This is all your fault, Sirius thought.

"This is all your fault," he said aloud, to his ex best friend James.

"You know you didn't have to say that out loud," James pointed out.

"Agh, whatever!" Sirius exclaimed as they reached their destination, the common room.

"You need to take a shower, that potion smells terrible and if you don't try to get it off now it may very well stay that way."

"Potter, I don't need your advice now leave me be!" Bloody wanker thinks he can tell me what do!, Sirius thought stomping up the stairs to the boys dorm, Wouldn't be in this mess if he didn't get distracted by Evans all the time! How hard is it to stir clockwise five times!

"Oh, and don't think about how in love you are with a certain sixth year Perfect!" James hollered and dashed out of the common room for his own safety. Sirius turned to glare but it was too late, James was gone.

After a nice long shower, in which Sirius realized there were a few secrets he mustn't think about and yet couldn't stop thinking about, he felt ready to face the music. He strutted right in to the busy lunch hall, doing his usual mental commentary on people's looks, which got him mixed responses. One girl, displeased with the critique she received, threw a roll at his head, causing uproarious laughter from those who witnessed. Quickly realizing his mistake Sirius channeled his efforts into not thinking, which is nearly impossible. So instead he thought the most ridiculous things he could think of until he reached his friends.

"Hello, I'm back, you may cease your weeping," Sirius announced sitting down next to Remus after the mentally tiresome journey.

Remus snorted. "Oh yes we were crying buckets and buckets because we were having pleasant conversation." James rolled his eyes and Peter just shrugged.

Blows up potion on me and he doesn't even pretend to miss me, Sirius thought bitterly.

"Oh calm down you big girl!" James scoffed.

No, Sirius thought and smirked.

"When do you think it'll wear off?" Peter asked, munching on some bread.

"Well it wasn't the entire cauldron that fell on him so I'd say a day at most," Remus answered.

"No no no, it did not fall it exploded!" Sirius corrected, indignant.

"It was really more of a slight splatter," James countered.

"A slight splatter doesn't cover someone head to toe in disgusting smelling potions!"

"Well, you see that all just depends on your definition."

"Alright well my new definition for stupid is James Potter."

"My new definition for drama queen is Sirius Black!"

"Yeah, well my new definition for hugs is ripping your throat out, so do you want a hug?"

"I thought Moony was the only one who argued definitions here," Peter pointed out, just in time to save everyone from a shouting match.

Sirius pouted and started ranting to himself, Stupid Lily distracting people with her shiny red hair! What's the big deal about her anyway? James just needs to get his head out of the clouds because she obviously hates him and there is really no need to get distracted so much by one human being, honestly! Well that's only slightly hypocritical I suppose...

"You can't possibly go to classes like this can you?" Remus asked, cutting off Sirius's internal harangue just in time.

"Ha! You're right!" Sirius pronounced. I might thank James after - nope never mind no no no, Sirius reflected and then stopped himself from reflecting so James wouldn't get the satisfaction.

"You're welcome anyway," James murmured.

"I think by now the teachers know what happened, I'll let them know just in case," Remus promised right as people started gathering their things and leaving for class.

Internally Sirius swooned at his friends kindness, and said, "Thanks, unlike some 'friends' who spill botched potions on me, you have my back."

It was only as Sirius separated from his friends that he realize his mistake. Merlin I just swooned in front of Remus because he said he would help me, normal friends don't get so excited about stupid things like that! This is worse than I thought! This better wear off soon, Sirius huffed in his head, though it might as well have been out loud.

The truth of the matter was that Sirius had quite the infatuation with Remus, unbeknownst to Remus himself. In fact pondering it Sirius realized it was fortunate that all he did was swoon a little considering how much he obsessed over Remus on a daily basis. Breathing a sigh of relief he headed to the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius was not one for being alone, he realized while everyone else was in classes there were few times in his years at Hogwarts he actually found himself alone. This made it exceedingly difficult to stay entertained and not think about the impending doom this curse held for him. That is how he found himself behind one of the greenhouses counting ants with nothing better to do.

"I have to say I did not expect to find you here," Remus mused, breaking Sirius' count.

Quickly he turned to be faced with the picture that was Remus, a tall, thin frame, tawny hair that fell across his forehead, amber eyes, and scars stitched through creamy skin.

How beautiful, Sirius sighed before he, well, thought.

"What is?" Remus inquired, innocently.

