"My head…"

Minato slowly opened his eyes, his head throbbing violently. It felt like he had just had his face kicked in. Slowly sitting up, he looked around him with squinting eyes. As far as he could tell, he was still in the dorm.

"What happened last night..?" He looked down, inspecting himself. To his horror, he realized his pants were missing. "Why… Why are my pants gone?" He grabbed his head. "Ow, ow, headache…"

"Shut up, man…"

Minato looked over the edge of the couch he was on. It was Junpei, who was also holding his head. "Junpei..?"

"Dude, I told you to shut up… My head hurts so bad…"

Then a loud crashing sound made the both of them scream. It shot into their heads violently. It nearly made Minato puke from the pain. "What the hell was that?"

He looked over near the kitchen area where the sound came from. Flung over the counter was Akihiko, whose vest and shirt were a complete mess. He looked up at the other two. "Sorry, guys, I…" Minato and Junpei just stared at him in awe. "What?"

Junpei then began to die of laughter, making him have to hold his head more. "Dude, your face!"

Akihiko grabbed a nearby pan, checking his reflection. To his horror, he found a large nose ring in his nose. "What the fuck!" He held his head after yelling. "Meds… I need meds…"

Minato stood up, looking all over for his pants. "What happened last night?"

Junpei forced himself up, still laughing about Akihiko's new bling. "I don't remember all of it, but it must've been pretty freakin' sweet."

Akihiko proceeded to throw the pan at Junpei's head. "This isn't sweet! I have a piercing in my nose, dammit!"

Junpei just laughed. "Yes, yes you do." He smacked himself on the knee in a joking matter. To his horror, he felt instant pain. "What the hell?"

Junpei pulled his pants down so he could see his thigh where the pain was. Akihiko and Minato both seen what he seen, then died of laughter. "Junpei, is that a tattoo?" Minato held his ribs. Thankfully, his headache was gone.

"What… What does it say?" Akihiko walked over, holding Junpei still long enough to read it.

"What… What?" Due to the angle, Junpei couldn't read it. It was a good thing, too. The tattoo insinuated very… Unique and homoerotic things about him.

"Uh…" Akihiko just stood there, biting his lip. "You don't wanna know."

Junpei slunk down onto the couch, sighing. "I knew we shouldn't have drank that shit…"

Minato looked over at him. "Drank what..?"

"Damn dude, you really don't remember?" Akihiko sat down beside him. "Not a thing?"

Minato shook his head. Junpei smiled, preparing himself to tell the story. "Well, it started like this…"

EARLIER THAT NIGHT…

The three of them were in the lobby, just sitting around watching television. The girls had left for some trip and taken Koromaru (they didn't know and they didn't care) and Ken had been visiting a friend he met at school. The only other one in the dorm was Shinji.

"This sucks…" Akihiko slouched into the couch. "I mean, we can't even go to Tartarus because we don't have a full team."

"Yeah…" Minato sighed. "Even Koromaru is out of the dorm, even if it is just with the girls."

"Yup, he's one lucky dog." Junpei sighed. "I wonder what they're doing right now."

"Who cares?" Akihiko stretched. "I prefer not to think about it seeing as how only the guys were left behind."

After a few brief seconds of awkward silence, the door opened. Shinji walked in, holding groceries. "Don't worry, at least we won't be starving."

As Shinji began pulling out groceries, Junpei stopped him. "Whoa, is that liquor?"

"Yeah, I use it in all of my cooking." He pulled out a few more bottles. "When it's cooked, the alcohol is evaporated out, so it's harmless. I have a friend of mine hit me up with a few bottles a week. If he knew I was using it for cooking, though, he'd probably-"

Junpei cut his last scentence short, snatching the last bottle from his hand. "Well then, why don't we drink?" He smiled as he popped the top off, taking a swig.

"Junpei, I'm going to hurt you if you don't give that back."

"C'mon, lighten up!" Junpei took another swig. "I mean, we're all alone for a weekend with no girls and no little kids and no nothing!"

"Junpei's right." Akihiko grabbed another bottle. "I could use a drink, too."

Junpei smiled in complete agreement. "What about you, Minato?"

"I only ever drank sake." Minato eyed the bottles closely. "That's all rum and cooking wine."

"It all works, man." He handed Minato a bottle of rum. "Just don't go overboard, okay?"

Minato shrugged. "Eh, what could it hurt, right?" Then he took a gulp of the rum…

PRESENT DAY

"Oh, shit…"

"Yeah, now he remembers." Junpei slapped him on the back. "It looks okay, though. I mean, nothing's broken and no one is broken." He grabbed an empty rum bottle, throwing it away. "We'll just throw it away and come up with a good cover story."

"Sounds good." Akihiko looked around for a second. "Hey, where's Shinji?"

They spent the next twenty minutes scouring the dorm for him. Minato had, thankfully, grabbed his pants during this time, which were for some reason stuck in the oven. That wasn't important now, though.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" Junpei was freaking. "Did he leave? Did he leave last night? I don't remember, I don't remember-"

Akihiko slapped him. "Calm down." He pulled out his cell. "Look, I'll just call him."

He did. As soon as it began ringing, they knew it wasn't on him. How? Because it was in Minato's jacket. "Why do I have his phone?"

Akihiko dropped his phone, now panicking. "Oh shit… We lost Shinji."

Akihiko and Junpei fell onto the couch, dumbstruck by the reality that had just hit them.

Minato, on the other hand, just held an empty bottle, sighing. "Why does the rum have to be gone…"

"Minato!"

"Oh, right. Shinji."