"Wheeeeeee"
"Gir"
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
Gii-iir"
"Wheeee-heee"
"GIR"
"Yes, my master"
Zim ripped the vibrant little robotic fiend off his head, tossing him away and rubbing his head gingerly. No matter how much the little junk heap wanted to, he just couldn't use his head as a drum. It wasn't ethical. The little monster of steel was standing in front of the small Irken, hand raised in a salute, eyes an obedient red.
"Just... go make some waffles. I am feeling the unpleasant feeling of hunger in my squeedely-splotch."
Gir squealed in delight and ran off, up into the house unit to the kitchen, where he presumed to tear apart the kitchen in hopes of finding waffle ingredients. Zim sighed and turned back to the computer, analyzing analogies of the human structure, in hopes of finding a way to become more human-like on the outside. He had been stuck on this filthy planet for three years, and many earth monkeys were beginning to become suspicious. Dib was still on his tail every second of the way through his life, and it was becoming tiring. How he wished to just pluck out Dib's eyes and brain and be done with it. But alas, that would require a lot of more hiding, and eyes would be watching poor ZIM, and earth would never be his. Ah, well. Best just find a way to lookmore humane, and find little ways to play vendetta with Dib. The Irken sighed and moved through numerous porn sites, unfortunately finding a few too many female earth bodies, when he need a male. They were all grossly disfigured aswell.
"Disgusting..." Zim hissed, spending two hours more searching the human internet coming up with pornography before finally settling on a scientific research site.
XXXXxxxxXXXX
Gir eventually decided that he had everything you need to make waffles. Piled up on the kitchen table was a list of things: Eggs, cheese, flour, corn, dishwasher detergent, salami, blueberries, sugar, cornmeal, corn flakes, lucky charms, cream cheese, raspberries, walnuts, pistachio ice cream, bananas, a pummelo, toilet bowl cleaner, black olives, French bread, soap, bacon, moldy mozzarella, and one cherry.
Gir sang a little song as he placed everything in a large bowl, the cherry falling to the floor as he scooped everything up. It took a while, but after stirring and stirring and singing and singing "Doo, doo doo-doo," for the longest time," a great mass of what looked like what used to be a frog, but was run over by an SUV, scraped off the pavement, put in a fryer, set out to dry, then put in a pestle to be ground into a fine powder, in which curdled milk was added, then set in the sun for five days. But Gir ran a synthetic tongue over synthetic lips anyways, licking the spoon, shorting out his synthetic taste buds.
"Yummy! Piggy, try some of Gir's waffles!" The pig, who barely ever moved in the first place, did not move, blinking lazily and ignoring the crazed robot and it's curdled waffle batter.
"Aww, come on!" cried Gir, shoving the spoon under the pig's nose, thus causing its eyes to roll up into its head and fall into a coma, perhaps never to wake up after smelling that awful smell. Gir sighed empathetically and the spoon fell from his hand. The disappointed sigh changed to a happy little "whee" as Gir dived after it, rolling on the floor and giggling to himself as he chased after the problematic spoon. He had been down there for what seemed like minutes, when he squealed again, jumping to his feet. The lone cherry was in his hand.
"I almost forgot the cherry, piggy," he sang,. And with a dramatic flourish of the cherry-wielding hand he dropped the small fruit in.
For a moment it simple sat on the top of the thick gloop, but then it sank, melting away, the batter hissing and spitting as it accepted the final ingredient. For a moment it seemed as if it had taken it well, and could very well be used in a waffle iron to produce patterned bread, but then the most strangest of things happened. And for Gir, who had happened to see a lot of strange things, "ooed" and "ahhed", watching as the waffle batter glowed a violent green.
"So pretty," he cooed.
(A/N: Actually, I had to shorten this chapter. If I want this to be a decent length story, I'll need chapters that end up a little less than 100o somethin' words.)