Sirius looked taken aback for a second before he responded, "Oh just Hogwarts looks nice form here."

"Huh, never realized you appreciated the beauty of things. I suppose it would ruin your punk reputation if anyone ever knew you were such a romantic."

Oh, I appreciate beauty alright, Sirius thought darkly before he could stop himself, scanning Remus up and down again.

Remus gave him a curious look but otherwise ignored Sirius' thoughts, "I took notes for you, if you want them."

"What would I ever do without you, my knight in shining armor! I must do something to repay you for such a noble deed!" Sirius sighed dramatically.

"No thanks little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me," Remus retorted in an exaggerated baritone voice.

They both broke out into laughter as they headed shoulder to shoulder on the path back to the castle.

"How did you find me anyway?" Sirius asked after a moment of silence.

"The map."

"That makes sense... Hey are you hungry?"

"Not really but I can always eat chocolate, shall we head to the kitchens?"

"Delightful!"

There was another, usually comfortable, silence that followed.

This silence is killing me, I don't know what to think anymore or even what I usually think about, Sirius groaned inside his own head.

"Sorry, we can keep talking, I know little thought goes into what you say before it comes out anyway," Remus teased.

"I would be offended if it weren't completely accurate," Sirius relented smiling.

"Well I am always right."

"Except that one time which the sheep and the fire that turned everything teal."

"Well the book didn't mention that bit so how was I supposed to know."

"Still, you were wrong. You said it would be harmless fake fire so the sheep would be fine and then bam we have flaming sheep floating about coloring all the ceilings and walls teal."

"Next time I'll know to be more careful with flaming sheep."

"As you should be, honestly."

"Have you ever looked back on your life and thought this isn't something I ever thought would happen to me or seem so normal?"

"Yes, I regret nothing though. You know they're not wrong when they say James is our crazy ring leader, he thinks of the craziest things. He's a mad scientist, they think I'm the bad influence but he just brings it out."

"His plans are really something else... Do you think people gossip about us a lot?"

"Of course, I spread half the rumors."

"Like the one about James and Snape and their love triangle with the giant squid."

"Ha! I forgot about that, one of my finer works I must say."

"I can't believe people bought such total malarkey."

"I can they think of some crazy rumors themselves. Did you hear the one about you and Patterson dating? Ha, just total unsubstantiated rumors, right?"

"No he and I had a thing but he wasn't what I was looking for, had strong opinions on dark creatures that I couldn't agree with."

"Oh... I didn't realize you were, you know... Boys?"

"Yup, well I'm not picky either way."

"Oh that's neat." Oh sweet mother of Merlin hope! Sirius squealed to himself. Remus smiled all knowingly but said nothing.

"I'm sorry it ended that way, you know you should never listen to what those bigots say."

"Thank you for the pep talk Sirius."

"Anytime! Do you want me to hex him? I could do that or spill coffee on him?"

"No, please don't we're supposed to work on a charms project together and I need things to be fairly civil."

"Right..."

"So have any other problems with this mind reading business?"

"I haven't really spoken to anyone else, which is good. I did criticize Elena Brodricks hair style and she threw a roll at my head."

"I wondered what that was about."

"Vicious woman, can't take constructive criticism."

"Is there anything constructive about saying you're hair sucks?"

"Yes, it's a way to tell her to make it not suck."

"Oh but of course. Oh, look there's Peter try not to insult his ridiculous sweater."

"Remus, you have no right to talk to anyone about ridiculous sweaters," Peter huffed stopping in front of the two.

"What! Peter his sweaters are the proper mix of adorable and unusual, yours are just..." Sirius couldn't think of a word so he just shook his head with a disgusted face.

"Whatever," Peter brushed off knowing he already lost the argument, "What are you two lovebirds doing?"

Remus gave Peter a look that Sirius didn't quite understand. Peter just raised his eyebrows as if he was perplexed as to why Remus was making nonverbal accusations.

"Kitchens," Remus said shortly.

"Don't let me stop you two then," Peter reached up and patted their shoulders and winked.

"I don't understand him," Remus sighed shaking his head.

"Me neither," Sirius said much more brightly.

"So, you like my sweaters?" Remus asked nudging Sirius.

"Oh... Well... in a strictly platonic man to man sense like just aesthetically pleasing and you know I appreciate a good sweater now and again and I must protect you and your sweaters honor and all that, so yeah." Smooth Black, Sirius thought once his tirade was over.

