A/N: So this is something new. My bestest friend Mel has developed an obsession with CM Punk, and she wanted me to write her a songfic using her and Punk using the song "What You Mean To Me" by Sterling Knight. So, here it is. I hope all of you like it. Especially you, Melly. Love you. :)
What You Mean To Me
Can't blame you,
For thinking that you never really knew me at all.
I tried to deny you,
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong.
It was dark in the hotel room, but CM Punk didn't seem to notice. He sat hunched over on the bed, staring at the dim shape of the wall directly across from him. His green eyes glowed in the darkness, and his tattooed hands were balled into fists at his sides, as though he were about to hit something. He looked down at his fists and thought about it, considered driving them through the drywall or the mirror. Maybe the blood falling from his sliced hands would clear the haze that floated around him.
But deep down he knew that it wouldn't help. The only thing that could pull him back out of this ocean of tortured memories and fears was her, and she had left him.
He shifted a little, one of his legs sore from the match he had participated in earlier in the night. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He just wasn't used to receiving such genuine love from someone. He had gotten scared. He had a lot of problems, and he hadn't wanted to expose her to that. He thought he had been doing the right thing by driving her away.
I thought I was protecting you.
From everything that I go through.
But I know that we got lost along the way.
Punk sighed softly and checked his phone for the fiftieth time. She still hadn't texted him or called him or anything, and his heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach. He wanted so badly to tell her that he was sorry, but she clearly wanted nothing to do with him. Not that he blamed her. He had said some pretty cold things to her in order to make her leave. And now that she had, he wanted her back.
Here I am with all my heart.
I hope you understand.
I know I let you down.
But I'm never gonna make that mistake again.
You brought me closer to who I really am.
Come take my hand.
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
What you mean to me.
Giving in to the ache in his heart instead of his common sense, he dialed her cell number and raised his phone to his ear with a shaky hand. As it rang, he found himself praying for the first time in a long time.
The click on the other end of the line startled him, and then a voice that made his knees weak spoke.
"What do you want?" Mel Ryder said, and a sharp pang of shame ran through him once he heard the exhaustion and heartbreak in her voice. He had torn her apart inside with his harsh words, and he hadn't realized it until now. Suddenly, he had no idea what to say.
Just know that I'm sorry.
I never wanted to make you feel so small.
Our story is just beginning.
We'll let the truth break down these walls.
Mel sighed, and he could picture her running a hand through her naturally curly brown hair, an exasperated look in her hazel eyes. "I can't take this kind of treatment anymore, Phil. It's killing me," she whispered, and he stared at the carpet, clutching the phone. She never called him Phil unless she was extremely upset with him, and that tended to happen a lot.
And every time I think of you,
I think of how you pushed me through.
And showed me how much better I could be.
"Are you going to say anything?" she demanded after another tense moment of silence. "There has to be a reason why you called me, right? Or did you just want to gloat?"
"No," he said, his voice raspy and quiet. "Never that."
There was a pause, and then Mel let out a long exhale, sounding like she was deflating. "Why are you doing this?" she whispered. "I don't understand…I never did anything but love you…"
She sounded close to tears, and that's finally what made him speak up. She had cried too much already.
Here I am with all my heart.
I hope you understand.
I know I let you down.
But I'm never gonna make that mistake again.
"I know that," Punk said, his voice getting stronger with every word. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to lay all of my problems on you. No one deserves that. I tried to push you away because I wanted to protect you, but I see now that all I did was hurt you. And I never meant to do that, Mel. I would never want to hurt you. Please believe me."
You brought me closer to who I really am.
Come take my hand.
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
What you mean to me.
His hopes sank lower and lower as more time passed without a single word from her, and just when he was about to hang up in defeat, she said, "I believe you, Phil. But that doesn't mean that I forgive you. Why can't you let me in? I want to help you."
"I know you do," he whispered, tears springing to his eyes suddenly. "But that doesn't mean that you can."
You make me feel like I'm myself.
Instead of being someone else.
I wanna live that every day.
Mel must've heard the pain in his voice, because her tone softened. "Punk," she murmured, and he knew that if she was with him right now then she would be caressing his cheek. "I can help you. I want to help you. I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing is ever going to change that, whether we have a fight or not. I'll always come back to you."
You say what no one would say.
You know exactly how to get to me.
You know it's what I need.
It's what I need.
Punk's eyes closed, causing the tears to roll slowly down his cheeks. She had told him exactly what he had needed to hear, and he knew that this was the deciding moment in their relationship. She had made her promise, and now he could either make his, or run away.
Here I am with all my heart.
I hope you understand.
I know I let you down.
But I'm never gonna make that mistake again.
"I love you too," he said for the first time.
You brought me closer to who I really am.
So come take my hand.
I want the world to see what you mean to me.
What you mean to me.
END