The Political Engagement
Episode 1
Created by: The Writer
Spoilers: I'm not sure, but it's Pre Two Cathedrals.
Aires: Fridays 9:00 PM Central Standard Time (NOT literally, but we can pretend.)
Rating: PG TV
Starring: Joshua Lyman, Donnatella Moss, and other West Wing Characters
Author's Note: Of course, this isn't a real show and it won't actually be on TV. EW, CSPAN, and the West Wing characters do not belong to me. Please restrain yourselves from suing. Thank you. ~READ AND REVIEW~
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EW raves—"This new reality show is a must see, even for the most wary TV viewer…an intriguing blend of your generic dating show and CSPAN…gives the watcher a feeling that he or she personally knows people from inside the White House. We give it two thumbs up!"
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On TV
It was nighttime and a cool breeze rustled the lawn. The camera zoomed in on the White House and then a voice from off-screen began to speak, "Greetings and welcome to the first episode of The Political Engagement. Don't even bother changing the television station for the next hour, because you won't find anything more interesting than this."
The voice was that of a male, with deep, rich tones; he continued, "The Political Engagement is a breakthrough show that lets you get a close look into the private lives of the people who spend their days in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and their nights out on the town…"
In the White House
Leo sat in the Viewing Room with many other members of the West Wing staff. Around mouthfuls of popcorn he laughed, "Where do they get this stuff, 'their nights out on the town'? I'm lucky if I get out of here before midnight!"
C.J., who was reclined on a couch, stretched her long legs and asked, "Okay. Does anyone know who was roped into going on this inconceivably pointless show?"
"It's not inconceivably pointless for people who don't have to work here," exclaimed Sam, walking into the room and closing the door.
C.J. turned on him; "Do you hear yourself, Sam? Come on! All these reality shows are just so people can get their fifteen minutes of fame! Who even has time to sit around and watch these things?"
"Tonight, we do," said Charlie, earning a glare from the Press Secretary. "I can confirm that the President is not on this show, but he thought the idea was intriguing. In fact, he wanted me to tape it so he can watch it once he gets back from Indiana."
Toby turned around in his seat. He asked slowly, "Sam…are you wearing makeup?"
The Deputy Communication's Director gingerly touched his face. He feigned stupidity; "Well…will you look at that."
C.J. rolled her eyes. "Sam! Don't tell me you were suckered into being set up on a blind date—
Ainsley jumped up, a Hershey's Kiss still in her hand, "What a minute…you are—
"No! No!" He held his hands up in the air. "I'm not the one getting set up! Jeez." Sam sat down on one of the loveseats and picked up a bag of pretzels. "The producers of the show sent us a fax a few days ago asking for a volunteer matchmaker. So…"
"You set two of us up?" Ainsley squealed, sitting down next to him. She grabbed his tie. "Tell me! Who did you set up?"
Sam pulled at his collar as everyone in the room turned to look at him. "Well…I'm not supposed to say…but it's nobody here."
The room began to buzz as everyone tried to figure out who they were going to see go humiliate themselves on TV. Leo took charge. He stood up, whipped out a legal pad and pen, and yelled, "Okay, people. Everyone quiet down! Now, in an orderly fashion I want everyone to call out his or her name, so we can figure out who's left. Let's start with you, Margaret…"
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On TV
The male voice explained, "Now, this is not your usual blind date. Tonight the (soon to be) couple think they are just going to a normal political engagement. One doesn't even know that the other will be at the same restaurant.
"But before you get to see them, we have a pre-recorded message from Deputy Communication's Director Samuel Seaborn. When we inquired members of the White House staff, looking for a matchmaker, Mr. Seaborn was kind enough to speak up. He explained to us that he had two co-workers in mind that would be perfect for The Political Engagement. Now, here's the matchmaker…"
A frantic flurry of buttons being pushed inside a local TV station resulted in the picture of Sam appearing on millions of sets across the U.S. His voice echoed through their speakers.
"Hello. As you all know, I am Sam Seaborn…Deputy Communication's Director." He shifted his feet. "I guess I'm here to talk about the people I'm setting up. Well, one I've known for about two years and the other has been a good friend since college…"
Sam jammed his hands into his pockets. He was standing outside, in front of the iron fence that surrounded the White House. It must have been around noon when Sam was filmed, because the sun bore straight down on him, causing him to squint at the screen.
The wind gently ruffled his hair as he continued, "Joshua Lyman is Deputy Chief of Staff and Donnatella Moss is his assistant. She has helped him through more than she needed to and put up with more crap than… Well, anyway, tonight you'll get to see them in action.
"Josh, Donna, if you see this, please don't kill me… It's for your own good—everyone can see how much you guys care about each other except you. Don't worry about the press seeing this; C.J. will take care of them. So just have fun."
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Inside the White House
"Hell right I will." C.J. gave her best Cheshire cat grin at the screen.
"Could…you…help…me?" Sam begged Ainsley. Toby had him in a headlock and Leo was pacing the floor.
"It's your own grave, Sam," said Ainsley, shaking her head. She flipped her hair and left the room.
Leo muttered, "Sagittarius, Sam, Sagittarius."
This is not the time to be playing political games. What if they say something—by accident, of course—then what?"
Sam gasped, "I-I—
"Tell me you had the sense to work with the show's writers, Sam," growled Toby.
