So this is what it's like. Wait, no. Maybe this isn't what it's like.
Why wouldn't it be?
How would you know?
It is interesting, he might even be feeling something.
No, not feeling anything. Wait—
Maybe…
No.
She's moving closer, looking oddly delicate without her makeup. More naked than he's ever seen her, this is the true scandal. But is this the reality? Or the disguise?
She's close enough that he can smell the fading remnants of her perfume. She leans forward, places a soft hand on his.
The touch is foreign, so foreign. Of course he's applied this technique with other people, he has touched. But to be touched… he's never allowed it before. Why is he allowing it now? Is it because of that? It couldn't be, no. He's curious? But it's different. He has to be sure…
He moves his hand so his fingers are lightly touching her pulse-point. Elevated. Chemicals. Everything is just chemicals. She's so close, he can even see that her pupils are dilated.
It thrills him. So he dissects himself. Why is he thrilled? With others it is only disgust. But she… this woman—the woman—can have anyone she wishes. Most of all, she prefers women. And somehow he has been able to have such an effect on her without even trying. Perhaps that is why, beneath everything, he is disappointed. He did nothing to win her affection. What value does it have, then? But maybe he's over-thinking it. Maybe this is love? No, don't use that word. Love is chemicals. And he feels nothing.
She asks him something meaningless. Dinner? What for? But of course he knows, he's not naïve, really. Couples have dinner, then they have sex. With each other. Because… why?
He feels something in his chest tighten. Because they have something he doesn't have. Is that really all it comes down to? But he has more than them. He has intellect and they have hormones. Surely the trade is in his favor. Surely…
Mrs. Hudson yells something from downstairs. Irene Adler's face becomes a mask of disappointment. She draws away and Sherlock feels relief.
Yes, relief. Relief is that pain in his chest right now. Relief is that thing he's feeling, the thing that wants Irene to return, but not do anything. He doesn't want to "have" her, he doesn't want to kiss her. He just wants her to stay a little longer, just to see…
Relief. He's called from the room. Relief: he no longer has to look at her.