"Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the ends of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:1-2
A warm breeze stirred the tangled locks of hair that fell over Johan's face. Although wide awake, he kept his eyes closed, trying to imagine he was laying on the soft white sand by Elyon's lake, surrounded by glowing trees and cooled by mist. That world seemed so far away.
He reached over to scratch his arm and his eyes snapped open. He glanced down at his skin – grey and flaking. The young boy forced himself to survey his surroundings once more. There was no beach; no lake; no trees. No Elyon. The sand stretched before him as far as he could see, and only the black, charred forest lay behind. Darkness and emptiness engulfed him, leaving him with nowhere to turn. Though Thomas and Rachelle were asleep not far from him, Johan had never felt so alone.
Slowly he sat up and leaned against the boulder behind him, pulling his knees close to his chest and leaning his head on them. Silently he gave way to the many strange emotions that had coursed through him since the attack. Sorrow, anger, doubt, loneliness, longing. All were so new and so terrible. He struggled to understand who he really was now. Was he still the happy green-eyed boy from the Colored Forest, chosen and cherished by Elyon? Or was he the grey-eyed creature crawling out from under black trees, bitter and alone? Were they deserted? Was it all hopeless?
Johan raised his head and watched the sky lighten as the morning came. Then somewhere, deep inside himself, the green-eyed Johan had the desire to sing. The small feeling grew steadily until all he could feel and think of was how desperately he wanted to sing, to use the gift Elyon had given him.
Standing quickly to his feet, the young boy scrambled onto the boulder behind him. After looking around, he slowly turned and faced the forest they had come from. He sat down cross-legged on top of the boulder and was silent for a moment, still longing to sing, but for the first time in his life he was unsure of how to start. Terror gripped him. What if he couldn't sing as he once had?
Johan took a shaky breath and filled his mind with thoughts of Elyon and all that had been lost. Slowly, hesitantly, a note came into his mind. His dry lips parted, and the note came out, followed by more, spinning into a song. The song carried on and grew louder, fuller, deeper. A last powerful note rumbled through his chest and thundered into the morning air, then Johan fell silent.
He slowly inhaled, remembering, grieving, wishing. Closing his eyes and raising his hands, the boy quietly began again. The soft notes drifted through the morning and Johan began to sing higher. As his voice climbed the scale his sorrow steadily grew.
Then his voice broke and his grief engulfed him.
The song distorted. Johan, who had never missed a note in his life, could not control his own voice. His song became more of a wail. Still he could not stop. The song continued in broken, faltering tones. Tears streamed from behind his closed eyes, running down his uplifted face. He spread his arms wide.
"Elyon, help us." The first broken words to his song were the plea his heart was screaming. "Elyon, help us."
Johan's body shook from his tears, from his struggle for notes, from his sorrow. His hands balled into fists and he thrust them into the air, wailing with more intensity, crying out with all his voice and all his heart.
There in the desert he lamented for any who would hear or take the time to listen, if there were any who could. He grieved for the fall of the Colored Forest, for the ache in his soul, for all that had been lost.
Elyon, help us.
Johan froze.
His song ended, his tears stopped flowing, and his hands dropped limply beside him. All he could do was stare numbly at the boy.
On the rise of sand next to the boulders there stood a small boy with very blonde hair, his slender arms hanging loosely at his side. He stared directly at Johan with large, piercing, brilliantly green eyes.
Johan sat there, stunned, as the child took three steps toward the boulder and stopped. The boy's lips parted slightly, but he did not speak. A loose curl of his hair lifted in the slight breeze. His feet barely pressed into the desert sand. His fingers curled gently. All this was instantly etched into Johan's mind, but it was the boy's eyes that consumed him.
Like two flawless emeralds the stared into Johan's heart, exposing the anger, terror, evil, and longing, but offering peace, joy, and unconditional, undeserved love. Elyon's love.
Elyon.
And then the boy opened his mouth.
A clear, beautiful tone filled the silence, making Johan gasp for breath. It pierced his heart and flooded his mind with far-removed memories of glowing trees, white beaches, and a lake. The notes grew, changed, became an intricate melody more beautiful and perfect than anything that could be sung by a human.
The boy took another step toward Johan, then closed his eyes and lifted his chin in song. The melody danced through the air, teasing and playing. Without taking his eyes off the small child, Johan swung his legs over the edge of the boulder and dropped to the sand.
Spreading his arms, the boy expanded his chest and let out a deep, powerful tone that shook the ground. Then the boy sang his first lyrics as his song gently rumbled over the desert.
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Johan's entire body began to shake. He thought his heart might explode with the power of the song's words. Standing straight, he slowly raised his trembling arms, stretching them out toward the boy, who continued to sing, higher and fuller.
I love you,
And I love the way I made you.
Then, with an earsplitting tone, the air shattered with one final note and fell silent. Johan's breath came in short gasps as once again he found himself staring into the emerald eyes as deep as Elyon's lake.
Elyon.
Though Johan couldn't understand it, he knew with every fiber of his being that the boy gazing at him was Elyon. And he wanted nothing more than to run to the boy, to be embraced once more by his Creator's love. He took a few slow steps forward, almost hesitantly. The boy stepped forward at the same time. Johan couldn't hold back. Both boys broke free and ran hard toward each other with wide arms.
They collided there on the desert floor, two small boys about the same height, like two long-lost twins reunited. Johan hadn't anticipated how hard he would hit the boy. They both grunted as their chests slapped together and they fell to the sand.
Johan began to giggle hysterically as the same time as the child lying next to him. He couldn't stop laughing, even when his sides began to ache. Joy like he had know in the Colored Forest filled him. Even though he was lying on the desert floor with flaking skin, he still laughed, because his Maker was laughing by his side.
Beyond their giggles, Johan heard laughing and excited clapping. "Elyon!" He realized it was Rachelle. He hadn't been aware of her or Tom since he had woken up that morning. Now he giggled even harder with Rachelle's excitement added to his own. "Elyon!" She wept and laughed as she clapped.
The boy suddenly sprang to his feet and Johan immediately followed. They chased each other over the sand, running around the boulders. The two played and tagged each other, always giggling. Then the boy turned toward Tom. Johan watched with a wide smile as the boy ran to Tom, embraced him, and whispered something in his ear. Tom let out a feeble grunt and the boy ran to Rachelle, embracing her as well. She began to sob.
A voice whispered in Johan's mind, still and small, but with all the power of the universe behind it.
I love you, Johan. I will always love you. Never, never forget me.
Johan wanted to scream, to cry, to fall to his knees. Before he could respond, he saw the boy sprinting away from their camp, then stopping and turning back to them.
"Follow me," he said, eyes sparkling mischievously.
The boy turned back around and ran up the dune in front of him. Johan immediately followed, racing past Tom and Rachelle, panting, but never slowing.
Follow me, the boy had said. And Johan knew he would follow him anywhere. He would follow him to the end of the world, into death, into anything. How could he ever leave or forget his Maker?
Johan had cried out in hopelessness and Elyon had answered. Here in the desert Elyon had shown His love again. They weren't abandoned. It wasn't hopeless.
Elyon was leading the way.
And Johan would follow.
"Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and He delivered them out of their distresses. And He led them forth by the right way . . ."
Psalm 107:6-7a
A/N - I have to make a quick disclaimer. Because this is basically just Johan's POV during a scene from the book, and because Dekker is an amazing writer, there are a few phrases/sentences that I borrowed from the book. So I just wanted to point out that those few are his, not mine. Ok thanks. :) Be sure to review!! :D