Suffering from writer's block in my RK fic, suffering from withdrawal from my just-completed Vandread fic, suffering from a lot of things I shall not bother you with.  Anyways, my name is EK.   This is my first attempt for Ranma ½, but I've written a lot of other things for other anime.  Hope you like this songfic.   If someone has tried this approach before me, my apologies, and I swear I am not plagiarizing.  Whatever I know comes from the anime, so please forgive any mistakes. 

"Iris", by the Goo Goo Dolls, used in the movie "City of Angels". 

………………………………………..

                I had my speech all ready and memorized. I had even practiced in front of a mirror in the department store---never mind that a lot of shoppers were gawking at me.  I did not have a large wardrobe to choose from, but I had worn my best tunic and cleaned my only pair of boots.  I was as ready as I could be. 

                So why won't the words come out of my mouth when I want them to? 

                I just wanted to ask Akane-san if she wanted to go for ramen today.  It was not supposed to be hard; just tell her, and that's that.  She would even have said yes, knowing Akane-san.  Such a sweet soul she has, even to someone as undeserving as I.  I suppose, it is that, exactly that, that sweetness………….that stops me cold. 

She has been nothing but kind to me, Akane-san, bless her heart. As a clueless wanderer,  she offered me a place for the night, and every night thereafter when I was in town.  As……as……..sigh……..as  P-chan, she has been an affectionate master that any animal can ask for, caring and cleaning up after me, seldom dressing me in outlandish pet clothes……….wait…….wait! Why am I elaborating on this part of me?!

Such is my misfortune. It is only as a pig that I can feel her warmth close to mine. It is only then that I can smell her simple perfume, relish the smooth skin of her hands, feel her loving breath speak kind words. By heaven and earth, I would give anything in my power to give, even my life, for just one time that I could embrace her as myself, as a man! 

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

                But as I arrived at the Tendo dojo, and saw her pretty face by the porch, all the words I had ready for her disappeared. I am speechless and motionless again before her. 

                But, lo, she approaches! She is coming toward me, running even, with a smile on her pretty face. 

                "It has been a while, Ryoga-kun!" she greets. "How have you been?" 

                My hands are sweating and shaking, and all I can mutter is her name, over and over. 

                "Why don't you come in?  Ranma's away for the week with his dad; training of some sort, he said," she says to me.

                Ranma is AWAY?! Fate has smiled upon me, at last! I clench my fists, take a deep breath, and get courage from what she just said.  "Akane-san……….Akane-san! I have some money saved up. May I please……..um………..treat you at the ramen shop, right now?" 

                She is taken slightly aback, but she thinks about it, thank goodness. "Well………..it will be a while before dinner, and I am a little hungry………….alright. Let me change first."

                "No, no, it's not necessary, Akane-san!" I exclaim. After all, she was already in one of her pretty blue summer dresses. I could not ask for any other outfit right now, if she would just, really just, come with me!  In fear that she might change her mind, I take up her hands and look at her eyes imploring.  And her hands fit just right inside mine!  

                "Well," she looks down at her dress, "If you're sure about that, let's go! I'll lead, so we're sure to get there in five minutes." 

                She is being kind about my weakness for navigation, and I am grateful. 

And all I could taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

                As soon as we reach the ramen shop, I quickly ask Akane-san to find a table, while I go to the kitchen to order.  I also go there to have Shampoo's help with something. 

                "Me keep a kettle running?" she reiterates. 

                "Two even, Shampoo," I say. "I am not letting anything go wrong! I have Akane-san out there, and I intend to stay human for the entire time I am here.  But should something happen, I am asking you to keep the service door open for me to enter. Then you pour the hot water." 

                "Shampoo do more than that," she nods. "She will not serve you cold drinks, if that is alright with you, just for security. And she will keep the buckets empty of cold water."

                "Thank you so much! I knew you would understand!" 

                "I will do anything to help keep Ranma with me," she responds with a smile. 

                She understands completely. We are the few and the cursed, and we have to help each other. 

                The cursed ones have all used their alter-egos to their advantage one time or another. But in my case, it has never been to my advantage to turn into a pig. I drown, I am boiled alive, I am hugged mercilessly by others. Some people consider my being P-chan an advantage to gain Akane-san. I personally do not think so. Because as P-chan, she only sees me as a pet, and she loves me as any human would love his dog or cat, and nothing more.  I want her to love me as me. I know I do not have much to offer in financial status and such, but what I can work hard to keep her happy.  As long as she loves me, as me. 

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

                I return to Akane-san, and we start a very nice conversation.  She fills me in on what has been happening in her school, the problems in the dojo, and Happosai's recent escapades.  I know I am bad at locations and directions, but I can appreciate a picturesque scene when I see it. I describe some the places I have been to. And I love the sparkle in her eyes as she imagines them, and wishes she could go there too.  So do I, Akane-san. I wish I could go back to some of those places, with you beside me. 

                Maybe Ranma does see what I see in Akane-san but he chooses not to let her know. I, on the other hand, want to let her know, but I can't.  When she finds out that I am the pet she adores and hugs and brings to bed with her, she's bound to go into a fit, and I will never be welcome again.  She will think that I am a maniac who took advantage of an opportunity, even if I tell her otherwise.  She won't love me then, either as a man or as a pet, and I know I can't live with that. 

