Title: Luis speaks the truth
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm not earning any money with it.
Warnings: Luis Napoleon, Humor, (Tsubasa -bashing)
Pairings: none
Summary: Luis tells Tsubasa were the little babies really come from
A.N.: Just something I have wanted to write for a long time. And I SO can see this happening.
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Luis speaks the truth
Silent. The room was silent and everyone stared at Tsubasa who blinked confused.
Some of the football players of ‚The Golden Generation' were together in a training camp, which was sponsored by the FIFA. And somehow or other they had come to talk about sex -education in their different countries.
Tsubasa in his innocence or stupidity (depends on you) had said with passion „ The stork brings the babies".
And now everyone was silent, because no one knew how to handle the situation.
To Elle-Sid Pierre's horror, Luis Napoleon recovered first.
„ Tsubasa, my dear boy", said Luis way too friendly and patted the seat next to him, „ come here and let me tell you where the little babies really come from. "
All blood left Pierre's face. If Luis would explain Tsubasa where the babies really come from, Tsubasa really would know EVERYTHING (and Luis would probably give him some 'practical' lessons) about sex.
Without second thoughts, Tsubasa set down next to Luis.
Pierre would have loved to faint. Luis smile was waay to friendly.
„ Tsubasa", Luis paused for a few seconds and then continued", the stork doesn't exist. "
The alarm system in Pierre's head started to ring.
„ No? ", Tsubasa asked and looked a little bit sad.
„ No, he doesn't ", Luis shoke his head, „ I know it's hard, but the stork doesn't bring the babies. "
If Pierre would be able to move, he would have stopped Luis, but he couldn't.
„ Babies hatch from footballs. "
Pierre's chin hit the floor.
„ Hatch from footballs? ", Tsubasa looked questingly at him.
Luis put an arm around his shoulder.
„ Yes, from footballs. "
„ But how? "
„ To hatch the babies, you have to kick the ball really hard and often. "
„But I have kicked a ball…", began Tsubasa but Luis interrupted him.
„ Nothing happened because the FIFA sorts out the balls, which hold babies in them. See?", he hold a ball under Tsubasa nose (where he had gotten it form no one knew.)
„ See this marking here? ", Luis pointed to a little spot on the ball; „ these ball contains a baby. That's how the FIFA sort them out. "
Luis smiled at Tsubasa.
„ Here take it. " Luis pushed the ball to Tsubasa.
„ You sure? "
„ Yes. Take it. What should I do with a baby? I meant to give someone a fright with this, but I know you will be a good father. So take it. ", Luis was still smiling at him.
Tsubasa looked unsure at the ball, than at Luis and then he looked at the other.
Pierre looked like he was about to faint at any moment. Genzo and Karl had their faces in their hands and were shaking their heads, Fredericks and Larson had their faces pressed into pillows and were shaking, and Schester and Margus seemed to have caught a cold, because they were coughing.
„ Thank you very much", Tsubasa smiled at Luis and took the ball.
Whistling he left the room.
The WHAAAAT???? From the trainers could be heard three miles away, when Tsubasa told them, that he was going to make a little baby now.
Schneider looked disapprovingly at Napoleon, Larson, Fredricks, Margus and Schester, who were laughing so hard that tears were flowing down their cheeks.
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The end