To say that Harry Potter was complicated was the understatement of the century. Not just because he was the Chosen One, the Boy Who Lived – despite all of the fame that was thrust upon his shoulders since birth, he was complicated for many other reasons, reasons that even he didn't like to admit existed. There were days when he could ignore all of the fame and escape the labels that seemed to plague him but he couldn't escape his thoughts and it was those that caused him so much trouble.
What frustrated him the most however was that he couldn't talk to anyone about the thoughts that haunted him; Ron would never, not in a million years, understand and then there was Hermione. Since first year when they became friends he had thought of her as a sister, but this year something seemed to have changed between them. Harry had always imagined Ron and Hermione ending up together, the white picket fence and two perfect children storyline that he remembered reading in stories when he was younger but Hermione had shown a different side and he was confused as to what was going on between them.
She had always been there for him with her wise words and intelligence, something that he greatly valued and had always needed over the years but recently she had been there for him in different ways. It was small things that he had picked up on; a stare across the common room, a lingering touch. He had seen something different in her eyes and it worried him some – he did not feel anything other than a sisterly type love for her. He couldn't be entirely sure that it was love she was displaying towards him, but there was something different in her that he couldn't face; his feelings were for someone else.
The blonde hair and grey eyes that belonged to the object of his affections followed him everywhere. Harry couldn't understand his feelings for Malfoy anymore than he could understand Hermione's apparent feelings towards himself. After Cho, he had not felt this way towards anyone else and it scared him slightly that it was enemy he was feeling something for. It confused him to no end and he felt at a loss for what to do. It was not easy to walk up to someone and announce you liked them, thought about them often and dreamed about them; Harry snorted to himself at the thought and dismissed it immediately. He mused that he would probably never be able to admit to anyone his feelings for Malfoy, especially not to Malfoy himself and that was how he found himself alone in the common room one night, the fire raging in front of him and his head a million miles away. He had given up on sleep; each time he closed his eyes, the familiar sneer of Malfoy's face swum in front of him and he had climbed out of bed, desperate for anything to take his mind of it.
The fire in front of him warmed the room so effectively Harry forgot it was the middle of winter and when he heard footsteps and glanced around to see where they came from, he was surprised to see snow falling softly outside the window. He saw a shadow approaching from the girl's staircase and two feet appeared, quickly followed by a body that Harry recognized as Hermione's. She looked surprised to see him sat there and he turned back to the fire, aware that she had padded over and sat next to him. His eyes looked down to see her leg almost touching his and he felt a sinking in his heart; he would never want her.
"Can't sleep?" Her voice was soft and Harry nodded. "Me neither." He watched as her hand reached for his and it hurt him slightly to see openly how much she cared. He let her hold his hand for a moment before pulling it away and she looked at him, concern written across her face.
"I'm sorry." Harry said quietly though he was sure Hermione didn't know what he was apologising for. He turned to look at her and met her brown eyes, seeing much more than he wanted to there.
"Harry, I – "
"I don't want you. Ron deserves you, Hermione. You know that, deep down." His voice was cold and it shocked even him to hear it escape his mouth. She never took her eyes off him and he admired her for that.
"You don't mean that." She whispered and he shook his head, standing up and putting distance between them. The intensity of such a simple conversation was making him nervous and he took a few steps towards the portrait hole, desperate to get away.
"I do. Go back to bed." He turned and opened it, hearing a loud sob as he stepped out and shut it behind him. He felt the pain in his chest at hurting his friend and knew then that their friendship was wounded well beyond repair; things would never be the same between them anymore. Harry pulled the Invisibility Cloak from his robes, thankful that he always kept it on him, and covered himself in it. His footsteps barely made a noise as he walked through the maze of corridors that was Hogwarts. He loved how this castle had so easily become his home, his safe haven yet now he felt as if he wanted to get away from it all – his feelings were getting the better of him and it frustrated him that he couldn't talk to anyone openly about it.
He rounded a corner, not sure where he was and stopped in his tracks as if held back by an invisible force. Malfoy sat on the floor halfway down the corridor and the blonde haired boy looked up having heard the sound. Harry clamped his hand over his own mouth to stifle his breathing and Malfoy gave up looking for something he couldn't see. Slowly and cautiously Harry moved down the corridor until he was directly opposite the Slytherin and he sat down across from him, careful not to let the cloak reveal that he was there. Malfoy stared at the wall but from Harry's point of view it was as if he was staring straight at Harry and the lightening scarred boy liked to think that Malfoy knew he was there.
"I hate you." The emotion in Malfoy's statement startled Harry and he jumped slightly at the sudden sound. Harry had no time to ponder who he was talking about when Malfoy kept talking, the pain on his pale face worrying Harry slightly. "I hate you and you don't even know how much I love you."
Malfoy's second statement shocked Harry even more and his fingers itched at the edge of the cloak; he was tempted to take it off. Malfoy continued to stare at Harry, though he was under the impression he was only staring at the wall, and Harry resisted the temptation to sigh loudly.
"I know you're there, Potter." Harry froze at his words and saw a smirk on Malfoy's face. Slowly he pulled the cloak off and Malfoy laughed. Harry was about to pull his wand out, surprised that Malfoy had not cursed him yet when the latter spoke once more. "I heard you at the end of the corridor; you aren't very good at hiding."
"Who were you talking about?" It seemed there was something different between them, the insults that were usually tossed between them were forgotten as the two stared at each other, Harry with a look of mild curiosity and the other with half a smirk on his face.
"Who do you think?" Malfoy asked in return and Harry shrugged, liking the way they were able to hold a conversation but feeling slightly confused as to the feelings it was bringing up within him. He kept staring into the grey eyes opposite him and felt something stir inside him. Ignoring the urge to move closer, he laughed quietly, the noise sounding foreign to him.
"Pansy?" Harry guessed lamely and Malfoy shook his head, not joining in with the laugh Harry had come out with. "I don't know, Malfoy." Harry sighed loudly and Malfoy looked at him with a stare so intense he had to look away.
"As much as it makes me sick to say it, I was talking about you, Potter." As his lips spoke the words, Harry felt his heart stop for a moment, unsure he had heard correctly but knowing deep down he had.
"Me?" It was all he could manage to come out with and when Malfoy nodded and a bitter laugh escaped him, Harry turned back to look at him. "Why?"
"Why not?" He answered and laughed again. Neither made any moves to get any closer but they had become incredibly closer in the last minute that Harry knew there was no turning back. He was not sure what was going to happen between them and as much as it scared him to think about what may come, he had to admit that he was just a little bit excited. The two sat in silence for a long while and avoided each other's gaze.
"What does this mean, then?" Harry asked, his voice coming out rough and the pair looked at each other again. A thousand words passed unspoken between them and Harry mused on how quickly things can change in someone's life; no less than an hour ago he had thought about never telling anyone his feelings for Malfoy yet here they were with everything laid bare between them.
"It means a new beginning." Malfoy said and Harry knew if they were being their usual selves and throwing insults at one another, he would have laughed at the ridiculous comment Malfoy came out with but after tonight, everything Malfoy said would have a different meaning. Harry's life from here on in would be even more complicated but he knew one thing for sure; Malfoy was someone who seemed to understand him and he was looking forward to discovering what else would come of their new relationship.
Argh! My fist Drarry and Harmony fic. This was written for someone wonderful as I don't usually ship those pairings. I hope this isn't too bad, please review if you liked it :)