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

                "Something the matter, Ryoga-kun?" she asks. She has probably noticed me twirling my noodles without eating them. I smile sadly and shake my head. 

                But I also want to know what she thinks.

                "Akane-san," I gulp, "Akane-san, please be honest. Do you like me, even a little?" 

                She is surprised, but she answers, "Why, yes, of course.  You've helped us all plenty of times, and when you're around you help in the house. Don't worry about it, Ryoga-kun! I'm your friend." 

                Fair enough.  "What do you think of P-chan?" 

                "Why do you ask?" 

                "N-n-n-no reason, Akane-san, but I want to know." 

                "He's the nicest pet I've ever had, and I love the way he squeals when he's happy. And besides, unlike most pigs, he likes being neat and clean."

                Also good. Now the clincher.

I take a deep breath, and dive in. "A…..A…..Akane……….san, what if I said that I was one of the cursed ones, like Ranma and Shampoo?" 

                "What are you getting at, Ryoga-kun?"

                "And……….that I………..that I……………..also turn into something else?" 

                She smiles.  "I would say, you would be one more cursed one to worry about, but it won't make much difference to me." 

                I almost jump out of my seat in joy.  She would not mind if I were a pig!

                "Ryoga-kun! The table!" she reminds me.  I sheepishly stop it from tilting and take my seat again.   

                We finish our meal. Shampoo has been vigilant with her guard of the sources of cold water. I thank her profusely, then we make our way out the ramen shop.  Everything is coming along perfectly, I can ask for nothing more. Even the sky is working in my favor; there is no chance of rain today!

                There is only one thing left for me to do. 

                We walk back to the Tendo dojo, with her leading. I try to piece together as much of my original speech as I can remember. As we reach the intersection, I make the beautiful lady face me. "Akane-san, I have been waiting for a long time to say this………."

                As expected, she tries to back away. "Don't………don't do this, Ryoga-kun……"

                "I am not forcing you to do anything, but just listen to me, Akane-san," I continue.  "From the time I met you………I………..I………."

                But before I could continue, in the corner of my eye I see a car swerving terribly left and right……..and heading toward us!

                I do not think, I act.

I pick her up bodily – she is very light, to me, at least – and I jump out of the way for both of us. We fall with a roll a few meters away, and two seconds later the car hits the spot where we just stood.  I heave a huge sigh of relief. More for Akane-san than for me.

It takes a little longer before I realize that my arms are wound around her, and the body contours I have become familiar with are next to mine. And I am still human. I do not know what to think and what to feel. Five seconds is five eternities.

I can feel her heart beat wildly, just coming from the fright of our near accident. I don't expect those rapid heartbeats to be for me, but the fact that I can feel them still, and that I made sure she is still alive another day, is enough for me.  That is what makes MY heart beat faster than it has ever beat before. 

I look at her face. She is pale and panting from the shock. She is looking back at me with utmost surprise. 

Suddenly tears well up in her eyes………..and she hugs me back. "Ryoga-kun……..Ryoga-kun………we could have……..we could have…………."

"You're alright now, Akane-san," is all I can say, as I return her embrace. "You're alright."  She continues to cry on my shoulder, and I am just grateful to be alive and beside her. 

Such joy could not last long. 

The car swerves past us, and finally ends up in the corner opposite ours…………and hits a fire hydrant.  The fire hydrant explodes, and, just my luck, it sends out a powerful upward spray of fresh cold water.  The water falls like rain to where we are sitting on the sidewalk. 

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

                One part of me already wanted her to see me change into her beloved pet, but a huge part of me got frightened.  I never give her a chance to see. I quickly wriggle myself free. My pride and my cowardice get the best of me, and I run on all four furry little legs back to the ramen shop. 

                Tears flow down my round eyes. Why in the world couldn't I tell her? Why?! She can accept Ranma for what he is, can't she? She likes me as her friend, she also likes me as her pet. She will readily accept me! So why can't I tell her? 

                Shampoo asks no questions, but readily pours out the hot water for me when I arrive. I give her a short rundown of what happened.  "Shampoo is sorry," she says quietly, and allows me to break a table into splinters, in my annoyance at myself.  "I am ashamed of the curse, too. I sometimes hate Ranma-airen for it, too. I know what you feel."

                "Thanks," I tell her, and drag myself back to the Tendo dojo.  

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

                I apologize profusely to Akane-san when I arrive. I apologize for leaving her so suddenly. I apologize to myself for not having the guts to let her know the other side of me.

                "I will never be worthy of you, Akane-san," I sulk beside her on the porch. 

                "Nonsense, Ryoga-kun," she replies. "I like you the way you are. I'll even like you, whatever you turn into." 

                "Are you………serious, Akane-san?" I ask with disbelief. 

                She nods. 

                But as I look at the fishpond in the garden, and at myself, yellow tunic and orange boots……….I decide that I want to be loved………as me. 

                I take up her hands. 

                "Someday, someday, Akane-san, I will let you know. I……..I………just can't………..right now." 

                She smiles at me, that nice, simple but elegant smile of hers.  "I'll wait." 

                And that is enough for me. 

……………………

I take Ryoga's side when Ranma is fighting him over Akane. He's a nice guy, all told, and he has good intentions.  ^^   Doesn't mean I'll wrench Ranma away from Akane, but all the same I feel sorry for poor Ryoga-kun.  Hope you liked this.   Thank you for reading!