A/N- I was watching the episode 'Beauty and the Beast' when an idea struck me. Do you remember the part where The Troll (aka Katrina) was eating all that dung in the dining room. Well I did, and while I was watching it the only thought going through my brain was. "How did all that crap get there?" Thus Peter and Jeffery were born!
"How the hell are we supposed to get that up there?" Peter asked Jeffery angrily, his emerald green eyes were alight with anger. To say Peter was agitated was an understatement. His blond hair was sticking up at all angles, making it obvious that he had just woken up, and he was directing a look of pure loathing towards the pile of dung in front of them. His clothes looked like he had been rolling around on the floor of the tavern, and knowing Peter, that's probably what he had been doing. So , there was a possibility he was also nursing a hangover.
Jeffery sighed. He was used to his friend's complaining, but this time he had resist the urge to join him. At the moment he was seriously regretting his career choice as a servant.
First the king had gotten married, forcing he and Peter to rush about for god only knows how long trying to get everything prepared. Then, their friend Merlin gets accused of being a thief, and had to flee out of Camelot. Then after that, the king disinherits the Prince, leading them to prepare for another ceremony to celebrate the naming of the Lady Katrina as an heir. Then of course, it turned out that the king had married a troll, leaving them in their current predicament.
"I've got no clue." He said as he ran a had through his dark brown hair. The two of them fell into a brief silence. They had been through a lot together, well about as much as two nineteen year-olds can go through, and not once had they ever faced something so impossible. That was saying something, considering they lived in Camelot.
"Maybe we could get a wagon or something?" Peter suggested.
"There is no way we could possible pull a wagon up all of those stairs, without assistance." He said and he rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day, and it kept getting longer. Peter started to speak again, but he made a gesture to silence him. He just needed time to think.
He turned his eyes to the pile, studying like he would math problem. His big brown eyes scanned every inch of the pile. He was instantly relieved that he hadn't had lunch yet, he had always had a weak stomach.
"What if we carried it through the castle, just a little bit at a time?" Peter asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Because we would be attacked by multiple knights, servants, and nobles for mucking up the castle. Plus, there's no way that I could make that many trips up those stairs. I have a hard enough time walking across a flat surface." He said slowly, attempting to control his already frayed temper, "Now just shut up for a minute and let me think!"
"Geez! I was just trying to help."
"Well it would be helpful if you would be quiet." He said flatly.
"You're a big bully." Peter mumbled, sounding like a child.
"What was that?" He inquired innocently.
"I said, what about a pulley." He said, and a pleased grin made it's way onto his face, probably because he had managed to find a word that rhymed with bully on such short notice. Then it hit him.
"Peter! You're a genius!" He exclaimed.
"Of course I am! You just haven't noticed it yet!" Peter yelled, but he sounded like he had no clue why he was beginning complimented.
"How did I not think of it sooner!" He mumbled to himself, as he started pacing back and forth. His mind turned itself on overdrive.
"Think of what, exactly?" Peter asked. He was eyeing his friend curiously.
"A pulley!"
"I'm still not following you."
"What if we built a pulley system in the window of the dining hall, and pulled it up. It might just work!" He explained impatiently.
"That's brilliant! Looks like I am a genius." He declared proudly.
So, the two servants set to work. Peter, being the most talkative, went to gather the supplies and donations from local merchants. While Jeffery, being the technical one, built the main section of the pulley. In the end, they had managed a fairly good system.
The pulley was attached to a flagpole, that was conveniently connected to the castle directly above the window they were using, and the ropes stretched all the way down to the courtyard. It was a miracle that they had gotten the ropes at all. The dining room was towards the third of fourth floor. (Jeffery still had no idea what Peter had to do to get those ropes, he wouldn't talk about it.) The ropes were connected to a medium sized, wooden platform. All they really needed to accomplish was getting the dung on the platform, and pulling the it up to the window.
That's where they finally found themselves an hour later. Their shirts were stretched over their noses, attempting to escape the horrid smell, and they were both armed with shovels.
"Well, let's get to work. The king wants this crap in the dining hall by supper." Peter said, his voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
"Why do you think he wants it there?" Jeffery asked. It really didn't make sense to him why some one would want dung where they ate. Then again, horses managed to live with it.
"I don't know and I don't care. I'm also pretty sure neither of us actually want that particular answer." Peter replied and funny thought raced through Jeffery's mind.
"Can you imagine what the noble will think when they see a pile of dung in the dining hall?" He said, trying to muffle his laughter in his shirt.
"Oh I've got a pretty good guess." Peter said, his grin was getting larger.
"Well let's hear it."
