Perhaps now, this can be home.
I press the secret stone in the wall and stagger onto the palace grounds. My grace and stealth have greatly declined, due to the loss of my sanity. I will have my revenge. Four years. Four long years in that hell, I have endured! My time will come.
Escaping had been easy enough. The imbeciles that were burdened with the responsibility of watching, actually thought I was tame. HA! How dare anyone think they can tame the Fire Princess! Watch out brother, for it is you I am looking for. The Water Tribe wench will have her share of pain too. Zuko is to weak to wear the crown! It belongs to me!
Surprisingly, the garden is more beautiful than I remember. I trace a scarred finger over a petal of a fire lily. "Mother's favorite." I whisper. I straighten up. No mistakes. No miscalculations. A swift kill and I will rot in prison for the rest of my life with Father. Mother was never there. Then why does touching her favorite flower bring scorching tears to my eyes?
I wipe at them angrily. I crouch among the bountiful flowers. I don't remember ever seeing so many colors at the same time. Maybe my scrambled brain is just in shock from being outside of four metal walls. Everything is so open! I could get lost and stay here forever. But no, I have a mission.
I stagger around the garden further. I freeze at every sound. The sun has yet to set and I feel vulnerable. Now I freeze to the sound of soft laughter. It was from a child. The laughter made my heart ache and swell. "Shh." Went a female voice. I peek over the bushes I am hiding behind.
Sitting on the edge of the turtle duck was the Water Tribe girl, clad royal robes and the Fire Ladies crown. Figures he would marry an exotic. I think. A small brown child sits beside her, running his hand over the surface of the water, causing it to ripple. He looked exactly like a young version of his uncle.
"Be careful Kupa." Katara said gently. Soft lines dance across her face. I look at her arms, and for the first time I notice there is a bundle in them. The bundle began to cry. I am puzzled for a second, until Katara unwraps the bundle, reveling a child.
The baby had skin of the softest ivory. Its hair was as black as the raven's. Katara turned the child around and I saw the bright golden eyes, surrounded by thousands of black lashes. She looks so much like me! My mind practically screams.
The Water Tribe woman cradles her child in the crook of her arm. "Shh Lily. It is such a beautiful day, no need for tears." She wipes stray tears from the child's eyes. She then begins to sing:
"Leaves on the vines,
Falling so slow,
Like little, tiny shells,
Drifting in foam.
Little soldier boy,
comes marching home.
Brave soldier boy,
comes marching home."
My heart clenches as I hear the familiar lyrics of Uncle Iroh's song. How is this woman able to care for a child that looks so much like me? I think, baffled. Then another chilling thought penetrates my mind. What if the child grows up to be a monster too?
But as I watch my enemy cuddle and coo her child, the thought dissolves. Katara would never raise a monster. She would be the perfect mother. The mother I never had. I am appalled by the streams of wet tears pouring down my face. I pull at all of the strings inside me, trying to pull myself together. I double over on the ground, consumed by sadness.
I am deaf to everything except my wracking sobs. I am numb to everything except the sadness that suffocates me. I feel like I am floating, but just as I begin to enjoy the feeling, I am slammed back into reality. Someone had lifted me off of the ground, standing me up on shaky legs.
I have a hard time focusing on the person's face, through my tears and the black spots that dance across my vision, but when my vision does clear, I cannot even call forth a ball of flame to protect myself with. It was Zuko, but was not the same Zuko I remember.
He is so beautiful! Even with the massive scar, marring his otherwise perfect face. He looks powerful, not like the sniveling child I once knew. The Fire Lord's head piece is standing proudly in his raven topknot, with almost tangible pride. He looked ten times the king Ozai ever was.
His face is drawn into hard lines and his eyes are amber stones. Now is my time to strike. I could kill him so easily. Just one swift strike, and it will all be over. I lift my hand to take my strike, but his gaze never wavers from mine. His stone expression never changes.
My hand continues to reach, but the blue flame I picture never reaches my fingertips. My fingers move on their own accord. I place my scarred fingers on his scarred cheek. His eyes flicker violently, and I tense, preparing to receive what ever my brother throws at me.
