SCARS - A FINCHEL FANFIC.
He was depressed. Again. Every time the two crossed paths, he would force a smile, but his brown eyes gave him away. His brown eyes opened her eyes to the fact that he wasn't really happy. That smile was merely fake. A forced smile for the sake of making sure she didn't worry about him. What he didn't realize was that, the feigned smiles just made her more worrisome. They made her wonder if he would ever get better. If he would ever move past events that had taken place nearly two months prier. It was almost as though Quinn Fabray and Noah Puckerman had permanently scarred him. Permanently made him a bitter, depressed, empty shell of the guy he used to be. A guy who always smiled. That guy was gone. In his place was a stranger. Rachel Berry didn't know who Finn Hudson was anymore.
"You'd think he'd be happy to be free of the clutches that are Quinn Fabray."
"I know. It's like, it's been nearly two months. Time to move on already. Right?"
"I think he actually wanted that baby. I don't think he cares about Quinn."
"Of course he cares about Quinn. They were in love, dumb ass."
"Uh, they couldn't have been that much in love if she went behind his back and had sex with Puck."
"Every girl has had sex with Puck."
"Uhm, you haven't, and besides, Puck shouldn't have done that to his supposed best friend."
"Puck has no morals."
"I don't think the guy knows what friendship means."
"It certainly doesn't mean sleep with your best friend's girl. That's for sure."
Rachel slammed her locker door shut much louder than was necessary, hearing the whispers of her fellow cast mates. This had been going on for nearly a month and a half, and it was all because Finn walked around looking as though someone had run over his puppy. If it weren't for the fact that she was still utterly in love with him, she was sure she'd find it almost pathetic.
No you wouldn't, her mind seemed to throw at her, and she knew there was no use in arguing with her own thoughts. They were right, after all. It was likely she would never find Finn's actions pathetic. They were understandable, in a way. He had been so excited for that baby(though, a tad apprehensive), and he had done everything he could to help Quinn with what was once thought to be his child. He'd given her his favorite blanket(he had told this story to her during one of their many late night phone conversations). He had even been working at a restaurant in a wheelchair to help pay off the doctor's bills. All for a child that he soon learned wasn't his, and it hurt her to think it was partly her fault Finn was so depressed. She told him the truth out of jealousy, and now that the truth was out, he was broken. The Finn Hudson she had fallen in love with was gone and had been replaced by a stranger.
"Hey, Rach." Said stranger now stood before her. Unlike before, he didn't sound happy when greeting her. He just sounded sad. It took everything in her to not walk away.
"Finn." That was how she greeted him nowadays. He didn't question it. He couldn't bring himself to care. There was no energy left for him to care.
"I was just, uh, wondering if you were still going to sing the solo during Glee so I won't have to." He'd asked her to do so a few nights ago. She had only agreed to get him off the phone. The sadness in his voice was always too much for her to bear.
"Of course, Finn. I promised. I don't break promises." He knew that. He knew that, unlike her, Rachel would never break her promises. She would always be honest with him. No matter the circumstances. She was the only one he could trust these days.
"I know." The words were monotonous. No feeling. Just... words. He smiled. It was forced, like always. And, just the same as always, she forced one back.
And just like the day before, and all the days before it for the past month and a half, the two went their separate ways, not bothering to waste words when neither knew what to say.
All Finn Hudson wanted to do as he walked away from Rachel and headed into Spanish Class, was hit his head off a wall. Or punch something. He could barely say two words to the brunette. It used to be that he couldn't go a night without talking to her on the phone. The late night conversations had always made him happier. Now, they just made him sad. Sad because, he knew he was hurting her. He was hurting her and he couldn't put a stop to it. He wanted to be happy again. For himself, and for his mother, but even more important than that, he wanted to be happy again for Rachel. So he could, once and for all, let her know how he truly feels about her. Let her know that, he's not angry with her. That he doesn't blame her for this.
He wanted to tell her all that, but he could never bring himself to do so. Every time he passed Quinn in the hallways, his eyes would linger to her ever-growing baby bump, and he'd once again be reminded of the day he had found out that he wasn't fathering his girlfriend's(ex-girlfriend's) child.
It wasn't even Quinn he missed(though, a small part of him did miss having the blonde in his life). It was the unborn child he missed. Quinn's unborn baby girl. The baby girl that everyone had once thought of as his. A baby girl he had been convinced was his. But, it wasn't his. It was Noah Puckerman's, his supposed best friend. He just couldn't bring himself to accept it. To accept that the child he had grown attached to wasn't his after all.
"All right, class. Open your workbooks to page fifty-five." Mr. Schue's voice dragged Finn out of his thoughts, but only for a moment. The minute he opened his workbook, he tuned Mr. Schue out, trying to forget the world around him.
"Did you try to live on your own when your burnt down the house and home? Did you stand too close to the fire, like a liar looking for forgiveness, from a stone?" Quinn Fabray sighed to herself, letting the words that were escaping Rachel's mouth sink in. What she wanted more than anything was forgiveness. Not just from Finn, but from everyone.
From her parents, from the Gleeks, and even from Puck. He was trying and all she had ever done was push him away. She was pushing him away, when really, what she needed the most was acceptance. And Puck accepted her. He accepted every flaw. Everything about her. And all she was doing was pushing him out of her life. She was afraid to let him get close. Not afraid that he would mess it up, but afraid that she, herself, would mess it up. Because that was what she did best. She messed up.
She let people down.
"When it's time live and let die, and you can't get another try. Something inside this heart has died. You're in ruins." Something inside of me has died, Finn thought as he watched, mesmerized with Rachel as he always was when he heard her melodic singing voice.
He couldn't help but think that Rachel was the only person who could ever possibly make him feel alive again.
"One, 21 guns. Lay down your arms, give up the fight." As she looked at Finn, she thought about how maybe she should just give up. Give up on him. On any hope that he would move past the past.
"One 21 guns. Throw up your arms, into the sky. You and I." But then she looked at him a second time, and thought that maybe, just maybe, those broken pieces of his heart could be put together again.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm not sure if I want to just keep this drabble or write another chapter. I'm going to attempt a second one and if I can figure out a direction to take this story, I'll most likely continue it.
Possible Pairings: (Only if the story continues.) Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman. Finn Hudson/Rachel Berry. Noah Puckerman/Rachel Berry friendship. Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry friendship. May grow into Finn Hudson/Quinn Fabray friendship and Finn Hudson/Noah Puckerman friendship.