Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist
Winry's hands dropped to her sides as she finally realized that he really would never be back for her, neither of them would come back ever, knowing that they weren't dead had given her some hope over the first few days, but now it struck her hard, because not only were Ed and Al gone, but her granny was gone as well.
Somehow she'd always pictured Ed and Al to be there with her forever, but now that they weren't here at Granny's funeral it finally hurt her. If they didn't come back for this, they wouldn't be back at all.
When they'd first left she thought she knew that they'd never be back, that her childhood friends, and maybe even more with Ed, were gone, however that hadn't deterred her hope beyond hope that maybe she was wrong, maybe those instincts were wrong.
She slowly made her way back to her granny's, well her's now, shop, Den by her side, the only real companion left from her childhood.
She threw down her purse and slid on the couch, just sitting there for the longest time, looking around. The picture on the wall caught her eyes. Her parents carrying her as a baby, both of them dead in the war. Ed and Al's parents holding their kids: their mother died soon after her own parents, she didn't know where Hohenheim was, and Ed and Al were in that other world now. Then there was the picture of Granny and Den, Granny was gone, just a day ago.
She buried her head in her hands, but didn't cry, the tears just wouldn't come, odd considering she'd been such a crybaby, as Ed had kept reminding her.
What am I supposed to do now? She thought. She knew there really was nothing, except sit there. People would probably be frightened, think she was jinxed, or they would think she needed time to herself for awhile, and wouldn't stop in for repairs. There'd be nothing for her to do, nothing to keep her busy, her mind off her losses.
The only thing she's think to do would be to pretend to be happy, that would do something to keep her losses at bay.
Winry went out the next day, keeping every emotion in check, making sure her appearance was perfect, nobody would ever suspect she'd lost her entire family.
Everybody was kind to her that day, the only grocers didn't make her pay. She got free milk from the dairy farmers. When she went to the movies that night she got in for free. People paid attention to whatever she said, they all asked if she was okay, if there was anything they could do to help her.
She smiled at them and told them she was fine, insisted on paying for her livelihood and entertainment like everyone she knew, although they still didn't accept her money.
It went on like this for several weeks, until Scieszka stopped by for yet another visit. She had brought two boys with her, the Tringum brothers, she knew.
Russell was such a hot head and it was always up to Fletcher to calm him down and apologize for his elder brother's actions.
It was after one such incident, Russell had lost a game of ping-pong to the girl up the street. He'd demanded a rematch and got mad when the poor girl refused, and was quite rude to her. Fletcher apologized to the girl as Russell went into a different room to sulk.
The scene had reminded Winry so much of how Ed and Al behaved that she almost broke down there. She quietly excused herself and made her way outside before bursting into tears.
Everyone stayed inside as she cried, whether they knew she was crying or not, she didn't know, but she was grateful for at least that, hard to imagine anything to be grateful for, she thought to herself. She didn't try to stop the tears and go back inside.
Scieszka and Fletcher both came out after awhile.
"Hey," Scieszka said softly, "how are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine," Winry said, "I was just about to come back inside," She wiped her eyes.
"Maybe we should leave now," Fletcher suggested, looking between the two women.
"No, I'm doing fine, really," Winry said, "this is the first time I've cried since Granny's funeral, I'm doing really well."
"Hiding your emotions," Fletcher said, shaking his head, "that's never a good thing to do. You have every right to be upset, to cry if you want. You need to."
Winry smiled down at him, "I suppose you're right, I didn't want anyone to be concerned about me."
"Everyone's been concerned about you," Scieszka said, "we're so used to you letting your emotions show, when you stopped people grew even more concerned."
"I need to be alone," Winry told them, "I'll go in later."
Fletcher and Scieszka both accepter her words and went back in. Winry decided to go for a walk on her own, without Den.
She wandered how the Earth could be so cold to her. It took her family from her so that it could live and in turn she could live too, she knew and had to shudder at the thought, walking on the grinded bones of her ancestors, on the skin particles of everyone she knew and never giving a second thought about it until now.
Somehow these thoughts did not make her cheerful, they made her even more heartbroken than before, knowing you were merely destined to be walked on or eaten, and your friends and family too.
She tried her best to shake the thoughts from her head. Unsuccessful in her attempt, she thought of Ed and wandered if he had a girlfriend over there yet, or someone to care for him besides Al.
She somehow knew that he would move on, that she should too, no matter how hard it was for her it had to be done.
Once accepting that thought the world did seem a bit brighter, although she still felt the pang of loss every day of her life from than on, never able to forget her first love, childhood friend, Granny, and parents.