"It's a reality show… I thought they deserved—
"It doesn't matter what you think they deserve, Sam," explained Leo. "We need to do what is best for the administration. You of all people should have thought of that… Hopefully Josh can just keep a level head…"
"Around a woman?" asked Sam. "He's always trying to melt 'em!"
"He never melted me," scoffed C.J.
"'Cause he's scared of you."
"We all are," said Toby.
"Humph."
"That's enough," Leo exclaimed firmly. "Now let's just hope this show turns out to be fairly uneventful…"
"Uneventful? With Josh on it?" laughed C.J.
"At least Donna will be there to keep him in line."
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Le Restaurant Silencieux De Rose
Josh Lyman paced the lobby of a fancy French restaurant. Every few minutes he would stop and look out through the etched glass door. His hairy was in disarray and his suit jacket was unbuttoned, so it flapped every time he moved. His tie, however, was in a Windsor knot that he pulled at every time he looked out the door and failed to see what he was looking for.
He was making his one hundred fifty-first (he'd been counting) turn by a maroon-colored armchair when he saw a flick of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. Josh reeled at the same moment she did. He and Donna gaped at each other for a second, then they both spoke at once:
"Donna?"
"Josh?"
"What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"
"There was a message on my voicemail saying that I was supposed to meet Senator Marino here." Josh paused to check his watch. "But he's late."
Donna adjusted her purse on her shoulder and smiled. She was dressed in jeans and a peach-colored, short sleeved shirt. "Maybe it's just you watch."
"I wish that was it." Josh sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "But according to that grandfather clock in the corner, which was probably set by Big Ben, he is still late…"
"Big Ben is in London, Josh, not France. Did you know that the name 'Big Ben' doesn't actually refer to the clock tower, but the thirteen-ton bell inside?"
"Um…yeah, I knew that." The Deputy Chief of Staff turned to continue pacing. "Why are you here? Dressed like that?"
Donna blinked in surprise and looked down at her clothes. "What?"
Josh gestured at the carved furniture and tables covered in white cloths. "Look at this place! And you're dressed like you're going to the mall."
Her blue eyes twinkled. "Well, Josh, I might be shopping if I was paid a little bit—
"Donna," he wined.
She folded her arms. "Fine. If you really must know why I'm here… There was a note on my desk inviting me to go get drinks."
"From who?" Josh asked, giving Donna his full attention for the first time.
"I don't know. I thought it was C.J. or Sam…"
"So the fact that you were supposed to go to a French restaurant for a beer didn't strike you as odd?" Josh asked incredulously.
Donna hesitated. "Well…"
"They don't even have a bar!" Josh exploded, causing a few lace-adorned elderly women to tisk. "They keep all the liquor in the back!"
Donna tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "The fact that Senator Marino's assistant knew the number to your voicemail didn't strike you as odd?"
Josh rubbed his temples. "No…at the time it didn't seem that strange—
His assistant interjected, "You know something that is strange, Josh?" She followed him as he paced, checking the clock—again.
"No, what?" he asked, his mind preoccupied with worrying that he was at the wrong place.
"There's a TV crew outside," Donna explained.
"What?" Josh stared at her mouth, willing it to not repeat what he thought he heard.
"Like I said, a TV—
Josh grabbed his assistant's arm and dragged her to the door. They both gazed straight through the glass and into the lens of a camera. "Shit."
They jumped back as the door flew open. A cameraman stood in the open doorway. Josh yelled, "What is this?"
He squinted in the light of the camera as another man stepped forward, reading from a script; "Ms. Moss and Mr. Lyman, welcome. This is the first episode of The Political Engagement—
Donna knitted her eyebrows together. "What are you talking about?"
The man continued speaking; "—and you are now on TV…live. This show gives your average American viewer a chance to see government workers in a private setting. "
"We're what? Live now?" Josh exploded, "This is invasion of privacy! You TV people can't expect us, as members of the White House staff, to go along with being cornered out in public…just so you viewers can 'feel closer to us'—
"Josh." Donna tugged gently on his arm.
The Deputy Chief of Staff was on a role. He shook his fist at the camera. "You can't do that!"
"Josh."
"I'm supposed to meet Senator Marino here and—
"Josh!" she yelled.
"What?" he yelled back.
"I don't think Senator Marino is coming here."
"What?" Josh repeated in confusion.
"I think it was a setup to get us both here," Donna explained calmly.
"You what? Why?"
"Because I saw a commercial for this show—
He cut her off, "Where?"
"On TV—
Josh shook his head, trying to comprehend what he was being told. "You watched…"
"An ad on TV—yes. Once in a great while I do have a chance to relax. You should try it some time, Joshua. This isn't a documentary show, it's…"
"What?" he demanded.
Donna wrung her hands. "A dating show."
The cameraman quietly focused on the pair as the commentator clutched his script. He took advantage of the momentary silence as Josh gaped at Donna's explanation. "We're now going to a commercial break, so we can talk to Ms. Moss and Mr. Lyman. Never fear; you'll get to spend the rest of an eventful night with this couple. We'll be right back."
The cameraman faded the shot out. "We're clear for five."
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To be continued…
Thanks for reading this part. Please respond and keep an eye out for future installments!
Author's Note: (I know this is quite a silly idea and not my best writing, but that's what fan fiction is for, right? This is just written for fun, so I hope you find it humorous. I try to still keep the characters' idiosyncrasies fairly realistic!)