"I thought so too, I especially like the bit where you're protecting my sweater's honor."

"Oh look aren't those stairs just so lovely, it would be a shame if I had to push you down them," Sirius threatened with no real malice.

"Calm down, I won't offend any more of your delicate sensibilities."

Internally Sirius growled and made all sorts of incoherent offended noises.

"You know I can hear all that," Remus finally said after minutes of Sirius' melodrama.

"Agh," Sirius squawked, affronted, "Why didn't you tell me!?"

"It was pretty funny and Alan Patterson walked by and have me a sympathetic smile so that was an added bonus."

"What's so special about him, I'm sure his smiles are lame," Sirius muttered sullenly.

"You hardly know him."

"No... But the name sounds pretentious. Really, I'm just looking after you."

"Me and my sweater's honor?"

"Ungrateful."

"Yes well as it happens I'm not that interested anymore so no need to get into a tizzy," Remus assured with a slight grin, he tried to cover.

The rest of the way to the kitchens they remained in constant conversation about nothing important. On numerous occasions Sirius had caught himself almost forming a thought about how nice Remus' hands were or how pretty his eyes looked shining in the sun.

Sweet Merlin I'm obsessed, Sirius realized as they stepped into the kitchen.

"I'm going to assume that was something after a mostly incoherent train of thought because last thing I was talking about was Professor McGonagall," Remus said, bemused.

"Oh no, you thought wrong. I am rather obsessed, and dare I say in love, with our lady Minerva," Sirius joked recovering from his almost slip. Not for the first time he wondered if it would be so wrong if Remus heard what he really thought.

"Thought about what?"

"Oh, um, food?" Sirius ventured.

Remus just gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head, "If there's anything you want to tell me Padfoot, feel free."

Before he could even stop himself, because honestly it's impossible to stop yourself from thinking, Sirius thought, Oh just that I'm in love with you and want to have your babies.

Remus broke out into a huge grin, "I think that second part is physically impossible but I appreciate the sentiment."

"Wha.." Sirius managed before realization dawned on him, "Oh... OH! That is not how I wanted that to come out."

"No pun intended."

"Shut up."

"Make me," Remus challenged, taking a step towards Sirius.

Sirius, deciding thought was pointless anyway, leaned up and pressed his lips to Remus' with no reservations. There was no worry of anyone hearing his thoughts because Sirius's mind drew a blank completely at the sensory overload. They pushed closer together as lips and tongues explored each other.

After a minute or two of this thoughtless escapade Remus realized they were in the middle of the kitchens and promptly broke the kiss. Sirius whimpered a little and Remus tried adamantly not to smile. Their heads were still close and they were breathing heavily when Remus broke the silence.

"I don't know if it's a good thing or bad things that I can hear your thoughts."

"Really!? You hear nothing? That's probably for the best..." Wouldn't want to horrify you with my dirty mind just yet.

"Nope never mind, I guess I can only hear complete thoughts," Remus amended giving a cheeky smile.

Sirius looked scandalized, but quickly decided to take revenge and recaptured Remus' lips with his own.

"Well isn't today just a cliched turn of events!" a voice called breaking up the two friends.

They looked over to see James grinning like a mad man.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with a good cliche every once in a while," Remus promised looking slightly disheveled, but deliriously happy.

"So you guys are a thing then, yeah?"

"Oh most certainly."

Sirius squealed inside, which made both his friends double over in laughter.

Some friends you are, he thought sulking.

"Awe, it's ok I can defend your honor now," Remus teased, putting an arm around Sirius.

"Well if you two are done scarring the kitchen staff for life I'd say we should shove off, I found this cool new secret passage."

Smiling like and idiot and forgetting why he was here in the fist place Sirius followed James out the kitchens next to Remus.

"You know I wouldn't mind a thank you for getting you two together."

"Shut up James," Remus and Sirius said in sync. They smiled at each other and leaned in for another kiss.

"No! Stop! PDA my beautiful eyes they burn!" James screeched.

As if they could read each other's mind they both turned the kiss into one of comedic grandeur, with extra wide mouths, tongues, and explicit noises.

"Oh that is just nasty!"

The End

AN/ Updated! I think it's better, more dialogue not as rushed, etc. Tank you for reading, it means a lot! Any criticisms are much appreciated! That quote 'no thanks little lady your tears of gratitude are enough for me' is from Angel, Spike said it in season one while mocking Angel. Anyway, thanks again for reading!