"It will probably be along the lines of 'Are you shitting me?'" Despite the fact that that joke was probably one of the worst that he had ever heard, he laughed, and soon the both of them were rolling on the ground laughing their heads off. Earning themselves strange looks from the stable boys. Sleep deprivation does some strange things to the human mind.
Eventually, they managed to regain their composure, and together they shoveled the dung onto the platform. With each shovel full of dung, their arms got heavier. It didn't help that they hadn't slept or had a decent meal in days.
"I'm so tired." Peter whined as he put the last shovelful on the pile.
"Shut up Peter, I don't want to deal with your crap." He said jokingly, making Peter crack a small smile. "Look on the bright side, all we need to do is pull it up and were done."
"What could possible go wrong." Peter mumbled.
"Those are famous last words my friend."
"Exactly."
"Would you stop acting so depressed. As soon as we're done we can go back to our quarters and sleep."
"I can't wait, to think that I actually miss our room." He stated. It shocked Jeffery to hear his roommate say something like that. Peter detested their quarters with a passion. The two of them had always been closer than bothers, so it didn't bother them to share servant's quarters together. However, there were certain issues with their living arrangement. There were holes in the walls, loose floor boards, and it was constantly rated the worst place to live by all of the other servants. Even with all the bad things, they really didn't have a problem living there. If it weren't for the rats. Peter hated rats.
He stood there with his mouth hanging open a little. His friend might as well have grown a second head.
"Well are you going to stand there all day, or can we get this over with." Peter said, and he snapped his fingers repeatedly in front of Jeffery's eyes to get his attention.
"You miss our room?" He ask bewildered, the only response he got was Peter rolling his eyes and walking towards one of the castle entrances.
"Hey wait up!"
"Heave!" Peter yelled.
"SHUT UP!" Jeffery yelled back, tightening his grip on the rope. He felt his shoes loose some of their traction, and sweat drip from the tips of his hair onto his face.
"Who knew it was this heavy?" Peter said, his arms were shaking under the weight. The platform was about one meter away from the window, and what stamina they had was almost gone. Three good pulls should do it, if their arms didn't give out first.
The slack portion of the rope was littered across the floor, making it difficult to walk without tripping over it, in one place or another. Jeffery had both his feet planted firmly on the stone floor behind Peter and Peter had one of his feet braced against the wall.
"Heave!" Peter yelled again, much to Jeffery's dismay. He, however, still pulled as hard as he could and he felt the platform move up a little. Two more to go.
"Heave!" Peter repeated and once again they pulled. He could see the top of the dung pile peaking over the window seal.
"Three, two, one, heave!" He yelled before Peter could. They both gave it their best shots and with one giant pull, they were finished. Good fortune seemed to find them because the platform had been swinging just enough for it to land half way through the window. However, they didn't count on the loss of tension in the rope, and Jeffery soon found himself on the floor with a confused Peter on top of him.
"Peter get off of me." He groaned and he pushed him off, somehow still managing to hang onto the rope, preventing it from toppling over the side of the castle. Knowing what kind of days they had had recently, it would have probably skid down the stone wall and land on some poor unsuspecting nobleman. Being thrown in the stocks was not something he would be too thrilled about.
Peter slowly got off of him and he grabbed the base of the platform and pulled it the rest of the way into the dinning hall. The wood met stone with a large crash, that echoed loudly. Some of the dung fell from the top of the pile and onto the floor next to him. He really wasn't planning on moving at all, but having something that foul fall next to your face can quickly change ones opinion.
He jumped to his feet making an undignified shriek, as he went.
"That was quite a noise, Jeffery." Peter said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Shut up." He huffled, making Peter laugh.
"Whatever Jeff. It doesn't matter. All that matters now is that all of our tasks are complete." He declared proudly, and he threw his arm around Jeffery's shoulders, forcing him to hold most of his hands weight. "And now we get to go back home. Then fall into deep comas!"
Five hours later-
Jeffery was having such a pleasant dream, until a loud knock radiated through the room.
"Someone better be dying." Peter yelled into his pillow. Jeffery rolled his eyes and made his way over to the door. He opened it to reveal one of the knight's servants.
"Hiya Lloyd. What's happening?" He asked the older man, while he wiped the sleep from his eyes.
"I just got word that the king needs a few servants to clean the dung from the dining hall."
"An what, exactly, does that have to do with us?" He asked. He didn't like where this was going.
"The other servants recommended you for the job." As soon as the words were out of the older man's mouth, he felt his jaw drop. In the background, he heard Peter shout profanities and random objects around the room.
He didn't used to be a violent person, but now he was seriously reconsidering.
A/N- I'm not exactly happy with the ending, but I got my point across. Please leave a review.
