll she'd always wanted in real life only with brains and not severely lacking in the downstairs department.

She wished she had screamed down the phone to the jackass that Derek, her new boyfriend, eclipsed him in the bedroom as well as the perfect boyfriend but that wasn't quite true. Or it might have been but they hadn't done that yet.

Why?

Because Blair had learnt self-restraint, the value of emotional intimacy and had seen the bigger picture...

Also Derek was devoutly Christian.

They had met through their parents but it was love at first sight she was sure. He had gleaming white teeth and piercing blue eyes and was on the lacrosse team. He was also going to Yale. This boy was truly the one.

He watched Greys Anatomy with her and even sat with her while she had her pedicures. He spoke four languages and he never argued with her in any of them. It was blissfully right.

Yet Chuck hadn't given up. Of course not, not now he had a challenge and that's what the ass loved best. He didn't know Derek as he wasn't a) a druggie b) a pervert c) a sadist so they didn't really run in the same circles despite similar wealth (his father was a bigwig in silicon valley). That also made him appealing.

The phone began to ring again and Blair cursed that she hadn't just left it on silent.

"Chuck! Get the hint or I'll get a restraining order you stalker."

"Are you ever going to forgive me?"

"Nope."

"C'mon I had a slip."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"We hadn't been dating a week and you blew off Europe and slept with someone else. That's not a slip that's relationship sabotage so good work."

He paused.

"I was scared. People get scared Blair."

The resentful way he spat it out made her believe he was sincere but then again he was an operator and it was a pathetic excuse.

"You think I wasn't terrified of dating the biggest fuck up in New York city who never touched a girl without giving her some sort of emotional trauma? I was such a idiot. I broke all my rules and look where it got me."

She felt tears forming at the back of her eyes. They were tears of humiliation not pain. She didn't give a shit about him.

"I love you."

Blair laughed coldly at his outburst. It was the first time he had ever said it to her directly but it was too little too late.

"Are you finished?"

He sucked in a breath. Ha!

"What and you're happy with Mr. Bland?"

"He's not bland. Just because he's not screwing with my head doesn't make him bland."

Why was she justifying anything? She should just hang up.

"I had a ten minute conversation with Derek and after three I wanted to throw myself off the balcony."

"If only."

Surprisingly he let out a soft laugh.

"That's my girl."

"Nope. Never again."

"We'll see."

"Oh? Do you want it in writing? Who did your skywriting? I'll spell it out for you in big white letters with lots of exclamation marks."

"The fact you hate me means you care."

"Are you high?"

What sort of logic was that? The logic of the desperate and deranged apparently.

"You haven't hung up yet darling."

She hung up.

"Take that!"

She threw her cell phone into the pillows on her couch.

"Who are you shouting at Blair?"

Here mother appeared at the top of the stairs with a curious look on her face.

"Nobody just venting."

The slow way her mother descended the stairs and the uncomfortable expression that marred her otherwise immaculate appearance told Blair that there was going to be another attempted mother-daughter moment. They were becoming more frequent and she wasn't sure either of them were really ready. The whole crying on her lap about wanting to escape New York a few months back was completely extraordinary and now they had been struggling to adjust to a happy medium between silent cohabitation and family unity. Plus absence made the heart grow fonder and she had been in Europe most of the summer.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Blair shrugged.

"I think you are all too well aware of the drama revolving around worthless representations of men."

Her mother smiled in amusement.

"Aren't you a little young to be wising up about that? It took me decades and a failed marriage. These generations do grow up fast."

"I've had enough experience of them for the rest of my life. What I can't get from them I'll get from chocolate, soap operas and a vibrat-"

She swallowed the rest of her sentence when she realised who it was she was rambling bitterly too.

Her mother mercifully chose to ignore that.

"Is this about Derek? I didn't know you two had broken up."

Blair sighed and her mother took it as a cue to sit down opposite her.

"Derek is great. That's the problem."

"Now you've lost me."

"I'm not used to considerate, selfless guys who think of you first and not their southern regions. It's like I'm not functional with someone who isn't making me miserable."

Her mother frowned.

"I hope you don't get any of this from me."

"The worst thing is it that Derek doesn't really know me. He believes I'm something I think he wants because I want the easy, fairytale relationship with no complications but it's a contradiction in terms right? I mean the only guy who truly knows me is the one guy that I refuse to lower myself to ever again. How unfair is that?"

Her mother just nodded, whatever Blair may think about her supposedly 'hands-off' parenting, she was used to her ranting and knew she seldom expected a response.

