A/N: This is a crackfic I wrote with my best friend Kit while we were at our fair's demolition derby. We immediately thought of RENT for no apparent reason and got out her notebook and started writing. Our friend Austin came to sit by us and added a few comments as well (the ones about skin were all his, HA!)

There will be more chapters but not today or tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Or not. It really depends how lazy I'm feeling. I'm going over to her house tomorrow night so we might work on it then...Possibly.

"Collins! I shall crush thee with my moo truck!"

"Bring. It. ON!"

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~2 weeks earlier~

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"So, for the sake of business, I'm sponsering a demolition derby in Illinois, two weeks from now," Benny told Mark over a beer one night in the loft. Mark nodded and smiled.

"So, you can expect to see us there, Benny. All of us! Just give us the place and time!" Mark said excitedly.

"Mark, I was just expecting RENT early...if at all! I wasn't inviting you! I don't want any of you there!"

"Well, we're coming either way."

"Oh my cow! I want to enter!!!" Maureen shouted from the couch that she was leaning off of to see the two at the table...before falling off.

"You know, Maureen, eavesdropping is a bad habit," Benny said scowling.

"So is being yuppie scum!" Shouted Collins from the other side of the couch.

"Shut it, Collins," Benny hissed in his direction. Collins rolled his eyes. "You are not coming, entering, anything! This is a big business opportunity and you are not ruining it for me!"

"We'll change our names for your sake!" Angel offered from the floor next to the couch.

"I call Himlikabob," Roger piped in from his bedroom before coming out and resting his guitar on a chair.

"I thought you should be Emo AIDS Boy," Maureen offered...from her position on the floor still.

"Nah, maybe Josojimbobbiboy would be better," Mark said with a grin.

"Would you knock it off?!" Benny yelled.

"Honey, you're more of a Summer Day Breeze hippie," Angel told Collins while giving him "the look."

"Maureen?"

"Yes, Collins, dear?"

"Why would you of all people want to enter a demolition derby? You're a wimp!"

"Am not, you nimrod!"

"You know what?" Collins said with a cock of his head and a menacing look on his face. "I'm gonna enter too."

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Benny in panic.

"And I'm gonna crush your ass!" Collins finishes.

Benny whimpers.

"Bring it, bitch!" Maureen laughs evilly. (Mwahahahahaha!)

Then, Angel interjected, "Calm down, everyone. This much yelling is bad for your skin!"

"Who cares about our skin? We are at war. War to find out who will enter the demolitian derby!" Maureen says heroically. "How should we decide, Collins? The usual?"

"The usual." Collins agreed.

The stared each other down before reciting, very loudly may I add, "ROCK, PAPER, SCISS-"

"Guys!" The two imbuciles playing rock, paper, scissors stopped abruptly and looked over to Mimi who had been quiet until then. "Why don't you both enter?"

Maureen and Collins look at each other evilly, smile, say, "YES!" and high-five.

"Where are you gonna get cars or trucks, huh?" Benny asked them smugly, sure that he had stumped them. Collins and Maureed looked at each other and silently discussed with that freaky talking with out talking thing they have going together in their minds before grinning simultaneously.

"Hey, Benny..." Maureen asks sweetly without unlocking eyes with Collins. "How many trucks do you have?"

"Two, why?" Asked a clueless Benny (such a blonde...= D). maureen and Collins smile evilly once again before jumping up at the same time and running out the door.

"Where are they going?" Asked a clueless Benny.

"Probably getting ice cream!" Angel said. "You know how short their attention spans are," she tried to say without laughing.

"Oh," said a happy Benny with a wide smile. "That makes sense!" Everyone looks at each other trying to contain their laughter. Benny exits the loft and everyone is silent except for a snort from a red faced Roger.