Author's Notes: This is an AU chapter about when Mr Bates and Vera left Downton. In my eyes, Bates couldn't just leave and not contact Anna at least once. And I decided that he would probably be the one to write to her, rather than her writing to him. This is his letter.
Disclaimer: Fellowes owns it, and deserves a sharp kick for all the mental anguish he's given us.
Dear Anna,
It has been just over a week since I left Downton, but more importantly, you. I have endeavoured not to think of you, but it has been in vain—nothing holds significance in my mind now if it is not tied in some way to you. Vera (and I do regretfully pen her name here) and I have settled in my late mother's house in London. Often I imagine you here when you visited my mother, and I wonder where you sat, what you were thinking, how you felt.
I look at her desk and see her writing to me about how lovely you were. How lovely you are. She berated me, truth be told, for not having waited for true love, for marrying Vera in haste instead of believing someone like you would come along. I berate myself, even now. Especially now.
You, my dear Anna, know me better than I know myself; you told me my motives for leaving you were stubbornly noble and of course you were right. Vera threatened me with a secret, a secret that would send Downton crashing down, you along with it. I couldn't bear that, my love, please understand. Please forgive me.
John