"Derek will eventually see I'm exactly like the guy I despise and will hate me in turn because eventually I'll get bored of playing nice and probably end up hurting him which sucks because he's nice. Kinda dull but nice. What do you think I should do?"

She had never talked so candidly to her mother before but she needed to let off steam without having the 'I told you so' look terribly concealed on Serena's face.

"Darling, I think you should do what makes you happy. Be honest with yourself or you're the one doing yourself a disservice. You don't need to be in a relationship to be whole and you don't need to have everything easy to be content. Sometimes things are a risk, things hurt but that's how you grow. I don't want to see you pretending like your father pretended to me."

Blair nodded, it seemed childish to play Derek for a fool when she had received the same treatment.

"Thanks mom."

Her mother beamed proudly.

"You're welcome."

There was an awkward silence before her mother got up.

"Well Blair I'm going to go do some work. Why don't you get changed and stopped moping about the house? You only have a week left before school starts again and you'll kick yourself for wasting it."

She wasn't moping it was just every time she was with friends or in public it meant Chuck could find her, serenade her embarrassingly or crash her social plans. Hopefully he'd get bored by the time school started back or she was going to murder him or cave in.

She was praying for murder.

Suddenly her elevator opened and Nate appeared in the foyer.

"Nate."

"Hey B how was your summer?"

Blair shrugged as she waved him over, she wasn't going to bother getting up when she had a feeling this was not a social visit.

"Europe was fine. Not like I haven't been before, how about you? I hear you dumped your charity chase."

Nate frowned.

"Yeah me and Vanessa didn't work out, but we're still friends."

"I'm sensing a pattern here."

Nate smiled politely, anything relating back to their 'history' was a dangerous area to step into with Blair. She rolled her eyes, and Chuck thought Derek was bland? Nate could barely hold a conversation.

"So Nate did you just come by to talk me to death or-?"

She made a circular hand motion to indicate he should maybe get to whatever point he had.

"I'm here because of Chuck."

He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously.

"Of course you are. I'm surprised though, do all cheaters have some sort of duty to each other?"

"He's my best friend and frankly I'm sick of seeing him acting like a moron. Chuck wouldn't have sung outside anyone else's apartment like an idiot. He's lost his cool and it's freaking me out."

Blair couldn't help but feel a little triumphant, it's always flattering to hear when you break someone's spirit.

"Did he tell you his 'inspired' choice of song was 'sexual healing' and that my mom had to hear his off key rendition and see his pelvic thrusting too. It was mortifying."

Nate burst out laughing.

"He was trashed and was absolutely horrified in the morning if that makes you feel better."

Blair smiled slightly.

"A very little."

"What he did was bad B but the girl meant nothing to him and you've forgiven me for worse."

That was true, so why was it so hard to give Chuck a break? Nate must have really cared about Chuck to bring up his own infidelity so lightly. It was a little touching, they at least had loyalty to each other even if not to her.

"Maybe I'm sick of having to forgive people. Besides I'm with Derek."

She began painting her nails as the sign that the conversation was over. Nate slumped his shoulders.

"So any message to pass on?"

Blair pretended to look conflicted for a moment before smiling sweetly.

"Tell him to give up."

He shook his head and spoke softly.

"He never will. You should hear the way he talks about you."

She felt something tighten unusually in her chest but she ignored it.

"No thank you. See you at school Nathaniel."

He made the motion of zipping his mouth shut while backing up towards the elevator cheekily. Whatever he did he was still cute. Guys sucked.

The red lights of Blair's digital clock illuminated that it was an ungodly hour of the night. The wind and rain were battering against her window but through it she could heard music. She wasn't sure which woke her up but she had a sinking feeling that this wasn't good.

Oh no.

She ripped the covers off her bed and stumbled half-asleep over to her balcony. In her haze of sleep she exited onto it to satisfy her morbid curiosity only to be drenched. It was only a summer storm but being wet whatever the weather wasn't exactly comfortable.

"Chuck?"

Down below Chuck was pacing erratically around on the pavement with his limo patiently waiting behind him. She was astonished none of her anal neighbours had complained but most of them were probably comatose on sleeping pills.

Upon noticing vaguely (he was so drunk she was impressed he was upright) that he had her attention he began singing louder.

"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try"

Apparently continuing ABBA was too difficult as he began to hum the rest instead until the lines 'but I think you know, that I can't let go' when he slumped on to his knees and reached his hands out to her in an absurdly cheesy manner. He stayed like that for awhile before picking up the rest of the song as if nothing had happened.

"Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough to last when things are rough
It's magic
You say that I waste my time but I can't get you off my mind
No I can't let go
'cos I love you so"

Blair had forgotten about being in a soppy wet see-through nightie or that she was cold. She was too busy deciding whether to or not to pity Chuck for such an uncharacteristically vulnerable act. He must know that she'd never let him hear the end of this yet he kept on coming back trying to win her over.

"Chuck go home!"

Chuck finally turned off his stereo, bent over, and threw up on the curb.

"I don't feel so good Blair."

She groaned.

"Then go home."

"But you wont be with me."

"Duh, go pick up a hooker if you're looking for body heat."

"But I want your body, your heat."

Blair felt a shooting pain beginning just behind her eye.

"We've been over this. I'm going to bed."

He began chuckling.

"I can see your booooobs."

He pointed to them as if she had suddenly forgotten their location and began drawing imaginary ones in front of him.

"Chuck you'll get pneumonia if you don't leave."

"See you do care!"

He giggled. He actually giggled to himself like a girl. It was...weird.

"I'm going to get hoarse shouting like this Bass."

"Then let me in!"

He tried to act out the actions of letting someone in through a door but he tripped over himself (she had no idea how) and fell on his butt.

He was acting like a little boy, it was annoyingly cute.

She couldn't believe her feet actually led her to get a dressing gown, go down the elevator and let him through the lobby door. Her body was betraying her!

"Thanks B."

He wouldn't stop staring at her chest.

"Eyes up drunkard."

He grinned lopsidedly.

"Can I kiss you yet?"

Blair manoeuvred him over to a seat by the deserted front desk so he wouldn't collapse and crack his head on the marble table in front of them. It was a great table and it didn't deserve his brain matter ruining it.

"You just chucked up outside. I think I'll pass."

His eye's lit up.

"Tomorrow then?"

His slurring was getting worse but somehow she could still make out actual human language.

"You wont remember tomorrow."

She sat down next to him despite the stench of alcohol.

"I'm sorry for everything. Being in love is confusing, it's like you don't know who you are anymore so you try and find yourself again by doing the old stuff that defined you. I'm making no sense but whatever the room is kind of wavy. Who lives in a wavy building? Weird."

Ironically it was the most sense he had ever made since his campaign back into her heart started. It wasn't arrogance or sleazy charm or bribery it was just trying to rationalise his actions as simply as he could.

She was going to say something when he slide down and rested his head on her shoulder. Despite their wet clothing and the air-conditioning she felt pleasantly warm. He then slide down even further until he slumped to the side so he could rest his head awkwardly on her lap.

A lazy hand began to rub up and down her leg and familiar tingles began to ignite hotly right where he was lying.

"You're not getting lucky tonight Bass. Not with me."

Her throat felt dry. She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince anymore.

"I know. Just wanted to touch you."

He began to hum into her crotch, she wasn't sure whether or not he had intended to turn her on but it was all working. She leapt up quickly and Chuck landed on the ground. Again.

"Fuck!"

"You have to leave now."

"Why?"

"Because it's way too early to be dealing with your shit. I want to sleep and so should you."

She walked as fast as her shivering body could carry her. Away from Chuck she was suddenly aware of wet she was. In more ways than one unfortunately.

"Wait!"

She didn't wait. Couldn't. It would end up a place her pride refused to let her go.

At least right now.

The anger had cooled, the hurt had been soothed but the confusion and fear lingered painfully on. It was just less stress to detach from him.

She was waiting impatiently for the elevator, regretting ever getting out of it when an annoying presence had staggered over to her.

"Here."

He had taken off his sodden jacket and put it around her shoulders. The way he smiled at her made her heart skip but he didn't demand anything more, he just turned dangerously on his heel and stumbled to the entrance.

Her mind told her to detach.

"Chuck!"

She ran lightly over to him as he clung to the door for balance. He looked so comical and yet she didn't want to laugh. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do anymore. It was disconcerting.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

He saluted her with a wobbly hand. Sure a wet coat was hardly helpful but it was the thought that counted.

"Goodnight gorgeous."

Detach! Detach!

She leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"Call me tomorrow moron."

The look of pure joy that spread across his features made the betrayal of her pride worth it. He finally ran out into the rain as she backed away from the entrance.

Her heart wasn't so broken anymore.

Pride could go to hell.