Then, so slowly I think the world has slowed, he closes his eyes. I can feel his pulse, hammering underneath my finger tips. The rhythm of it was soothing. His skin was hot, scorching even, but heat never bothered me. His eyes dart behind his closed lids. The fact that he has closed his eyes, rendering him vulnerable, surprises me.
Silent tears drip down my cheeks. For the first time, I see him clearly. I see him as my brother, not as my rival. I see him as the fire bending Master he really is. I see him as the Fire Lord, and I realize I was never meant to wear the crown.
My desires for revenge fade into nothing. I am tired of this burning hatred that has left me scarred inside and out. I move my hand to cup my brother's scarred cheek. His eyes dart wildly behind their closed lids, but he keeps them screwed shut.
"Zuzu." I whisper hoarsely. He opens his amber eyes to look at me questioningly. His skin keeps twitching under my fingers, expecting them to turn hard and cruel. "Brother." I whisper, sadness choking me. A river of silent tears flow freely now.
"Yes Azula." He sounds so regal! Oh how he has grown. "Brother, I-" Something flickers behind Zuko. The Water Tribe woman was now standing, cradling her baby protectively in her arms. Her toddler stood almost completely behind her, clutching her robes.
The softness had flood from her face. Now her blue eyes looked like pools of ice, instead of calm lakes. She would be unable to bend with the child in her arms, but she still looks intimidating. For a moment, I am thrust into the past, where I am completely incased by ice and water. I shudder.
Even as I sit in fear, the water bender does not move. My eyes dart between the Fire Lord and the Fire Lady. I feel trapped, but I can't move. I see Zuko's hand move and I flinch. He moves slowly, like he doesn't want to spook me. He covers the hand of mine that rests on his scarred cheek with his. My breathing hitches. A small, almost non-existent smile spreads across his face.
His other hand lifts just as slowly as the first, and wipes stray tears from my eyes. This only makes the wretched tears flow harder. Through the blur of tears, I see the water bender cross the garden, moving to stand beside her husband. She places a hand on his shoulder, in what is supposed to be a reassuring gesture, yet to me it looks likes she is trying to restrain him. Her eyes are still the cold fury of ice.
I look back at Zuko. "Zuko, forgive me, please forgive me." I beg. His eyes flicker with indecision. He takes my hand off of his cheek and looks at it. I have scars all over my arms and hands from the time I spent in that hell of an asylum.
Zuko looks at me, shocked. He traces a finger over the gruesome marks. I fight the urge to yank my hand away. "What the…?" he says in amazement mixed with disgust. "How did you get these?" The water bender asks. Her eyes have changed. They are now filled with horror. Her voice did not carry anger, only concern. I guess her healing nature had taken over her.
"There is only so much one can do to occupy themselves within steal walls." Katara meets my eyes steadily. She looks lost for words, and I can sense a battle raging within her. I shrug. "Azula?" She says. "Yes." I answer, squaring my shoulders, preparing for a tongue lashing.
She looks down at her child. "Would you like to hold your niece?" I am shocked. I have never held a child in my life! I look down at the child in her outstretched arms. I look at its parents cautiously. "Are you sure?" I ask. They nod their heads. "Okay." I say awkwardly.
Katara places the child in my arms. Her hands stay hovering above the baby. "Her name is Lily." She says softly. I nod stiffly. The child looks at me with bright golden eyes. She does not smile, but she looks up at me with wonder.
What a sight I must be, with my matted hair and dirty skin. As I look at the beautiful child, I realize I am holding pure innocence. This child is such a beautiful, untainted thing. The darkness inside of me hisses and struggles to be free, but for the first time, I restrain it.
Nothing will hurt this child, not even me. "She is-" My voice cracks. "She is beautiful." I say. The child smiles and I mirror her. "She looks just like you." Katara says with a smile. I just nod and continue to stare at the child.
"Azula?" My brother calls. I lift my head up. "Yes?" I answer. "Would you like to come in and wash up? And I'm sure you're starving." As soon as he says it, my stomach growls. I smile awkwardly. "Yes, I would like that." I say. The Fire Lord and the Fire Lady lead me inside the palace. Perhaps now, this can be home.